Lord Mefra - Joe usually does a gig in The Netherlands when he tours Europe. You'll probably have the chance to see him this summer.

Anyway... Go to START - PROGRAMS - ACCESSORIES - SYSTEM TOOLS - CHARACTER MAP to find a whole bunch of crazy characters. Click on the ones you like and you'll find the keystroke combinations in the lower left-hand corner of the window.

Since you mentioned Yes...have you seen their Yessymphonic Live In Amsterdam DVD? Wakeman isn't on it, but it still blows Keys To Ascension out of the water.

I'm sure Clarky will have more to add to this...

Ethn - yes I work out quite a bit... 3 times per week and I've been doing it for a year... with great improvements to my body shape, strength, fat loss etc...

I don't do suppements or any of that crap.. just normal good food 5 times per day.. I eat 3 moderately sized meals [fresh viggies, red meat only twice per week, careful with fatty foods, not protien or carbs sentric, just a good balance] with two small snacks in between.. one of the snacks is timed to happen one hour before I hit the gym.. within 30 minutes of training I'll have a cereal bar as this helps the body to refuel just a little and repair..

Monday = Shoulders and Arms

Wednesday = Butt and legs

Friday = Chest, back and abs...

keep a training log so that you can monitor what exercises you are doing and how well you are doing them..
mine is like a table with the headings in each column being Exercise, Sets, Reps, Weight and Notes..

If you want to grow you'll need to adopt the idea that "if you can hit 10 reps the weight is too light... if you can't hit 6 reps the weight is too heavy"

Variety is king... for example.. if you are traing the bicep do not use the same exercise every time.. 1st Monday = alt dumbbell curl, 2nd Monday = concentration curl, 3rd Monday = Preacher curl, 4th Monday = barbell curl.. and so on... the same applies to every muscle group... rotate as many different exercises as you can for each muscle group so that it is a good few week before you repeat yourself...

make sure you do some light to moderate aerobic thing [bike, run etc] for 10 mins to warm up.. then 10-15 mins of stretching all over.. then hit the weights.. repeat your warm-up but for half the duration of each to warm-down..

never substitute form for weight.. train hard, make sure you rest 48 hours before training the same muscle group again.. be careful not 'over-train' and run yourself into the ground..

there are normally plently of experienced guys in the gym in addition to the instructors.. talk to them.. most folks are pretty keen to help folks out..

Some of the finest double entendres from British TV & Radio!

MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."

KEN Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."

MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."

JACK Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyre choice on World Superbike racing: "Colin had a hard on in practice earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."

Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."

WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."

ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."

CRICKETER Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe: "With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it off."

CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."

JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"

WILLIE Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually have four or five dreams a night about coming from different positions.

CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it."

A FEMALE news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" (Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard!)

PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them .... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"

METRO Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."

HARRY Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew.

TED Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.

NEW Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.

PAT Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing

Brian Johnston cricket commentator "The Batsman's Holding the bowler's Willey!!!!!

r6rocker: Yeah man, Burning Organ is kinda commercial, lol, but I love the way Paul play's a little bit of everything on his albums, to include Classical!!.... I have'nt heard a hide or hare from Christian, and I like your idea on the VAC, hehe, although it should be called International Ovation's European Vacation, lmao!!.... btw, Congrats on the new Contract, and give the boss hell to pay!! ;-) btw2: ROTFLMAO at those finest double entendres....

Clarky: Sounds like your gonna have a tough time going from MIDI and the Korg Triton to your AWG, but if knocking out the Roland helps, then by all means, lol.... I dislike going through the manuals, cause it takes me like three times to read it and go, Oh yeah!!.... That's what the F they are talking about!!.. lol man, hope you can figure it out without taking away from the overall mix, and if need be, walk away and go back to it later.... lol, that works for me when I'm overwhelmed and fatigued.... I take a break, go back, and wellah!!....

Tastey: hehe, lol Dr. VAI is hot.... ;-) btw, I think you are healing from that fling you had with the other guy, and as time passes, you'll realize you did the right thing....

mick87: lol man, I got the heavy sake ready, lol, and bar no crazy stuff, the Pat's outta have this one sealed!!!!.... Then Tom Brady will finally get the respect he deserves.... He is the real deal, lol!!.... Compai!! ;-)

Amber78: Hope you find that JS1000 for your husband.... I'm sure it can work miracles.... JOE's music does!!.... Good Luck and all the best from the T2J Realm!! :-)

slanshroom: Hope you get your comp fixed bro, today my Yahoo is not showing the lower 2/3 of the screen!!.... It is F'D!!

