Bumper Stickers 19

"Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself."

"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?"

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"

"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."

"2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."

"I killed a 6-pack just to watch it die. "

"MY CHILD was trustee of the month at ELMWOOD!!"

BAD COP! - NO DONUT!!!

Suzie: I'm doing great thanks.

Bumper Stickers 20

Stop repeat offenders. Don't re-elect them!

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Steven, I'm still 350 posts behind. Thanks for your message. Today is flying by so fast! I hope tonight at work goes just as fast. Things are good here today. Hope the same goes for you. Vets are VIP's always. God Bless them all.

Bahduh, hello! I haven't heard from my friend in a few days. I left 2 messages, but no one has called me back yet. I think they would have called me if something happened, so she's probably staying with her daughter for a few days.

Outstanding Artist Of The Day - Dave Weiner

www.daveweiner.com - site recently updated :)

Mikey, he's on the Eric Clapton's Crossroads Guitar Festival (2004) DVD

Bumper stickers 21

Gravity- It's not just a good idea, it's the LAW!

Why be difficult, when with a bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Life is too complicated in the morning.

All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

The Schizophrenic: An Unauthorized Autobiography

Nobody's perfect. I'm a Nobody.

My wife said "If you go hunting or fishing one more time I'm going to leave you" ...I'm sure going to miss her.

Ask me about my vow of silence.

About public media and information: (DoTheStu: aren't you studying this area? You lighten me up, if anybody else is not warming up about this)

Why is it so, that in the name of the 'freedom of speech', there is so much bad news released in public medias -including morning news, when children can (will) see the news about all the tragedys (even the smaller ones, which don't have any larger influence in your own country)- ???

I mean: what is the point? (answer: there ain't one) ...what are the benefits of it? (answer: none) ...what is the effect of it? (answer: nothing good)

I know, that this world isn't a rosegarden ...and my children will learn that, when it's time for them to learn that! But I just can't understand why the fuck we are being feed with all that shit all the time!?!?!?

Bumper Stickers 22 (last one)

My karma ran over your dogma.

I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Help starve a feeding bureaucrat.

My other vehicle is a Romulan Warbird!

Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.

"I is a college student."

Guitarmiester: Fall in love, get some ass, start a fight, watch a movie, smoke a blunt. These get the emotions flowing, then take it to your guitar and let 'er rip.

Zinc Master, hehe, sorry didn't mean to rain on your parade man! Those e-mail scams crack me up....the first time I got one I actually went to the trouble of mailing back, with a message that simply read "fuck off", but then the next day I got 6 more of the same mail from different addresses so I realised it's all randomly generated. Internet fraud is lame....what a waste of time.

everybody check out http://www.sorryeverybody.com

I usually find this helps when I get in a creative slump, which happens a lot, believe me! I got it recently, so I spent a few weeks listening to Nuno Bettencourt almost exclusively....his style is really different to that of Joe, so when I started playing Joe, Eric Johnson and Andy Timmons again, I was hearing loads of cool ideas in my head.

I usually find the problem arising when I'm getting used to the sound of everything i'm playing.....this is what I think of as an autopilot phase, where you're just playing, without particularly thinking about what you're playing. Changing your influences for a while should help you to think with more focus about what you're playing!

sorry for not answering you guys...

been busy as hell prepping for a work trip to Dublin next week....

I'll reply to you all either Friday or over the weekend...

the thing I don't get is -

I do all this coming to work an' shit.....

and then the fuckers start wanting me to actually do stuff....

like.. what the fuck is all that about??????

962

Clarky: I just picked up Unleashed in the East. I am pretty damn speechless. This album kicks major ass. I will do exactly as you said, sir Clark. Learn songs, write songs. You have a very interesting list of licks you learnt. I am curious, were bands like Judas Priest and Led Zeppelin considered the Marilyn Manson and Eminems of the 70's? lol!

8:::::::> in (oYo) = >:D lmao!!!

962: Glad you pointed out the www.sorryeverybody.com I think republicans need to be doing that! lol

So you guys think Yasser Arafat went to heaven or hell? I think God and Satan are playing ping pong with his soul.

And here is a funny thing by George Carlin. Makes a lot of sense. Its on abortion. Funny stuff.

*taken from "George Carlin: Back In Town"*

Let me ask you something... Why is it that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn't wanna fuck in the first place, huh? Boy these conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn, they would do anything for the unborn, but once yer born... yer on yer own.

Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. After that, they don't wanna know about you. They don't wanna hear from you, no nothing! No neo-natal care, no daycare, no HeadStart, no school lunch, no foodstamps, no welfare, no nothing. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're fucked.

Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach military age. Then they think you are just fine. Just what they've been lookin' for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise 'em to be dead soldiers. "Pro-life."

These people aren't "pro-life," they're killing doctors, what kinda "pro-life" is that? What, they will do anything to save a fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor, they just might have to kill it?

They're not "pro-life," you know what they are? They're "anti-woman." Simple as it gets: "anti-woman." They don't like women. They believe a woman's primary role is to function as a broodmare for the state. "Pro-life."

You don't see many of these white anti-abortion women volunteering to have any black fetuses transplanted into their uteruses do ya? No. You don't see 'em adopting a whole lot of crack babies do ya? No, that might be something CHRIST would do.

FIRE!!" Come on you moral crusaders, let's see a little smoke... To match that fire in ya belly.

Here's another question I have. How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette? What, are we so much better than chickens all of a sudden? When did this happen, that we passed chickens in "goodness"? Name 6 ways we're better than chickens...

See, nobody can do it! You know why? Cuz chickens are decent people. You don't see chickens hangin' around in drug gangs, do ya? No, you don't see a chicken strappin' some guy to a chair & hookin' up his nuts to a car battery, do ya? When's the last chicken ya heard about, came home from work and beat the shit out of his hen? Huh?! Doesn't happen. Cuz chickens are decent people.

But let's get back to this abortion shit. Now, "is a fetus a human being?" This seems to be the central question. Well, if a fetus is a human being, how come the census doesn't count them? If a fetus is a human being, how come when there's a miscarriage they don't have a funeral? If a fetus is a human being, how come people say "We have 2 children and one on the way" insteady of saying "We have 3 children"? People say life begins at conception; I say life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous process. Continuous, just keeps rolling along. Rolling, and rolling, and rolling along. And you know something, you can go back further than that- what about the carbon atoms? HUH? Human life could not exist without carbon. So is it just possible that maybe we shouldn't be burning all this coal?

Just looking for a little consistency in the anti-abortion arguments. See, the really hardcore people will tell ya "life begins at fertilization." Fertilization; when the sperm fertilizes the egg. Which is usually a few moments after the man says "Gee honey, I was gonna pull out, but the phone rang and it startled me." Fertilization. But even after the egg is fertilized, it's still 6 or 7 days before it reaches the uterus and pregnancy begins, and not every egg makes it that far. 80% of a woman's fertilized eggs are rinsed and flushed out of her body once a month during those delightful few days she has. They wind up on sanitary napkins, and yet they are fertilized eggs. So basically what these anti-abortion people are tellin' us is that any woman who's had more than one period is a serial killer! Consistency.

Hey, if they really wanna get serious, what about all the sperm that are wasted when the state executes a condemned man and one of these pro-life guys who's watchin' comes in his pants, huh? Here's a guy standin' over there with his jockey shorts full of little Vinnies and Debbies, and nobody's sayin' a word to the guy. Not every ejaculation deserves a name!

Now, speaking of consistency: Catholics, which I was until I reached the age of reason... Catholics and other Christians are against abortions and they're against homosexuals. WELL WHO HAS LESS ABORTIONS THAN HOMOSEXUALS?!?!?! Leave these fuckin' people alone fer chrissakes! Here is an entire class of people guaranteed NEVER to have an abortion! And the Catholics and Christians are just tossin' 'em aside! You'd think they'd make natural allies.

Go look for consistency in religion. And speakin' of my friends the Catholics; when Cardinal John O'Connor (RIP) of New York and some of these other Cardinals and Bishops have experienced their first pregnancies and their first labor pains and they've raised a couple of children on minimum wage, then I'll be glad to hear what they have to say about abortion. I'm sure it'll be interesting and enlightening. But, in the meantime, what they OUGHTA be doin' is tellin' these priests who took a vow of chastity to KEEP THEIR HANDS OFF THE ALTAR BOYS!! Keep your hands to yourself, father! When Jesus said "Suffer the little children, come unto me," THAT'S NOT WHAT HE WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!

So you know what I tell these anti-abortion people? I say "Hey, if you think a fetus is more important than a woman, try getting a fetus to wash the shitstains outta your underwear. For no pay, and no pension." I tell 'em "Think of an abortion as 'term limits.'" That's all it is: biological term limits.

I think it would be great if Satch could write something on the message board at least once each month. He hasn't written in since August....... Anyone else share my sentiment?

Yes, we all do. But hey, arent we good enough for you baby?

Here is a little surprise for all you T2J cd folks.