Matt King- was browsing through a few pages back of posts and downloaded your Kaleidoscope recording- I loved it! Great dynamics, loved that middle section especially. That's a good idea of yours about the MP3, sadly I don't have any recording gear at home and am always envious of people uploading their stuff online! One day I'll get round to it. Anyway, I would love to listen to it, even if I can't contribute right now!

Suzie, damn right, black pudding is a disgrace. It should have been thrown out with hanging and drowning of the witch!

Ricky, nice interview! Never knew about the guy that fell off the lighting truss. whoa! Glad he made it!

Good stuff!

962

Why do you have to move out of the UK since Bush may have won re-election here in the US?

We did not leave our country when your country threw out Winston Churchill after WWII.

(As an aside - I am not comparing Bush and Churchill.)

I did not leave the US after Russia/USSR threw out Gorbachev. Did you?

If Blair retains his position in next years election, should I leave the US?

If Blair loses his position next year, should I leave the US?

Marines!

A college professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated that there is no God, the expression, "One Nation Under God", was unconstitutional, and further, he was going to prove there is no God.

Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. bsp; I'll give you 15 minutes!"

The lecture room fell silent.. You could have heard a pin fall. Ten minutes went by. Again he taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God. I'm still waiting."

His countdown got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine just released from active duty and newly registered in the class walked up to the professor, hit him full force in the face, and sent him flying over teacups from his lofty platform.

The professor was out cold! At first the students were shocked and babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silent. The class fell silent...waiting.

Eventually, the professor came to, shaken. He looked at the young Marine in the front row. When he regained his senses and could speak he yelled, "What's the matter with you? Why did you do that?"

"God was busy. He sent me."

The classroom roared with applause.

A husband took his wife to play her first round of golf.....

Nervous, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the largest house adjacent to the course.

The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us."

So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique lamp was lying on its side near the broken window.

A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that lamp for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life! And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said.

"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"And now," the couple asked in unison, what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that lamp and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"

"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the same for you!"

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other.

After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.

THE LITTLE GIRL AND THE COP

A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl named Mary on her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

"Nice bike" the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!"

The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it."

The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?"

"Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop.

Sex In The Dark

There was this couple that had been married for 20 years. Every time they made love the husband always insisted on shutting off the light. Well, after 20 years the wife felt this was ridiculous.

She figured she would break him out of this crazy habit. So one night, while they were in the middle of a wild, screaming, romantic session, she turned on the lights.

She looked down... and saw her husband was holding a battery-operated pleasure device... a vibrator! Soft, wonderful and larger than a real one. She went completely ballistic.

Sorry for the Caps

A MAN ESCAPES FROM PRISON WHERE HE HAS BEEN FOR 15 YEARS. HE BREAKS INTO A HOUSE TO LOOK FOR MONEY AND GUNS AND FINDS A YOUNG COUPLE IN BED.

HE ORDERS THE GUY OUT OF BED AND TIES HIM TO A CHAIR. WHILE TYING THE GIRL TO THE BED HE GETS ON TOP OF HER, KISSES HER NECK, THEN GETS UP AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM.

WHILE HE'S IN THERE, THE HUSBAND TELLS HIS WIFE: "LISTEN, THIS GUY'S AN ESCAPED CONVICT, LOOK AT HIS CLOTHES! HE PROBABLY SPENT LOTS OF TIME IN JAIL AND HASN'T SEEN A WOMAN IN YEARS.

I SAW HOW HE KISSED YOUR NECK. IF HE WANTS SEX, DON'T RESIST, DON'T COMPLAIN, DO WHATEVER HE TELLS YOU. SATISFY HIM NO MATTER HOW MUCH HE NAUSEATES YOU. THIS GUY IS PROBABLY VERY DANGEROUS. IF HE GETS ANGRY, HE'LL KILL US. BE STRONG, HONEY. I LOVE YOU"

Bumper Stickers You Would Like To See

Jesus loves you...but everyone else thinks you are an ass.

Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"

The proctologist called ...they found your ZZZhead.

Everyone has a photographic memory ...some just don't have any film.

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

I used to have a handle on life...but it broke off.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

Guys...just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

Some people just don't know how to drive... I call these people "Everybody But Me,"

Heart Attacks...God's revenge for eating His animal friends.

Don't like my driving? Then quit watching me.

If you can read this..I can slam on my brakes and sue you.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I'M TOLD THAT THIS STORY IS ABSOLUTELY TRUE...

In the great desert lived a band of nomads. Their leader, Benny, had risen to his rank due to his magnificent beard. His people believed a man's strength and courage came from his beard. Thus, the man with the biggest beard was their chief.

After leading the band for many years, Benny decided he wanted to shave. He asked the elders for their advice. They were shocked. They reminded him of the ancient warning that the leader who shaved would be turned into earthenware.