Clarky edit: lol man, I read where you can sequence the scenes in by use of faders, panning, fx send 1 and fx send 2.... Sounds like a lifesaver man, and you still have 15 channels left over for the orchestra, lol, everything else can go through the other channel.... I think you need to get the most out of the AW16G, but by all means, DON'T lose what you've put in there so far!!!!.... Good luck man, get the Lab Suit ready bro!!.... btw, my nephew (I told ya he produces and records R&B and Hip Hop bands....) came by and showed me some mixes he made last weekend.... We were up till 4:00am listening and drinkin' the Orion, lol, I gotta learn what he does, cause he know's it like the back of his hand, lol!!.... Making Clarky International someday would be great!!....

Sphere9: lol man, we do live in a weird society no matter what, hehe, lol ;-)

WOW I FEEL LIKE A SLUG...sorry hellion, maybe you're were trying to tell us to quit it cuz you're parents were monitoring? or does it really offend you? sorry.

yeah i saw scatgirl, what a freak!!! scatgirl for G3...not!

ovation: "bleep" for G3 hahahaha, nice one...

scared im not healing from "it" though....eek!

mikesb Am I reading that right? Joe did BV's for Crowded House?? Flippin' 'eck! What a diverse career the man has had- never knew!!

Ddo the stu - dude... lol .. have you any idea of the time I'm about to waste playing with these little squiggles and things in Word... lol..

and if you have a crawling, scabby old minging Doris around 30 mins after training you "crab up"... lmao..

b.t.w. - I love the Harry Carpenter one... lmao...

I heard about a girl once who walked into a bar and asked the bar man "can I please have a double entendre"... and so he gave her one..

fnarf fnarf yak yak Finbar.....

"CARENZA Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could get it." "
this ones not funny at all... I think it still applies today...

the cool thing about all of this is... should I get this working.. it'll set the tone for the mixing process for the rest of the album... lab coat on... no pain no gain.. like even if the pain is in yer head...

If I were you I'd grab a few Orions and breeze down to the nephews place... what him do his production stuff and mixing.. see how he goes about it and maybe you'll be able to translate some of his techniques onto your own recording set-up... the biggest trick to put the gloss on a recording is the post production stuff... overall eq and multi-band compression.. if he has this stuff you may want to bribe him into helping you when you come to master your own toonz..

picture that tho... Hanging Salad but in a Satanic sense... like the salad of biblical proportions with the power to bring death and destruction to entire cities... cooowelll.. lol
in fact.. I'm sure I've known a few mingers of that ilk..

stuff like Pull Me Under, Under a Glass Moon and Erotomania do 'do it' for me... but so much of it seems to be technical centric.. his tone too.. I have mixed feelings about it.. like jeez... what an amazing tone.. and jeez.. it's so crisp and clean it seems kinda stagnant...

CLarky: The new Rolando VGA-8 I think....is supposed to have tracking that is so good it could keep up with a really sloppy player even. Marty Freidman apparently used a VGA-8 for guitar and amp modeled sounds(via) midi then ran it into his poweramp for his album "Music For Speeding." I'm not on a midi kick or anything, it just seems like if I ever needed strings or other instruments in a song that a guitar would much more realistically contol a midid patch. I guess in theory if you had the midi system hooked up to a Trirton you could trigger it's sounds with the guitar right?

anibur, when we got XP, it wasn't compatable with our scanner, which sucked hard, especially since I just learned how to use it properly :(

Clarky, that new leaf...hahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!

Hey Joe,

Great to see and hear you are still jamming hard! I'm sure you get this quite a bit, but if you ever have time, I'd like you to hear some of my stuff. The URL is www.soleas.net/music But, it is password protected, so if you like email me at scott@soleas.net and I will reply with a password. Anyhow, keep jamming, and thank you for all of the inspiration.

ocps - this midi guitar thing is interesting.. and yes I'd expect to be able to trigger sounds out of the Triton with it too... If I recall correctly, you can even assign a different midi channel to each strng.. this means that you couls do odd stuff like - double bass on the 6th string.. piano on the 3rd, 4th and 5th.. trumpet on the 1st and 2nd..

for me though none of this would work.. for the type of music I write.. I want my string and brass sections to behave just like real stirng and brass sections.. essentially four independant parts based upon the 'bass, tenor, alto, soprano' model.. which would be pretty much impossible for a single guitarist to play...

however.. for more synthetic moments and stuff where being 'authentic' is not an issue, I bet having this would be a lot of fun and could well lead to some interesting and creative ideas...

a sound that would interest me would be a mad sythn lead mixed with my conventional lead tone.. and I know that this can be done.... bend the two and go mental... lol..

maybe I'll look at this stuff seriously one day... but only if I have the spare cash to throw at it that dont need to be thrown elsewhere....

PAF JOE???? is this a crass marketing exercise??