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wolf2

6365 posts total | IP Logged
Hey joe whats up! well man getting closer man today i have to go see the guy dr , about the slow pulse really he should probably tell me a need a pacemaker to tell my heart when to beat there cool man it,s part of canadas no mental equipment my pulse is like 48 man an d max of like62 were it should be 72 and 200 my last workout 2 yrs ago is still holding it at 48 55 is like an athletes puls i have to hurry before it keeps dropping oh yeah hey man i had some heavy dreams about you man you and your whole band were playing the tragically hip with vocals in this dream man . heavy hey next night dream of you again hmmmm friend shit subliminal guitar you win man i thought you might be smart enought to play a show that would make you dream out another tune cool man i thought of it but said wohhh thats way to hard cool dreams man you look good well off to the main man the dr.
Mon Jan 3 '05 10:38:23 am Set this message as last read

Ya Yo Gakk

534 posts total | IP Logged

MICHELLE- thats funny.... no one likes to talk politics w/ me cause i go way off the deep end with all kinds of conspiracy shit, it's funny... but hey you never know, the stuff could be true....

got a hold of the Ibanez 90th anniversary thing with andy timmons, paul gilbert and steve vai.... theres some awesome stuff they play..... all day, all night was hilarious... steve looked completely pissed off about his string being broke, it was tought to follow up the blitz of notes andy and paul blasted everyone with and steve's solo sucked in comparison....bummer

Happy New Year everyone.....joe....get well man

Edited Mon Jan 3 '05 11:50 am

Mon Jan 3 '05 11:24:24 am Set this message as last read

Bruno78180
RISLANI Bruno
MONTIGNY LE BRETONNHEUX,
FRANCE
Plays: Guitar (24 years)
2 posts total | IP Logged
Hello JOE I live in Paris and i love your music, you are the guitar's god When you come back in france for giving a concert ? Thank for your music
Mon Jan 3 '05 11:38:09 am Set this message as last read

Bruno78180
RISLANI Bruno
MONTIGNY LE BRETONNHEUX,
FRANCE
Plays: Guitar (24 years)
2 posts total | IP Logged
Happy new year
Mon Jan 3 '05 11:40:57 am Set this message as last read

serenade
seren eremre
istanbul,
Turkey
Plays: Guitar (21 years)
2 posts total | IP Logged
hey joe!!hola guys! does 'bamboo' have to be such wonderful ? ahh... joe!you're my best..get on well ok?bye!
Mon Jan 3 '05 11:45:20 am Set this message as last read

962
Simon
Granada, Andalucia
Spain
Plays: Guitar (24 years)
1714 posts total | IP Logged
jazzzzzy, dude, sorry to hear about the disappointment of the dorm you're in. And sharing with a rep' too! Apart from that, hows your new year going? hope it's all okay!
Steven Wilde, hey dude! Yeah I'm good thanks, it's my birthday today, YAY! hehe. Hows things with you bro? Mail me that soundclick stuff whenever you get a chance! Take it easy hombre!
Mon Jan 3 '05 11:46:25 am Set this message as last read

vini59
Vincent winnicki
Cambrai,
France
Plays: Guitar (32 years)
1 post total | IP Logged

Joe I hope you wil go to france in 2005, for you're new album. I't's been a long time since we've seen you in france... Is there any concert in France?

Vini59

Mon Jan 3 '05 11:48:09 am Set this message as last read

Tuisku
Tuisku Lehtola
jyväskylä, keski-suomi
finland
Plays: Guitar (25 years)
1 post total | IP Logged

hey joe! are you coming to finland in 2005? whole finland would be so happy... get well soon!

parane pian! (in finnish)

Tuisku

Mon Jan 3 '05 12:08:04 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Reasons 2005 Is Totally Going to Suck


Ashlee Simpson and Jessica Simpson continuing to enjoy stardom, while Lisa Simpson's soulful saxophone skills remain unheralded.

The post office's new "No Pants, No Stamps" policy.

The three new diet fads of 2005: insect smoothies, the Cat Food Diet and Dr. Phil's book "Naked Pictures of Me."

