Do The Stu

Bob and Patti are getting ready for bed. Patti is standing in front of a full-length mirror taking a hard look at herself.

"You know, dear," she says, "I look in the mirror, and I see an old woman. My face is all wrinkled, my boobs are barely above my waist, and my butt is hanging out a mile. I've got fat legs, and my arms are all flabby."

She turns to her husband and says, "Tell me something positive to make me feel better about myself."

Bob studies her intently for a moment, thinking about how to respond, then says in a soft, thoughtful voice, "Well..there's nothing wrong with your eyesight."

Listen, this is Satriani's website. Don't submit messages saying Satriani sucks, he lacks soul, Eddie is better..blah, blah blah. Whether you think Eddie is better or not it's your opinion. The "best" guitarist, is just a matter of opinion and it always will be. It is disrespectful to come on Satriani's website and talk him down. That's like going to a Bush site and talking about how great Kerry is. Eddie influenced many, Satriani influenced many, Hendrix influenced many, Clapton, Page...etc... you get the point. All we can really say and measure is, they are all greats, and have influenced many guitarists lives and at some point changed the way they have played.

Hello all... hope everyone is doing well.... midterms are finally over! YEAH... My best friend from michigan came out here to visit and we have been running around being tourists for the last week.... :) on our way to go snowboarding, should be fun, the first time this year...

Hope all in Satchland have a good day...

Jazzzzy - you will feel better soon, we all will.

Kerry Supporters Left to Deal With Blues

by MALCOLM RITTER, AP

NEW YORK - It's a long way from the Manhattan office of psychoanalyst Sherman Pheiffer to the Cambridge, Mass., practice of psychologist Jaine Darwin. But both are in blue states that voted heavily for John Kerry (news - web sites), and on the day he conceded, they heard plenty of distress about the election.

"My patients were incredulous, depressed, angry, very frightened," Pheiffer said. "Everyone talked about feeling frightened (about) the future of this country."

Darwin heard the same kinds of reactions. At the end of the campaign, Massachusetts Democrats "kind of let themselves hope Kerry would pull it out," she said, so patients felt "the roller coaster had crashed. I think we all had a little post-Red Sox magical thinking."

And among Kerry campaign volunteers, of course, the loss was still stinging the day after the concession.

"If I happened to be on a tranquilizer or Prozac, I would have to triple my dose," joked Sam Feldman, a 75-year-old retired businessman who lives on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts but who volunteered for Kerry in Florida.

Elizabeth Marshall, a volunteer at the Centre County Democrats headquarters in Pennsylvania, said people there showed "bereavement, almost. People feel that something they had, which was hope for imminent change, has been taken from them."

The good news, mental health experts say, is that most Kerry supporters will get over their disappointment on their own. In fact, maybe sooner than they think.

"Right now you've got them at the depths of their despair," said Daniel Gilbert, a Harvard psychologist who has studied voters' emotional reaction to elections. "They're not going to feel worse in a week. They're going to feel better."

In fact, Gilbert said, his work has shown that voters get over their election-day disappointments faster than they predict they will.

"They don't think they'll be over it in a month, but they will be," he said.

Even now, Pheiffer, Darwin and other mental health professionals said they weren't getting any new patients because of the Kerry defeat. And Dr. David Rissmiller, chairman of the psychiatry department at the University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey-School of Osteopathic Medicine, said there's been no election-related jump in calls at two New Jersey crisis centers he's familiar with.

Temporary sadness, anxiety and concern about the future are understandable responses among Kerry supporters, said Dr. Charles Goodstein, a psychiatrist at the New York University Medical Center.

So when is it time to call a mental health professional? "When something goes on longer than you're comfortable with, then talk to somebody," Darwin advised. "You don't have to have major depression to talk to somebody."

Healthy reactions to post-election disappointment include talking about it with others and becoming or remaining politically active, experts said.

"I think it's important to give yourself a little bit of time to grieve," said Mary McClanahan, a psychologist in State College, Pa., who volunteered along with Marshall at the local county Democratic headquarters.

She described herself as "incredibly disappointed" but also galvanized.

Her fellow volunteers felt the same way, she said. And for both civic and psychological reasons, she said, such people should re-invest that energy in politics.

"Whenever we suffer a disappointment, and there's a chance to have a future success experience and we don't take advantage of that, it leaves people with greater regrets in the long run," she said.

Do The Stu - Thanks for the reply!

Cookies was the only thing I could think of as well - just can't grasp why or how a power outage could reset just one - no other site we use them to access, was affected before or after the outage. And yeah, we keep the temp cache's clean.

jazzzzzzzy

Delfino, what's wrong with us? You say "that stuff really gets on my proverbial tits." and I say "I'd give my left nut for *insert whatever here*".

err, Then again, every once in a while my Grandpop would yell out "Oh my achin' ovaries!!"

