i know i shud probably go lookin for it on the site but how did u get a signed cd? That would be cool, it wud mean alot :)

i aint taking credit for this and it is a peice from ebaumsworld.com this following text,
To My Dearest Wife

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache or backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late show - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo - 6 times

Wrong time of the month - 14 times

You had to go to the bathroom - 19 times

Of the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished, and once I was afraid that I had hurt you because you started thrashing around and breathing heavy. Let's try to improve this, shall we??

Love, Your Hubby

-------------------------

To My Dearest Husband,

I think things are a little confused. Here are the REAL reasons you didn't get more than you did this past year:

Came home drunk and tried to screw the cat - 23 times

Did not come home at all - 36 times

Did not come - 21 times

Came too soon - 38 times

Went soft before you got it in - 19 times

Cramps in your leg - 16 times

Working too late - 33 times

You had a rash, probably from a toilet seat - 29 times

Caught yourself in your zipper - 15 times

You had a cold and your nose kept running - 21 times

You had burned your tongue on hot coffee - 9 times

You had a splinter in your finger - 11 times

You lost the notion after thinking about it - 42 times

Came in your pajamas after reading a dirty book - 16 times

The reason I laid still was because you had missed me and were screwing the sheet. You seemed to be having a good time and I didn't want to move and spoil it for you. I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling. What I said was, "Would you like me on my back or kneeling?" The time I was thrashing around and gasping was when you farted and I was fighting for air. Maybe you can work on your "shortcomings?"

ICEZER- really? tell me more about this Guitar Pro... what is it about?

well i don't think i've ever said this before... but... i'm actually embarrassed for joe... playing in what looked like a little video store? wtf ? i just dropped my head when i saw those pictures... sure joe looked like he was having fun but for some reason i couldnt help but feel embarrased for him, i mean...in one of megaboyds shots it looks like theres a guy browsing for a good sci-fi book while joe is playing guitar! i was trying to see if it was somehow spliced together or something.... as for "Tumble" being an Itunes only song.... fuck that, im sorry joe but im jacking your shit... thats right im jacking your shit... tell me where to send my $1 though, cause im not sending it to apple just for them to have some special distribution thing... im not biying an ipod just to get the tune brother, gimme some kinda mailing address and ill send u the buck, otherwise consider yourself JACKED!

Yea im goin to the G3 on the 29th of june in London! cant wai, it shud be a rockin gig, i live in ireland so ive to go to London to see him, Im sure it will be a day at the beach ;) heh Ill hang around the venue all day, he has to come out some time :) im goin to cali in v soon so ill camp outside his house to :) i think im obsessed :|

This may seem like a completely nieve question, but I'm still not sure who Robert Fripp is...:-(

trutina, satchblues, & anyone else interested in iTunes: iTunes downloads can be unprotected in a better way than what you described, satchblues. The way you described uncompresses the files, then compresses them again. The first time they were compressed, certain information was discarded from them to make them smaller. When you compress them again, the info that was originally there to be discarded is no longer there, therefore, good information, information that we can hear is now discarded in order to compress it this time. If you listen to the original files, then to the recompressed ones you made from the cd you burned, you will hear a difference in sound quality.

Greyfox...loved the joke!

Icezer... I d/l'ed the file from yer site...haven't tried to open it yet...too busy listening to ITLIS......don't know if I can open it or not....don't know what an rar file is.... unless it's an archive file produced by windows arc program?

got the ITLIS cd today...listening to it as I type....liking what I've heard so far....you can tell Joe is expanding in his creativity.....the new sounds...the tangents he gets on...

Joe you were playing in a record store hahaha ive played bigger gigs than that, no efense but really i have. grey fox88 that is a really funny joke your hella funny. o by the way i want to tell eveyone the equipment i use. ok i use a marshall DSL 401. i love that amp it rocks. i just wish the clean channal was a little more clean. and i use a fender strat but im currently am saving up for a carvin DC127 its pretty sweet well anyway cya

Megaboyd: ha ha cut your hair young man! Either that or grow that beard longer, or put it in dreads.

Hey Joe ,I passed you a copy of "Boogieman"when you came to Vancouver-Tom Lee's. I have 2 new pieces on there and it is called "Mani Note's" instead of 'Boogieman". You have been a huge influence to me especially when it comes to writing.I was the dark dude who's hat you had signed the year before at Future Shop. Please write back,it would be a pleasure to hear a feedback. RESPECT, www.danmani.com. Dan Mani

[Here's a funny joke and im not agienst bush

Bush or Kerry

There's a teacher in a small Texas town. She asks her class how many of them are Bush fans. Not really knowing what a Bush fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raise their hands except one boy--Johnny.

The teacher asks Johnny why he has decided to be different. Johnny says, "I'm not a Bush fan."

The teacher says, "Why aren't you a Bush fan?"

Johnny says, "I'm a John F. Kerry fan." The teacher asks why he's a Kerry fan. The boy says, "Well, my mom's a Kerry fan, and my Dad's a Kerry fan, so I'm a Kerry fan!"

The teacher is kind of angry, because this is Texas, so she says, "What if you're Mom was a moron, and you're dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

Johnny says, "That would make me a Bush fan." LOL

Joe,

I just listened to your new stuff. And I have only one thing to say:

Take a vacation away from musicians! ;-)

I didn't care for this new one much. You start each song with a cool melody then stray off into noman's land with focusless shredding that goes nowhere, and seems to last an eternity. It sounds like you're warming up and not really playing a song. No offense. But I can do that. And I don't even play that much. It's your somg melodies and hooks that make your stuff great. And this one doesn't have much of that.

The first few bars of each song are fantastic! But even though all that shredding is done well. It's extremely boring to listen to. We already have enough Joey Taffola's in this world. What we sorely need are good song writers. Your song writing is what makes you stand out. NOT YOUR SHREDDING!

I have a feeling you'll focus more on writing "Songs" on the next one. You seem to go through these wierd spats of wacky off- the -wall creations between writing cool melodies. Like excorsizing demons or something ;-).

Thanks for the strange twisted road you're taking us on. Although I don't care much for this one. You've already created a lot of cool stuff I really love. And I'm sure you'll create more later on down the road.

-Scott

-P.S.- Thanks to your influence. And playing along to your music. I can now create my own songs. So thanks for teaching this man how to fish. Say "Yo" to the family for me.

trutina: Glad your getting the MRI's done bro.... The Doc's will figure it out for ya man, no worries!!.... Now give Miranda a kiss for T2J ;-).... btw, yup on Paul's site, and Guitar Wars knocks any dvd I have ever seen OUT of the water!!!!.... Nuno and Paul jamming on Viking Kong!! Cupids Dead, Get The Funk Out, Midnight Express.... Oh, and over 2.5 hrs and the quality is amazing!!!!.... Simply classy and professional!!!!....

Good to see Narface back!! :-)

Gotta run to work boys and girls.... Back to the lurk, lol....

Greetings, Joe.

Thanks for the gift of music...and more new music!! I must say that the new title track is awe inspiring!! I've been listening track 5 all day, and I just think it's amazing...really evokes emotion!! Best wishes!!