Dick Cheney's starting to smirk and raise his pinky to his mouth whenever someone mentions nuclear warfare.

Mon Jan 3 '05 12:30:11 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Amazing-but-True Facts!


In the weightlessness of space a frozen pea will explode if it comes in contact with Pepsi.

The increased electricity used by modern appliances is causing a shift in the Earth's magnetic field. By the year 2327, the North Pole will be located in mid-Kansas, while the South Pole will be just off the coast of East Africa.

The idea for "tribbles" in "Star Trek" came from gerbils, since some gerbils are actually born pregnant.

Male rhesus monkeys often hang from tree branches by their amazing prehensile penises.

Johnny Plessey batted .331 for the Cleveland Spiders in 1891, even though he spent the entire season batting with a rolled-up, lacquered copy of the Toledo Post-Dispatch.

Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.

The Boeing 747 is capable of flying upside-down if it weren't for the fact that the wings would shear off when trying to roll it over.

The trucking company Elvis Presley worked at as a young man was owned by Frank Sinatra.

The only golf course on the island of Tonga has 15 holes, and there's no penalty if a monkey steals your golf ball.

Legislation passed during WWI making it illegal to say "gesundheit" to a sneezer was never repealed.

Manatees possess vocal chords which give them the ability to speak like humans, but don't do so because they have no ears with which to hear the sound.

SCUBA divers cannot pass gas at depths of 33 feet or below.

Catfish are the only animals that naturally have an ODD number of whiskers.

Replying more than 100 times to the same piece of spam e-mail will overwhelm the sender's system and interfere with their ability to send any more spam.

Polar bears can eat as many as 86 penguins in a single sitting.

The first McDonald's restaurant opened for business in 1952 in Edinburgh, Scotland, and featured the McHaggis sandwich.

The Air Force's F-117 fighter uses aerodynamics discovered during research into how bumblebees fly.

You *can* get blood from a stone, but only if contains at least 17 percent bauxite.

Silly Putty was "discovered" as the residue left behind after the first latex condoms were produced. It's not widely publicized for obvious reasons.

Approximately one-sixth of your life is spent on Wednesdays.

The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.

The sport of jai alai originated from a game played by Incan priests who held cats by their tails and swung at leather balls. The cats would instinctively grab at the ball with their claws, thus enabling players to catch them.

A cat's purr has the same romance-enhancing frequency as the voice of singer Barry White.

The typewriter was invented by Hungarian immigrant Qwert Yuiop, who left his "signature" on the keyboard.

The volume of water that the Giant Sequoia tree consumes in a 24-hour period contains enough suspended minerals to pave 17.3 feet of a 4-lane concrete freeway.

King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe.

Because printed materials are being replaced by CD-ROM, microfiche and the Internet, libraries that previously sank into their foundations under the weight of their books are now in danger of collapsing in extremely high winds.

In 1843, a Parisian street mime got stuck in his imaginary box and consequently died of starvation.

Touch-tone telephone keypads were originally planned to have buttons for Police and Fire Departments, but they were replaced with * and # when the project was cancelled in favor of developing the 911 system.

Human saliva has a boiling point three times that of regular water.

Calvin, of the "Calvin and Hobbes" comic strip, was patterned after President Calvin Coolidge, who had a pet tiger as a boy.

Mon Jan 3 '05 12:31:43 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Even More Amazing Facts


Watching an hour-long soap opera burns more calories than watching a three-hour baseball game.

Until 1978, Camel cigarettes contained minute particles of real camels.

You can actually sharpen the blades on a pencil sharpener by wrapping your pencils in aluminum foil before inserting them.

To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.

Seven out of every ten hockey-playing Canadians will lose a tooth during a game. For Canadians who don't play hockey, that figure drops to five out of ten.

A dog's naked behind leaves absolutely no bacteria when pressed against carpet.

A team of University of Virginia researchers released a study promoting the practice of picking one's nose, claiming that the health benefits of keeping nasal passages free from infectious blockages far outweigh the negative social connotations.

Among items left behind at Osama bin Laden's headquarters in Afghanistan were 27 issues of Mad Magazine. Al Qaeda members have admitted that bin Laden is reportedly an avid reader.