Whats another name for a push-up bra?

Cuthbert - Disagree with you ? In a nice way. You and GGG are a bit too militant, for lack of a better word, for me. I'm not big into guns and hunting and I think that we need goverment. I believe that the goverment needs to ran like a business, where we are the share holders and there is a form of profit sharing. My wife's cousin is an officer in the army. He is a platoon sargent ? Anyway, he was telling me that when he orders supplies for the platoon he is not allowed to but things at a discount. He is obligated to buy the most expensive. The idea is that stimulates the economy. However, the also leads to the government paying high prices because of jackasses that are greedy. I've talked to some people about the streamling of the goverment. The whole thing could be done for a lot less, which would benifit everyone. We just passed an amendment here in Oregon that would mandate the state pay a person for the devaluation of their land due to a zone change. While I feel for the people, buying land is like playing the stock market. Sometimes you win...But most of all where do these people think this money is coming from!! Our taxes. So if we up the state spending, up go taxes or less funding for other thing. I don't get it. Sorry for the lack of thought flow. This was a stream and not a well thought out progression.

On another note I sent that Zero Energy link to one of my Physics profs. I had never heard of this before and some of the concepts were above my knowledge. I'll let you know what his thought are on it.

Jazzzy - When I think of the interior of the country I always think of this commercial for e-business where two farmers are in their trucks and one wants to sell some goods to another county and askes the other farmer "Have you ever been out of the county?" Funny as hell. I used to spend my summers in OK among the rednecks. Not fun. I really wonder what percentage of Americans have never left their county and what percentage of them do not live on the coast. By the way, I have a passport.

Michelle - I have never been East of the Mighty Miss'ppi. I have friends that keep trying to get me to go out there. Just hasn't happened. I am surprised that the crime rate is so high in a town that I would not consider as large. I looked up some stats and compared our two cities.

Population, Size(sq mi) , Med fam. income, unempy. rate
Reading, 83,000, 10 , $27,000, 9.2%
Beaverton, 80,000 , 17 , $60,000 , 3.3%

I think here is the reason for the high crime rate. That and I don't live in a very culturally diverse city either (75% white). I can see why you would want to live somewhere else. Tell your sister "GET OUT NOW!!" How much of this economic depression is caused by the down turn of the railroad system? Was this a town that was very dependent on the railroad for substanance? Just curious.

WebPage - I don't remember who's idea that was but I like it. It may be that it would be easier if we set a web page where people could post thir URLs . I know I have a hard time remembering everone that have a site with tunes on it. Doing it this way would be convenient for both the users and for the person handling the site. What are everyone's thoughts?

Mr Junkpile - Having been in Mexico all last week, Yes you do need a passport. I was asked more than a few times for mine. And I'm Mexican!!

Guitrnutt - Not only do th DVDs contribute more to the experience but they also offer a peek into how things are played. I don't know how many times I've watched a DVD and said "AAHH that how he does that."

Late Peeps

3 Wishes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

The blonde whimpers, "I wish my friends were still here."

3 Wishes

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island. One day, the three of them are walking along the beach and discover a magic lamp. They rub and rub, and sure enough, out pops a genie.

The genie says, "Since I can only grant three wishes, you may each have one."

The brunette says, "I've been stuck here for years. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I just want to go home."

POOF! The brunette gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

Then, the red head says, "I've been stuck here for years as well. I miss my family, my husband, and my life. I wish I could go home too."

POOF! The redhead gets her wish and she is returned to her family.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably.

The genie asks, "My dear, what's the matter?"

Yoda - we should have told him we have a spare ticket to the Clinton gig.. lmao..

I've simply not stopped playing it since I got it.... it's awesome..

I have none...lmao..

there is now coffee all over my monitor... lmao....

funny how people being serious can be funnier than the best jokes ever writen.. lmao..

I need to get the backing track into the studio and don't have internet access in there...

the track is really nice..... I have options... too many acually... lol..
If I get time I'll try to cut a few versions.... just see where it takes me...
I can here George Benson style solos in my head...
but I can also hear fusion..
but then.. all that is obvious...
maybe cross over a little more... full on dirt.. soaring notes and whammie abuse...

in fact... I have done.... and it sounds like crap... lmao..

