danny k
Dan Kokol Bradford, Ontario Canada Plays: Guitar (33 years)
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Hey T2J how's it going?? I've been neck deep learning new music for a couple of bands I'm working with right now + finishing up material for my cd :o) . I'm making a guest appearance this weekend (Sat Nov. 20th) with PANDAMONIA @ Club Rockit in Tronoto. So all T.O. area T2J'ers come on out !! It a Jagermister sponsored show so there'll be free Jager + prizes !!! I'll post more info on some happenings in my life later tonight
Danny K
Edited Fri Nov 19 '04 9:13 am
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:45:17 am
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ILoveThailand
Plays: Other
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On the Air
On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.
DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"
Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida
if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sara."
DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."
DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"
Brian: "About 10 minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever
have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"
Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."
DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up.
DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:46:19 am
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ILoveThailand
Plays: Other
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Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and
I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rules of 'Mate match'?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian: (laughing)
Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions,
Sarah.If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: "She saw?"
Sarah: "BRIAN?!"
Brian: "No, no I didn't..."
DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your
answer, please?"
Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."
Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."
DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"
Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass."
(long, long pause)
DJ: "We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors."
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:46:31 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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An old man goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"
The wife yells back to him,
"GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!."
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:48:40 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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jazzzzzzzy
I have seen that one before - it goes around every few months/years.
But - in Chicago there is no WBAM. WBAM is in Montgomery, Alabama.
There may have been one before in Chicago - but not in many many years.
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:52:45 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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THE LONE RANGER
The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After their tent was all set up, they fell sound asleep.
One hour later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, Kemo-Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says,
Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions
of galaxies and potentially millions of planets.
Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately
a quarter past three in the morning.
Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.
What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says,"Kemo-Sabe, you dumb ass. Someone stole tent."
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:54:10 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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Marriage
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding,he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing,boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not.
( SHE'S GOOD!)
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'
"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,"Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last."
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either, and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?
She says, "I was in bed.
In bed this early, doing what?
Getting a second opinion!
(YEP, HE HAD THAT COMING, TOO!)
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, Mother of Six in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Four.
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:55:38 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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A blonde came running up to her husband in the driveway as he came home from work just jumping for joy.. He didn't know why she was jumping for joy but thought, What the heck, And started jumping up and down with her. She said, "Honey, I have some really great news for you!"
He said, "Great, Tell me what you're so happy about!"
She stopped jumping and was breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, When she told him that she was pregnant!
He kissed her and told her, "That's great! I couldn't be happier!"
Then, She said, "Oh, honey, There's more!"
He asked, "What do you mean, 'More?'"
She said, "Well, we are not having just one Baby, We are going to have TWINS!"
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, He asked her how she knew.
She said, "Well, that was the easy part.
I went to Wal-Mart and bought the TWIN PACK home pregnancy test kit and BOTH tests came out Positive!!!
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:56:47 am
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Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
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Men strike back! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she
starts a sentence with "A man once told me.."
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Fri Nov 19 '04 6:58:06 am
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achoo
Tobias Barnes Chicago, Illinois United States Plays: Guitar (33 years)
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What's up everybody? How ya'll doin'? How yo mamanem?
Jazzzzy, you son of a bitch! You saw Mega twice? Im on my way to the Riviera now to go look for some scalpers. I called of of work because I don't know how long it will take me to find a tic. I hope I can. If I find one early enough, I can go into work. Only two blocks away. Wish me luck!
You commin to chicago tonight? Drop me an Email if you are.
Edited Fri Nov 19 '04 7:43 am
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Fri Nov 19 '04 7:36:07 am
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jelly man
Paul Huxley Guildford, Surrey England Plays: Bass (24 years)
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i just finished half-life 2... superb, superb game... i have very very little negative to say about it... anyone else got it yet? it's definitely worth it...
Looking forward to the webcast.... hooray for australian fans too!
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Fri Nov 19 '04 8:09:57 am
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DelfinoPie
Martin Phillips King Of Monsters Plays: Doctors & Nurses (
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Wish I was an Australia...