Urine from male cape water buffaloes is so flammable that some tribes use it for lantern fuel.

At the first World Cup championship in Uruguay, 1930, the soccer balls were actually monkey skulls wrapped in paper and leather.

Every Labrador retriever dreams about bananas.

If you put a bee in a film canister for two hours, it will go blind and leave behind its weight in honey.

Due to the angle at which the optic nerve enters the brain, staring at a blue surface during sex greatly increases the intensity of orgasms.

Never hold your nose and cover your mouth when sneezing, as it can blow out your eyeballs.

Centuries ago, purchasing real estate often required having one or more limbs amputated in order to prevent the purchaser from running away to avoid repayment of the loan. Hence an expensive purchase was said to cost "an arm and a leg."

When Mahatma Gandhi died, an autopsy revealed five gold Krugerrands in his small intestine.

Aardvarks are allergic to radishes, but only during summer months.

Coca-Cola was the favored drink of Pharaoh Ramses. An inscription found in his tomb, when translated, was found to be almost identical to the recipe used today.

If you part your hair on the right side, you were born to be carnivorous. If you part it on the left, your physical and psychological make-up is that of a vegetarian.

When immersed in liquid, a dead sparrow will make a sound like a crying baby.

In WWII the US military planned to airdrop over France propaganda in the form of Playboy magazine, with coded messages hidden in the models' turn-ons and turn-offs. The plan was scrapped because of a staple shortage due to rationing of metal.

Although difficult, it's possible to start a fire by rapidly rubbing together two Cool Ranch Doritos.

Napoleon's favorite type of wood was knotty chestnut.

The world's smartest pig, owned by a mathematics teacher in Madison, WI, memorized the multiplication tables up to 12.

Due to the natural "momentum" of the ocean, saltwater fish cannot swim backwards.

In ancient Greece, children of wealthy families were dipped in olive oil at birth to keep them hairless throughout their lives.

It is nearly three miles farther to fly from Amarillo, Texas to Louisville, Kentucky than it is to return from Louisville to Amarillo.

The "nine lives" attributed to cats is probably due to their having nine primary whiskers.

The original inspiration for Barbie dolls comes from dolls developed by German propagandists in the late 1930s to impress young girls with the ideal notions of Aryan features. The proportions for Barbie were actually based on those of Eva Braun.

The Venezuelan brown bat can detect and dodge individual raindrops in mid-flight, arriving safely back at his cave completely dry.

Mon Jan 3 '05 12:32:05 pm Set this message as last read

Ignatz King

1 post total | IP Logged
Hey Joe, I'm a long time fan, new to this site. Hope your on the mend. The reason I'm writing is I have an idea that is prefect for you and your the only you can blow it out. I think you should do a concept CD on the Planets. Give a turn to Holst and do nine tracks maybe starting with a small interval speedfest for Mercury, then something sultry for Venus, some pentatonics for the Blue Planet and on up to some nice ice chords for Pluto. I can't think of anyone but you who has the compositional and palying ability to really make it something. And it fits prefect with your marketing. I hope you like my idea. Thanks Ignatz
Mon Jan 3 '05 1:02:46 pm Set this message as last read

venom02
barry becker
millersburg, MI
USA
Plays: Guitar (2024 years)
1 post total | IP Logged

Dear, Joe hello, I gess it's kind of strange talking to a guitar hero, but anyways I'm trying to start my own band and I'm writing you for some advice about how to start one. I want to be like you, a guitar hero a maater at playing the guitar. so please reply. I need all the help I can get.

your fan, barry

Mon Jan 3 '05 1:27:24 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

The Top 16 Signs Your Cat is Overweight


Cat door retro-fitted with garage door opener.

Confused guests constantly mistaking her for beanbag chair.

Always lands on her spleen.

Fewer calls to the fire department, but a sudden upsurge in broken branches.

Fifteen month gestation period, and still no kittens.

No longer cleans itself unless coated in Cheese Whiz.

Anna Nicole Smith fits through your kitty door without the aid of lubricants.

Catfood dish replaced with Rush Limbaugh trough.

