I received this today - figured I would share. . .1

Found in the New Dysfunctional Section of a Hallmark Store

1. I always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. And now that you've come into my life... (Inside card) - I've changed my mind.

2. I must admit, you brought religion into my life. (Inside card) - I never believed in Hell until I met you.

3. As the days go by, I think how lucky I am.... (Inside card) - That you're not here to ruin it for me.

4. Congratulations on your promotion. Before you go.... (Inside card) - Will you take the knife from my back? You'll probably need it again.

5. Someday I hope to marry... (Inside card) - Someone other than you.

6. Happy Birthday! You look great for your age.... (Inside card) - Almost lifelike!

7. When we were together, you said you'd die for me... (Inside card) - Now we've broken up, I think it's time to keep your promise.

8. We've been friends for a very long time... (Inside card) - What do you say we stop?

9. I'm so miserable without you... (Inside card) - It's almost like you're still here.

10. Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.... (Inside card) - Did you ever find out who the father was?

11. You are such a good friend. If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket... (Inside card) - I'd miss you terribly and think of you often.

12. Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday... (Inside card) - So we're having you put to sleep.

13. Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad! (Available only in Alabama,Mississippi, and Arkansas)

14. Looking back over the years we've been together, I can't help but wonder... (Inside card) - What was I thinking?

zinc master Very funny, he he... let's see if any of my friends dares to bring one of those cards on my birthday this weekend...lol

Two months ago I ordered Robben Ford's cd Talk to Your Daughter from my online music shop. It's been delayed several times, and yesterday I finally got a message that the cd is - sold out! What kind of cr*p is that?! Then why do they state delivery time will be 4-6 working days, I think they should know if an item is very hard to find or not, right?! F'in f'ers... As a compensation, I won't have to pay the freight on the next purchase. As if it will be one... but on the other hand, they have Joe's new album on sale pretty cheap (release date April 14th over here) so that's probably what I'll buy next. Hopefully I'll receive it before Christmas, too. *rolling my eyes*

tell me that the toys r us commercial with the bunnies isnt the cutest fuckin thing! im guessing michelle might agree with me?

toys r us bunnies for G3....

sammy: have no reason really on the piercings, well kind of, overcome some fear/anxiety, tongue was kind of a bet, nose-boredom-and to show that its nothing-so the hubby would do his nipples(sucker! cuz thats supposed to be the worst pain! - so he couldnt back out!hee hee) bellybutton-thought it would be cute, although i dont really show it in my old age....but yeah im really gonna think about the tattoo thing....i can at least take the piercings out, tats are 4eva...

Hey everyone, feeling a bit depressed today.

How is everyone? i haven't been posting very often recently, sorry bout that.

I got my music theory book in the mail today, I'm gonna try to read it over the half term break.

well thats all i can think of right now...

tastey- i love that commercial... and those are generally two songs that tend to get stuck in my head (peter cottontail one, and the toys r us theme song) but somehow when the two of them are together they dont stay in my head for days... good thing too or you would have a raving lunatic on your hands... :)

Austin- yes i caved... couldnt help it... there were six days left... i had gotten the sony email (so we are making progress here) it was a whole song.... and ovation shamed me into it, saying i cant believe no one is talking about it... didnt want to let joe down :) those are my excuses... any of them work? ;)

Hope all in Satchland have a good day...

I woke up to ONLY 18 posts? Geez man, the last week or so it's been about 5 pages every 12 hours! Nice to see the site off of hyper-post mode (for the moment anyway). lol!

slan, my friend would drink Canadian Windsor (yuk!), and I would drink good ol' Jack Daniels. Ohhh the fun we had! Well, what we remember anyway. lol! Bad stuff indeed! Thank God we were to poor to afford a camera back then. I can just see it now...." Mom, these pictures of you & Julie when you were younger are so cu....OMG Mom! Is that YOU!!" lol! The great thing about it is now we have kids and are both very responsible parents. Her oldest just turned 21, and my oldest is 15. We always whisper to each other how grateful we are that our kids are NOTHING like we were growing up. LOL!! What a difference a little supervision makes. lol! We didn't have much, so we more or less ran wild. I don't recommend raising your kids like that. lol!

Powerslave "I always tended to avoid people who keep food down their shorts ;-) " Yes, I see your point. lmao!!! Though it's in his waistband, like he's packing a .45, but he's only packing a bagel. lmao!!! yuk! Wonder if anybody ever say "Hey Spicoli, is that a bagel in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?" lol!

PD, I'm not a big Matrix fan, but I have seen bits & pieces . Don't remember her, beings that I try to forget the movie as soon as I see it. LOL! Just ain't my thang. Don't know about Yates. I drink Clover Hill...cold! lol! Yum :) Don't live to far from the winery, but I've never been there...yet! Man, you made me think for a minute ~ It's not Friday, it's Thursday here. lol! Damn, for a second I thought this was the last day of work. lol! Hey, it's payday :)

Zinc Master, good stuff! lol!

