{b} HEY JOE !!! {/b}

You Rock !!! i just wanted to say/ know if you are ever coming to Canada...or more specifically Ontario.... you should do a show in the Belleville / Kingston area i would love to see you live !!!!

Anyone else here tried Mozilla Firefox browser yet? I cannot seem to mark read messages in this browser. Anyone else with the same problem?

Did You Know...

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

(Now that's more like it!)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

(Wow!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.

(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.

(Creepy.)

(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.

("Honey, I'm home. What the...?!")

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.

(30 minutes... lucky pig... can you imagine???)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.

(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

(I still want to be a pig in my next life... quality over quantity!)

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

(Hmmmmmm..)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.

(OK, so that would be a good thing..)

A cat's urine glows under a black light.

(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed.

(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

(What about that Pig???)

The Navajo Woman

Susan was driving home from one of her teaching assignments in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.

As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.

The woman climbed into the car and Susan resumed driving.

After a bit of small talk, the Navajo woman noticed a bag on the seat next to Susan. "What in bag?" asked the woman.

Susan glanced at the bag and said "It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband."

The Navajo woman was silent for a moment.

Just Fred!

A local law enforcement officer stops a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit.

Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name.

"Fred," he replies.

Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it.

"Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name.. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades.

When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD.

After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS.

Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant. She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling, MD, DDS with VD.

Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling MD with VD.

Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD.

Then the VD took away my dingaling so now I'm just Fred."

There once was an Indian whose given name as "Onestone", so named because he had only one testicle.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone.

After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"

The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do.

Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away for many years. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!

What is the moral of this story? ' ' ' 'OH, 'Come on'...take a guess! ' Think about it ... ' ' ' (You're going to love this!) ' ' ' And the moral is .. ' ' '

cuthbert1776

That one has gone around a few times - each times I get a laugh out of it.

HAPPY 600 TO ME.

Wilmen

Hi Joe please read this !!!!!!!!!!!!! There is a company called Blach who I work for they do chrom ski helmets for Uvex I did my Ibanez in chrom it looks cool! We do different colors too if you want to check it out look at www.blach.de it's all in German. I can send you some photos if you like and it doesn't peel off my boss has it just right !!

GuitarsRule: Heavy Metal isn't dead! Glad to hear that. I went to your SoundClick -page and pressed the "all songs in one go (hi-fi)" -button when my wife interrupted me with 'something really important that happened...or almost happened today...or at least is about to happen someday...perhaps'. So the first tune went pass me (from the left), but when I heard the second one I thought: you shure have listened your Megadeaths! ...and that was before I had rolled the page down to see that it wasn't the 2nd song from up ("My Right Element"), but the 2nd from down ("Nuclear Rust (Megadeth tribute)") :-o (the songs loaded in reverse order to my Winamp) -> Good work!

You wanted to know what we people think about your new tune "Peace, harmony & Guitars" ...well, first of all: the name: interesting that the word harmony doesn't start with a capital...not very American/English style (haaa, you're from Sweden)...there is this weird habbit of writing every word starting with a capital or every word without a capital (I dunno if it's the will of the artists or the record companies? ...or is it just playing safe not to make misspellings? ...note: anybody please don't bother correcting my mistakes, for English isn't my mother tongue). Anyway, not doing so gives you more possibilities to really describe something on the title as means of expression. Then of course the song/tune should match the title. Does this one match? ...I find Peace on the theme (nice vibrato you have) ...harmony I hear with those two guitars on the first half of the tune ...and I do hear a lot of Guitars (with a capital): good timing, good rhytming (structurally), good tones (getting some nice variation on it with using different technics), good using of that...ummm...what the fuck ever is that stick called with what you can bend the strings...

...but, don't get too carried away ...here comes the (constructive, I hope) criticism: on some parts while hearing A LOT of Guitars, they didn't remind me about Peace...or harmony (speed and good style don't always fit in the same studio -> quit listening Yngwie) ...same thing with the drum programming: the bass drum is too restless on some peaceful parts (on the other hand it's delicious indeed in some parts!). This is a minor problem which you can easily solve by engaging a real drummer (not only meaning just any human, but somebody with good style)....