Benny scoffed at that, and cut his beard. As the final whisker was cut, a huge dust storm came up. When it cleared, there stood a man-sized clay vessel. The elders knew the legend must be true.

Their conclusion?

JOE IS MENTIONED ON A GODSMACK DVD!

DUDES!!!!

I'm sitting here watching the Godsmack Changes DVD, and I take a quick break to get a drink (okay, I had to pee). I come back through and stopped in the kitchen for a second (to get that drink), and I hear Sully say JOE SATRIANI. Wha? Did I just hear what I think I heard???

I run into the livingroom and hit the rewind button. Sully is talking about his guitar player Tony Rombola and how he, like the bass player Robbie, can play a wide variety of styles, not just heavy riffs. Sully says "He (Tony) can play anything, I'm sure, from JOE SATRIANI to whatever, and uh, he was raised with his own influences from Toni Iommi to Jimi Hendrix to whatever."

VERY COOL to know bands like Godsmack know who the masters are!

This is a killer DVD. Just the song Re-Align and the visuals at the opening of it - it makes every hair stand on end. It also shows Sully and Shannon (fuckin' Larkin) with their daughters on the road.

As for Shannon Larkin, he's such a HUGE drummer! He's skinny as a friggin' rail, but he fills every cubic inch of space behind his kit. He's an animal and his arms never stop flying all over the place.

I gotta get back to watching the DVD. I still haven't see it through to the end. They're getting ready to show my FAVORITE part - the drum solo!!!

YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!

THAT WAS AWESOME!!!

OMG that rocked!! I cranked the volume to the surround sound up to 55 and sat in the middle of the room on the floor. They rocked when I saw them live on Oct. 19th, and they rock on this DVD!! Geezus man, just when you think your head can't take any more, they break out into the opening of YYZ and go into a medley with Aerosmith, Zeppelin, Rush - aww man, it's f'in killer!! I stood with my hands over my mouth when I saw them at the show. It was so incredible I almost couldn't bear it. lmao!!!

ha! Enough of my Godsmack excitement. I now return you to your regularly scheduled program ;-)

WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

ome - tHE wACHOVIA aRENA - wILKES bARRE, pa

why do people vote for bush?

he's a stupid idiotic crazy maniac intent on taking over every country in the world and taking whatever oil there is for his own use.
he has endangered the whole world with his war on terror with no regard for the safety of his own people including his army.
blair is just as bad with sucking up to bush. blair has done the same thing with endangering this country and our army.

people who follow these 2 men and what they stand for are either misinformed and misguided or stupid, blind and just as idiotic as the people they follow.

Hello Joe and friends: It is a mexican tradition to do “calaveras” (translation= skeletons”), the calaveras are done to remember lost family, friends etc. But calaveras are also done on alive people to have fun. Calaveras are done with rhymes, making jokes about how people is going to go with the death. Death is celebrated on November 2 and I always do my family’s calaveras. This year I will attempt to do something funny about this forum, it is my first calavera in english, so, I hope you like it (I don’t mean to insult you guys, it is just for fun). I missed a lot of people here, so if anyone wants to add some sentences to the calavera, please feel free !

Saludos amigos

Joe was playing a gig, at Mexico City, when death came to get him, he said “Damn, what a pity”

Joe come with me, I know you’re a hell of a player, but you didn’t entertained me, because I always prefered Slayer

Joe replied very angry, please don’t take me yet, I will maka a recommendation, that I’m sure you won’t regret

Please take my friends at Talk 2 Joe, they are useless people, they don’t do their homework, and they don’t work either

Ok said death, I’ll give you a chance, I hope I don’t regret it, lets give it a try

Alexandre didn’t want to go, In Portugal I will stay, I want to give a show, I don’t care nobody attends

Clarky liked the idea, he always reads books about Nazis, he likes war and death, he likes to say he is fancy

Michelle didn’t like that fact, my children and husband need me, but then her husband stepped in the way, please go with the death and satisfy my need

Tastey didn’t want to go, I am planning to have a daughter, I will only go with you, if you bring my band Slaughter

Jose Vega wanted to go, but death didn’t like that fact, with your multiple replies, I’m sure you will give me a heart attack

Jazzy didn’t like the idea, and gave death words very unpropper, Cuthbert shoved Jazzy and said, go with the death grasshopper

Austin stepped in the way, and gave death a T2J cd, come on give it a try, and get the hell out of here

I already heard it, I prefer the doors, I hate every song in that cd, specially Dark Koridorz

Adrián, that's fantastic and funny as hell!! I'm going to print it out so I can save it and show it to my friends.

Just In from Yahoo

Mr Nick

A thought.

Didn't Great Britain send Chamberlain to Hitler and allow Hitler to take some "living room" in Checkoslovakia before WWII?