962 Recommendation: Play Halo 2 on system link up with mates...me and my mate set up two tv's yesterday, borrowed another mates hub, linked our two xboxs together and today we got round to playing Halo 2 on deathmatch.
Its excellent, if you turn the radar thing off then its so much fairer and it rocks loads.
Now I've got a massive table in the centre of my conservatory, a 3 seater couch one side, and a 2 seater on the other, with a relatively large TV on each end of the table....I got 5 mates coming round tonight as well to get it really going lol....
Delfino
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Fri Nov 19 '04 8:15:10 am
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Blue_Moon
Alan McKenna Dublin Ireland Plays: Guitar (23 years)
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hola 2 looks good i tihnk ill get it, But i wana get the new GTA first, halo on co-op is cool, i got stuck like 3/4 way thru in the first one and havnt played it in ages! but 2 looks cool
anyways! no one has the lil riff in i like thge rain........ i Suppose ill get it myself....... Hoping for a quick answer here tho :p
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Fri Nov 19 '04 9:15:01 am
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I have a yamaha
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Does any one know if joes doin any dates in the uk near nottingham or derby? Cos me and my friend badly want to see him. Any help would be appreciated.
-----------------------
I have a Yamaha \m/
Edited Fri Nov 19 '04 10:01 am
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Fri Nov 19 '04 9:59:44 am
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Noppa
Kimmo Taskinen Jyväskylä, Finland Plays: Drums (40 years)
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DoTheStu: ...good news about that Dixie Dregs DVD from the legendary 1978 Montreux Jazz Festival...there are 3 out of 4 live tunes which were released on album "Night of the living Dregs" + 8 unreleased ones!
...still, there were better (Great) news (for you) under that: "STEVE MORSE BAND / DIXIE DREGS TO TOUR IN JANUARY 2005!
Six dates in California and one in Arizona have been announced so far on the bands' upcoming tour in January 2005. Check out the dates here!" [there's a link (at his web page)...go check it out!] ...Fffuck! You'll have a double treat!! Why don't I live in the west coast of USA???
It has been the first chilly (not cold, but chilly) day of the beginning winter here in central Finland today: -13 degrees celsius = 10 degrees Fahrenheit. That's pretty ideal for winter outdoor activities. Not much snow yet though, less than inch ...sooo, I'll have to wait a bit before I can test that perversion of Jazzzzzy's ;-)
Edited Fri Nov 19 '04 11:18 am
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Fri Nov 19 '04 10:15:29 am
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962
Simon Granada, Andalucia Spain Plays: Guitar (24 years)
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Mr Nick, excellent, I'm pleased to hear that amigo! Man I'd really like to see a DTM race some time....those cars are so meaty! A 550bhp Mercedes CLK? Don't mind if I do! hehe
Shame to hear you got a Ferrari jacket, but I guess we can't all be Porsche fans. hehe j/k. Dude you should go to Lemans some day - it's awesome. Also, on model cars....that's cool man. I just finished making a 1/24 scale Porsche Carrera GT a week ago. It's really nice, completely accurate.
Steevee T, I wish I did own a 928s, but I don't own anything yet! I'm kinda hoping to aim at getting a 944 within a couple of years of getting my license!
michelle, I know that peeping toms feeling......I always find the same thing, if we have the window-cleaner here or someone like that....makes you feel uneasy! hehe
Yeah absolutely, I wonder how many people would march on a real issue?! I know a million people marched through London, against the War on Afghanistan/Iraq, but I bet none of them were fox-hunters!
Delfino, yeah, I wondered what was wrong with the guitarist they used on Halo 1?! I mean, whoever it was, they did a good enough job! It's weird, cause if you pick Vai to contribute to something, it's something prestigious. You know you're getting something unique, and special, so you probably want to highlight it.
The fact is, with Halo 2, the only mention he got was in the final, rolling credits - "Steve Vai appears courtesy of Epic Records" or Capitol Records, whoever it was. That really surprised me.
jazzzzzzy, that was hilarious, thanks for that dude!
