Oh man... I was just watching that Satriani-Timmons video-clip (if you don't have it, you can find it from Austin's (DoTheStu) page o' stuff) once again and I'm just as taken with it as every time I see it ! ! ! ! ! (they're playing "house full of bullets" from Joe's "crystal planet")

Joe: if (when) you take Andy with you and Steve on a G3-tour, please...please, make it happen in Europe, too. You don't even have to come here in Finland (which doesn't mean that you're not welcome...I'm sure you still remember what kind of atmosphere there was in Helsinki in the 18th of June this year!), but even if it would take place anywhere in Europe, I'd be there for sure!

What if Bush gave this speech . . .

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed. Since the Congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within thirty days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict.

This list is short: The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are just a few of the countries listed who stood shoulder to shoulder.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on "List Two" ceases immediately and indefinitely! The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraq war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call: China, France, Germany, Russia, etc.!

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.

On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try: China, France, or maybe Germany.

To Israel and the Palestinian Authority: Yo, boys! Work out a peace deal now! Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia.

Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest "chop shops" in the world. I love New York!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on "List 2." Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment! I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty -- starting now! We are tired of the one-way highway.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying, "Damn Right!"

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America.

To the nations on "List 1," a final thought. Thanks guys! We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on "List 2," a final thought. "Haste Lavita Baby!" God Bless America. Thank You and Good Night.

Got this one as well this morning . . .

We at Carnival Cruise Lines: didn't forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W.Bush were to be re-elected President.

With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who still want to keep their promise!

Attention: Would Alec Baldwin, Rosie O'Donnell and her wife, Ed Asner, Janeane Garafalo, Whoppi Goldberg, Al Franken, Michael Moore, Cher, Phil Donahue, Rob Reiner(apparently still a "meathead"), Barbara Streisand, Jane Fonda, Pierre Salinger, as well as the entire staffs of the LA and NY Times and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all US assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, "Elation," which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq.

The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a ! Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay... at least four more years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton as captain, Al Gore as cruise director, Grey Davis, Purser Terry Heinz Kerry hopefully will be kept somewhere below decks away from the media.

Monica Lewinsky as the "Cigar and Cigarette Girl",

Entertainment by the Dixie Chicks and Bruce Springsteen, John Kerry will be our Life Guard in consideration of his past experience in pulling people out of the water. (Unless he decides at the last minute not to go) He is advocating the ellimination of the game "shuffleboard" in favor of his new game he calls "waffleboard" Be sure to pack your flip flops as you will need them! while playing.

Ted Kennedy will double as Bartender and! Director of Emergency Procedures

Rev. Al Sharpton will provide inspirational services, and Ex-Congressman Gary Condit as intern coordinator.

If you have any questions about making arrangements for your homes,friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her village can raise your children while you're gone, and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

Zenfish,

jelly - Er, how do you know my borther?

bahduh, your son is beautiful! So tiny :) Again, best wishes to you and Samantha.

Noppa, I love ANTHRAX! See if you can find ANTHRAX - MUSIC OF MASS DESTRUCTION (cduniverse.com). It's a cd/DVD deal. Killer stuff! Also Live: The Island Years. Great band! Charlie is an amazing drummer.

my Anthrax SOTD - Nobody Knows Anything

just found mobile ringtones for Safe Home. lol! (no, I don't have them on my phone)

http://fvigotti.ringtone-logo-game.com/polyphonique.php?k=ANTHRAX

michelle

my favorite anthrax song is finale

the best lyrics are in it

"i drink 3 six packs just to look at your face, finale!"

michelle: Hello there, your Ladyship! Thank you for the tips! I also like Charlie Benantes style, a good drummer!

bahduh.....it looks like you have got yourself a beautiful family....congratulations !! We are expecting our daughter to arrive around March 5th....hopefully I'll be able to post pictures here soon afterwards.........peace.

Don't know if this will work or not -

http://www.liquidgeneration.com/quiz/halo2_quiz.asp

I was Brute :)

nandatinhtut, welcome to T2J! I hope you do manage to obtain the Is There Love In Space album soon, because it's really cool, I'm sure you'll love it!

By the way, Burma.....what a beautiful country!

Bahduh, what a beautiful family you have! Many blessings to all of you! Your son is very precious, and is such a gift!

Master Yoda, we LOVE Larry Carlton in our house too! Have you ever listened to Vinnie Moore? He is also excellent. Of course, Joe is #1 in our house and always will be!

Hello friends, good morning :-)) !! Í`m back from the recording of new BLISTER videoclip :-)). Great concert, great work :-)). Gonçalo Pereira played with a JS 2000 Champagne :-))) !!! What a beautiful guitar, i taked lots of photos :-)) !!!

962 - I forgot to answer you my friend, my apologies. I didn`t know that Nuno Bettencourt in the past was drummer. That it is the answer for the reason why he play so well drums :-)).

MICHELLE - Hello Baby, i`m ok :-)). And you?

BAHDUH - Congrats on the new baby, beautiful. Congrats to your wife aswell :-)). Regards for you :-)) !!!

MATT KING - Very nice song bro :-)) !!!

ADRINORB - Hello friend :-) !!!!

OPTICALSTUDIO - you are very kind :-)) !!!

SLANSHROOM - I`m ok bro. I can`t wait to hear more stuff from you :-)). Good luck for everything :-)). Good choose, Clarky rocks :-)) !!!

OLLYNO - Hello friend. I`ve been recording more songs for my first record :-). Thanks for asking friend :-).

DO THE STU - thanks for your attention on The waves of Life song :-)). Glad that you liked ;-) !!!

CUTHBERT - Happy birthday satch friend :-)) !!!!

OVATION1 - One more time, happy birthday Mikeyson :-)). It was so nice hear from you bro :-) but when i heard your daughter speaking Japanese, i thought: What can i say ?!??! :-)). You are a very cool guy indeed. Btw Clara will be mother. It`s a boy with the name of the father: Gonçalo Pereira Junior lolol :-)). Yesterday the concert was amazing and Mr. Roger Berg was very nice :-)). My girlfriend loved the band. The band is better live than in studio, but the new record is very cool ;-)) !!! Have a good weekend bro in family :-)) !!! GAMBATE ;-) !!!

JOE - HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND :-)) !!!

Friends, i wish you a great weekend, take care friends :-)) !!

hey, joe.

zinc master...that "what if bush made this speech"...well...some of it i agree with, some of it, i dont. sounds like a bush kinda speech "hey gang1 hows it goin'" in his sillyish texan american accent thingy..

steve t..it was 3 in guildford when i was down there for a few months at the same college as master yoda,. and also used to live just round the corner from him.

cheese101 - Yeah, I've heard Vinnie Moore; another great player. Although I must say I find it quite strange how you mentioned Vinnie Moore in the same context as Larry Carlton, since they're totally diiferent styles... lol