I'm actually looking foward to hearing what you have to say about Malm once you've had a good crack at his stytle..

he has some nice ideas here and there too...

hoping not to offend anyone... but.. lol
as a player though....
personally I thought he was just a little one dimmensional..
it's as if slow = picking and fast = legato / tapping..
this is really restrictive...
a shame really because I think he's a pretty creative guy...
he has some nice ideas for the song as a whole and how the guitar should fit in there...

but then... if that's his style.. good luck to him...

New Rules For Employment

SICKNESS AND RELATED LEAVE: We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment.

BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, Relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases, where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done enough.

YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two weeks notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement.

RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''A'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:00 to 8:10, employees whose names begin with ''''''''''''''''B'''''''''''''''' will go from 8:10 to 8:20 and so on. If you''''''''''''''''re unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees'''''''''''''''' supervisors in writing must approve this exchange. In addition, there is now a strict 3-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, and the stall door will open.

PAYCHECK GUIDE: The following helpful guide has been prepared to help our employees better understand their paychecks:

Item Amount Gross pay $1,222.02 Income tax $244.40 Outgo tax $45.21 State tax $11.61 Interstate tax $61.10 County tax $6.11 City tax $12.22 Rural tax $4.44 Back tax $1.11 Front tax $1.16 Side tax $1.61 Up tax $1.08 Down tax $1.14 Tic-Tacs $1.98 Thumbtacks $3.93 Carpet tacks $0.98 Stadium tax $0.69 Flat tax $8.32 Surtax $2.23 Ma''''''''''''''''am tax $1.23 Corporate tax $2.60 Parking fee $5.00 F.I.C.A. $81.88 T.G.I.F. Fund $9.95 Life insurance $5.85 Health insurance $16.23 Dental insurance $4.50 Mental insurance $4.33 Disability $2.50 Ability $0.25 Liability $3.41 Coffee $6.85 Coffee Cups $66.51 Floor rental $16.85 Chair rental $0.32 Desk rental $4.32 Union dues $5.85 Union don''''''''''''''''ts $3.77 Cash advance $0.69 Cash retreats $121.35 Overtime $1.26 Undertime $54.83 Eastern time $9.00 Central time $8.00 Mountain time $7.00 Pacific time $6.00 Time Out $12.21 Oxygen $10.02 Water $16.54 Heat $51.42 Cool air $26.83 Hot air $20.00 Miscellaneous $113.29 Various $8.01 Sundry $12.09 ------- Net Take Home Pay $0.02

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternations, or input should be directed elsewhere.

Have a nice week.

Was Do the Stu there?

Three Sentenced for Golf With Prostitutes

NORCO, Calif. Nov 5, 2004 — Two golf course managers and a tournament organizer were sentenced to house arrest for hosting two competitions featuring prostitutes and strippers stationed along the putting greens.

Superior Court Judge Christian F. Thierbach chided the three for their "immoral and illegal actions" at the so-called girlie tournaments in spring 2002.

More than a dozen prostitutes and strippers, including a 16-year-old girl, set up tents and advertised their services on boards, officials said. About 160 golfers paid $200 apiece to play, though some showed up without their clubs, officials said.

Sheriff's deputies wearing camouflage raided the second tournament, detaining 90 golfers and 17 strippers and alleged prostitutes, along with golf course workers.

In a deal with prosecutors, she pleaded guilty to felony conspiracy to corrupt public morals and testified against Hidden Valley Golf Club general manager Jason Wood, 38, and his former assistant, Darren James Bollinger, 30. The pair pleaded guilty in July to the same charge.

All three were sentenced to 125 days of house arrest.

Cuthbert - I agree in the ability to do things as long as they don't hurt others. Un fourtunately, what hurts people is open to interpretation.

As for guns. I believe there a big difference between those that own rifles and those that own hand guns. I have many friend that hunt. I'm actually a damn good shot. Although I think shooting something from 400 yrd away is not hunting, but killing. I believe in the sport of hunting in which the animal has a chance. Use a bow or a knife if you are muy macho.

I am a firm believer in zoning. I believe that there needs to be more mixed use, but I don't want some guy to be able start up a junk yard next to my house.

Top 10 Funny Store Signs

1.Outside a muffler shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."

2.Outside a hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

3.On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman , and the 2nd one just left."

4.In a veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit ! Stay!"

5.At the electric company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."

6.On the door of a computer store: "Out for a quick byte."

7.In a restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."

8.Inside a bowling alley: "Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

9.In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

Diamondbacks dismiss Backman; name Melvin manager

PHOENIX (Ticker) - Four days after being hired as manager of the Arizona Diamondbacks, Wally Backman has been sacked due to his legal problems.

The team has scheduled a news conference for 1 p.m. EST to announce the firing of Backman and hiring of Bob Melvin.