Mr Nick, you live 45 minutes away from Donnington? nice! Do you ever go check out any of the races there? don't tell me it's not your kind of thing.....I'd love to live that close to a decent circuit! hehe

I was a little disappointed at how little time you get to spend on earth, but the final missions are good. The special features are okay, tho it would have been nice to have just a little bit about Vai in there, like, why did they choose him for the guitar part?!

I'm very pleased to see that parliamant bit back. Fox hunting should have been banned along with public Hanging and drowning the witch, but it's been kept going just cause a few toffs (rich, upper class posh people) like to do it cause it's a jolly good sport.

fucking twats. I despise fox hunting. It's barbaric and pointless. I can understand controlling fox populations like they do with deer, but that can be done with a rifle.

I also get really annoyed by the damn countryside alliance. They make out that they're "the voice of the countryside". I live in the country and disagree with most of the things they stand for.

howdy everyone-- just a quickie update (more official announcement to come later), but i know you regular t2j-folks would want to know asap.

1- announcing the triumphant return of joe to down under! yup, after many years away, joe is going to be doing a series of shows in new zealand and australia in march of 2005. dates listed on the site now!

Woooo Whooooooo. New Tour Dates!

Santariani Claus is comin to town!!!!!!

Webmaster....when will Joe drop us a simple post?

962..let me see...i've seen the british touring cars twice and the german touring cars once at donington, i work at a go-kart track, i have a ferrari jacket, i have model cars (yes i admit it)...hmm..motorsport..not really my thing eh? ;) :P

steve t...i'd like to own a honda s2000, you got one for free for me?

Mr Nick, Actually, the Honda S2000 is relatively cheap ($25,000 used) compared to a Porsche 928S...I picked one up 2 years ago for about $2300.00 & threw tons of cash into it to try to restore it. It was a Euro model with this psychedelic pattern on the seats. I had to marry my mechanic!

The Honda payment would have been cheaper!

But, if I find one for free...I'll send it Fed Ex to ya!

YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Joe is going to New Zealand and Australia!!!!!

That makes me so happy!! Congrats to all the fans who've waited so long!

Bahduh, I am good. I just found out yesterday that I won't be needing nose surgery for my sinus problem. That's great news. I get lots of headaches and stuff. I have to try the meds she recommended, and hopefully they will work and things will improve.

civgeek, fox hunting is barbaric. Anybody that gets their jollies by doing it needs therapy, and lots of it.

Simon, "400,000 people marched cause 8,000 people may be out of jobs?" I wonder how many of those people would march for a REAL issue - like a cure for cancer or aids?

ugh, I have a couple of roofer guys right outside my windows. They're doing something next door, and have been there all week. I feel like I have peeping Toms all up in my bidness.

suzie2000

Now that makes more sense - safety first - why you do not work when it snows.

Our kids around here come by full size bus, walk or their parents drop them off.

Do The Stu

Exactly - stand back when an elephant has an upset stomach.

Russell Carpenter......are you saying that Joe's music would make good backround music for porno movies? lol....honestly though, I'd probably quit watching the movie and go play my guitar instead of with myself....LMAO !!

Jazzy.....try putting on some pants before you head out into the great outdoors....lol....freakin' funny dude ! There's nothing worse than a frozen "Shmekela"

Have a great day everyone !!!!

RECENT STUDY FOUND OUT WHICH DAYS MEN PREFER TO HAVE SEX. IT WAS FOUND THAT MEN PREFERRED TO ENGAGE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITY ON THE DAYS THAT STARTED WITH THE LETTER "T". EXAMPLES OF THOSE DAYS ARE AS FOLLOWS:

TUESDAY

THURSDAY

TODAY

TOMORROW

THANKSGIVING

THATURDAY

THUNDAY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A RECENT SURVEY WAS CONDUCTED ALSO TO DISCOVER WHY MEN GET OUT OF BED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. HERE ARE THE SURVEY RESULTS:

5% SAID IT WAS TO GET A GLASS OF WATER 12% SAID IT WAS TO GO TO THE BATHROOM 83% SAID IT WAS TO GO HOME ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE BEST FORM OF BIRTH CONTROL AFTER 50?

NUDITY

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GIRLFRIEND AND A WIFE?

ABOUT 45 LBS.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BOYFRIEND AND A HUSBAND?

ABOUT 45 MINUTES

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SOUTHERN ZOO AND A NORTHERN ZOO?

A SOUTHERN ZOO HAS A DESCRIPTION OF THE ANIMAL ON THE FRONT OF THE CAGE, ALONG WITH A RECIPE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A NORTHERN FAIRYTALE AND A SOUTHERN FAIRYTALE?

Flagg Of course I remember Jason Becker, I like his music very much, is a damn shame that he is sick, great inspirational artist he is. I love the songs Air and Altitudes, those songs are awesome.

another night of megadeth tonight!!!

megadave played Holy Wars! shit!

Mr nick: is that your car in the water?

damn, i didnt know van halen's why cant this be love is such a good song. Its really good.

On the Air

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match." The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers yes, he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando,Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: "Yes."

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her Mom is staying for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-in-law was in the shower at the Time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get his wife's work number and call her up.

DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo...do you know the rules of 'Mate match'?"

Sarah: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah.If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Get it Sarah?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "All right. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"

Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sarah: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"

Sarah: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much,Sarah?"

Sarah: "Well, it's just that my Mom is vacationing with us and..."

DJ: "She saw?"

Sarah: "BRIAN?!"

Brian: "No, no I didn't..."

DJ: "Ease up there, sister. Just messing' with your head. Your answer, please?"

Sara: "Dear Lord...I cannot believe you told them this."

Brian: "Come on, honey, it's for a free trip to Florida."

DJ: "Let's go, sister. We ain't got all day here. Where did you do it?"

Sarah: (short pause) "In the ass." (long, long pause)

An old man goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along.

When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."

The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?"

jazzzzzzzy

I have seen that one before - it goes around every few months/years.

But - in Chicago there is no WBAM. WBAM is in Montgomery, Alabama.

There may have been one before in Chicago - but not in many many years.

THE LONE RANGER

The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After their tent was all set up, they fell sound asleep.

One hour later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, Kemo-Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"

The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars." What that tell you?" asked Tonto.

The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute, then says, Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially millions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.

Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What's it tell you, Tonto?"