Eva, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Hope you have a fantastic weekend! LMAO on you saying "F'in F'ers" Felt good, didn't it. lol!

Tastey, yep, that's a cute commercial. Love the bunny commercials. Cadburry used to have some good ones. Haven't seen any yet this year.

slanshroom: I work on these bro.... They haul passengers, cargo and VIP's all around the area.... It's a pleasure to work for the Marine Corps as a civilian, because I see up close and personal how these guy's really do kick ass, lol!!.... I was in the Air Force after H.S. and worked on RF4-C's and F-15's for awhile.... Then I went on to heavy's.... DC8, B747, DC10, MD11 (now Boeing MD11, lol), L1011 (Masterpiece design for it's time!!), then worked in an Eagle (F-15) Engine Shop for awhile and now I'm back to working for the military, lol.... Airplanes are great arent they!!.... Guitars are even better ;-) lol, stay kuul man, and dont work to hard my brotha!! :-)

btw, I just heard they captured 3 Japanese civilians in Iraq.... They demanded the Japanese Self Defense Force pull out or they (one 19yr old cameraman, one woman, and one reporter) will kill them.... Time for the Marines to make an operation rescue!!.... I'm praying for the best, and bring on June 30th, or whatever the hell the date is for sovereinty!!

Dear Joe,

I am asking you out on a CELLO DUEL.

My name is Sachino, I am 25 and have been playing cello for 20 years. I can play: "Surfing With the Alien", "Love Thing", Summer Song"(live version), "Always With Me, Always With You", "Flying in a Blue Dream", "The Extremist", "Crushing Day"; as well as Vai tunes: "For the Love of God", "The Animal","Warm Regards", on electric CELLO. I am asking you to do something that has never been done before: duel with the CELLO. There have been a lot of G3 concerts(I went to one), but I bet people would like to see something a little different. I will gladly be "defeated" on stage by any of you guys, all I ask is your comment on this idea.

The Cellonator

Nice one, zinc master!

Did you guys read the interview w/ John5? He's coming out with a solo instrumental album and still doesnt know the reasons why MM fired him....strange. I still have respect for Manson but I cannot handle the fact that he was such a prick to his band members.

In his interviews, Yngwie always claims that he doesnt listen to any of the current music at all. He says its all "shit." But at the same time he says he loves Evanescence. Maybe he will replace Evanescence's guitarist now! lol

Also, Yngwie said he never heard Rockin in the free world even once before G3! Not even once!!!!

Dr. VAI and Nelly.... I'm Like A Bird @ The Grammy's....

Greg M: Welcome back! Don't know how long you've been away, but by the amount of the post you've sent here, you've been around long.

Yes! You should go and see Deep Purple live if you have a chance. Saw them last october and after that the dvd "Total Abandon - Australia '99 ". I've been a DP fan over 20 years and Steve Morse fan for 18 years. It was the first time I saw Morse live and after the coming G3 I can rest in peace (haven't seen Vai live with his own band).

They play more their new stuff with Morse, but some of the legendary ones too. Anyway, if you like guitarplaying, go and see how Morse steals the show!!!

Man, message posting is pretty slow nowadays...everyone on spring break?

Mikey, that video of Vai and Nelly Furtado is pretty amazing. I saw that live when it happened (on TV of course!) Nelly Furtado looks gorgeous. Vai sounded a lot like Hendrix in some parts. Always a good thing. Happy Easter everyone! ....or is it too early?

lordvader - You spelled "intervals" correctly.

Shame on you for even ASKING us whether or not you should go see Deep Purple. Of course you should go!

Most of your excuses were pretty iffy, but I guess "didnt want to let joe down" will work. ;-)

Why does it seem (to me, at least) that you're working on different planes each time someone asks you what you do? You're really a member of INTERPOL or the CIA or something, aren't you? ;-)

Ever tried sleeping on one of those little hospital bedside couches that extends out to a bed? For 5 nights!! I am tired I will tell you. Its bad enough the bed is so uncomfortable, but the nurses will come in the room every 2-4 hours to check on everything. I have had really no sleep. But to the good news, the wife DID NOT have to have surgery. She has adhesions (scar tissue) from previous surgeries that has grown around her small intestines. This at times causes a restriction and severe pain. She had to have surgery for this about 6 years ago. We where sure it was going to happen this time too, but with prayers answered the treatment they gave her was successful. Thank GOD.

We certainly appreciate all the prayers and well wishes from you all. Its nice to know people from all over the world are concerned for their fellow Satch-ers. Peace, and GOD bless you all.

hmm...heres something for you to try when your bored. get a cd, some foil, a banana, some battery acid, a light bulb, and some soap.

pour the battery acid over the banana and wrap in tin foil. put it in the microwave, lay the cd against it..the light bulb the other side and some soap near the stuff. stick a matchstick in the top and just before you close the door, light the match, and then turn the mircowave on...

then enjoy till your parents either walk in or return home