Noppa, jesus! There were some people here getting real excited the other day, cause they recorded lowest temperatures of -4 celcius in Northern Scotland. -13 is most respectable!
Brother Al, I wish GTA San Andreas was out on x-box now! Gotta wait 6 months, but by all accounts, it's worth it! It sounds like the most awesome game. You have to eat regularly to stay fit, but if you eat too much you get fat. If you eat too little you turn skinny. If you smoke too much weed you can't run very far before you get outta breath. You get a girlfriend, and you have to keep her sweet by taking her out to dinner and buying her clothes and stuf. It's awesome, I can't wait!
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Fri Nov 19 '04 10:25:06 am
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DelfinoPie
Martin Phillips King Of Monsters Plays: Doctors & Nurses (
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962
"The fact is, with Halo 2, the only mention he got was in the final, rolling credits - "Steve Vai appears courtesy of Epic Records" or Capitol Records, whoever it was. That really surprised me."
I can't say that really suprised me, I know that to us "guitar-geeks" (meant in the most positive way) it is a massive deal and hearing it was great news. But to "normal" people it probably doesn't matter that much. I was however suprised that in the "making of:" dvd they didnt have a mention of him in the "audio" chapter.
Delfino
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Fri Nov 19 '04 10:35:57 am
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alexandrecaetano
Alexandre Caetano Caldas da Rainha, Estremadura Portugal Plays: Guitar (32 years)
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Hello great Satch friends :-)) !!! Good evening!!! I`ve been busy on work and the weather is very cold over here. Because that i got an infection on my right ear :-(.
962 - i didn`t know that Nuno was Drummer in the past. Thank for the info :-)). Btw did you liked my website? Let me know what do you think :-). Regards and have a good weekend :-).
JAZZZY - Lucky guy, Megadeth rocks indeed :-). Dave Mustaine is incredible :-). Congrats about the Backstage pass :-)).
ZENFISH - Good luck for the future about your plans bro :-). How are you?
OPTICALSTUDIO - Thanks for your very kind words about my music :-).
MICHELLE - Yeah, it was a nice experience hear Ovation1 :-). He is vey kind :-). A true Gentleman :-) !!! How are you sweetheart? It`s curious you like heavy and trash metal. I like that too :-)). Kisses for you and heva a good weekend baby. Hadji is fine. Sending gretting for your cats :-)).
BAHDUH - Hello Indian friend, i`m here friend :-). I`ve been busy and ill, but i never forget all of you :-). You are great friends for me :-). Thanks. How is going your baby ? Hope very well. Where you live in India, Calcuta? Have a good a good weekend friend and take care. Sending good vibes :-).
OCPS470 and DCK - Sending my best wishes for their hands. Sometimes i have a ball in a tendon, something strange but no pains. No problem to play happily ;-). Take care friends.
DO THE STU - Great news from Steve Morse, i can`t wait :-)).
SLANSHROOM - Good luck with the record bro :-). I can`t wait to hear new stuff :-). My best wishes :-) !!
WEBMASTER - Thanks by your updates and congrats to Australia and New Zeland :-) !!!! Regards for you Dear Jon Luini :-). Have a good weekend!!
Good weekend friends, all the best and i wish you a warm day tomorrow ;-). See you soon, later Alex.
Edited Fri Nov 19 '04 10:42 am
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Fri Nov 19 '04 10:41:40 am
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ILoveThailand
Plays: Other
1879 posts total | IP Logged
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tonight's gonna be a headbanging night!!!
Achoo, DUDE! I will try finding a ticket for you! I think one of my friends is going to back out! I will do my best and email you!
962, check yo email!
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Fri Nov 19 '04 11:08:22 am
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ILoveThailand
Plays: Other
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alexandre: for sure man, Megadeth rox my face off as much as Jesus! They will be touring europe so make sure you get some!
I think eskimo chicks like frozen dicks. hmm. I should move to alaska.
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Fri Nov 19 '04 11:13:46 am
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