Luxurious, shiny black fur replaced with mint green polyester pants suit.

It's no longer safe to lift him without a spotter.

"Steals breath" from all five quintuplets, simultaneously.

Larry King keeps trying to kiss it full on the lips.

Waits for the third bowl of food to get finicky.

He only catches mice that get trapped in his gravitational pull.

Enormous gut keeps your hardwood floors freshly buffed.

and the Number 1 Sign Your Cat is Overweight...

Has more chins than lives.

Mon Jan 3 '05 1:38:07 pm Set this message as last read

silent_shady

953 posts total | IP Logged
First post. Any advice on what not to do? and why is the chatroom always empty?
Mon Jan 3 '05 1:40:53 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

silent_shady

Welcome to the site.

Rule one - do not ask what not to do (just kidding).

Mon Jan 3 '05 1:54:06 pm Set this message as last read

shell

82 posts total | IP Logged
Hi Joe, Hi fans. Its been a long time since I posted here, & sorry don't have time to read all the posts! Greetings to anyone who remembers me: Clarky, Barry. PhyrDom, jblaze..anyone else..& HAPPY NEW YEAR to you all. Joe, sorry to hear about your illness. Hope you are resting & getting well. I have a little story to tell: I spent 5 days after Christmas at our Buddhist centre in Trets, in the South of France. No TV, no papers, no radio. We knew about the tragedy, but not the extent. The shocking stories I read on the way home made me weep, and thank God that my daughter & her boyfriend had returned safely from India 2 weeks before. Anyway, while at Trets, as well as chanting for World Peace and discussing Buddhahood, we always manage to have an evening of entertainments, and there is always an assortment of talented people. I took my guitar, and had decided a while back that I really wanted to perform "I Believe" as I think it is the most beautiful song with words that you have written. Also, the words seem to be very appropriate both to the theme of the course and also to the current world situation. Particularly the words of the chorus are so powerful: "I believe we can change anything, I believe we can rise above this"..etc. Luckily I met another guitarist there who agreed to do the song with me, and we practiced for 3 days before performing it on New Years Day. The audience of 150 Buddhists were spellbound. So many people came up to me afterwards and said.."that's such a beautiful song, did you write it?" "Unfortunately, no." I replied, " I wish I had!" "Who wrote it?" "Joe Satriani". "Joe who?" "Joe Satriani, best guitarist in the world" "Hmm, never heard of him. What album is it from?" "Flying in a Blue Dream" "Where can I buy it?" "Well, any decent music store......." "OK, write it down for me...." That converstaion was repeated dozens of times......so if there's a run of orders for FIABD you will know why! I was so happy that I brought Joe Satriani to that beautiful peaceful place in the mountains, where the sun shone and the air was clean, and that I introduced a few more people to your music. Maybe one day you will visit there in person. Thankyou for the music which just carries on and gets better each year. Please be well & stay safe. Best wishes to all fans for 2005. Till next time.
Mon Jan 3 '05 1:58:36 pm Set this message as last read

guita_prodogey09

1 post total | IP Logged
Who u need for G3 2005 is satriani,vai,malmsteen(if hands r ok),pettrucci,and the guy from symphony X
Mon Jan 3 '05 2:00:51 pm Set this message as last read

silent_shady

953 posts total | IP Logged
Zinc Master that was very helpfull if anyone is online and has time to kill come in the chatroom, it's 11 pm and I've learned my lesson after the 3rd time cops came knockin' at my door to tell me to keep it down.
Mon Jan 3 '05 2:04:32 pm Set this message as last read

Virtuoz

8 posts total | IP Logged
GET WELL SOON JOE!!! That's all your fans in Brazil are praying for!!! I hope you can show all your magic soon!!!
Mon Jan 3 '05 2:13:11 pm Set this message as last read

Blue_Moon
Alan McKenna
Dublin
Ireland
Plays: Guitar (23 years)
6317 posts total | IP Logged
well well!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Hey anyone know much about drum machines!?
Mon Jan 3 '05 2:32:39 pm Set this message as last read

ibenezmike

132 posts total | IP Logged
hey bro al itssss uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu lol
Mon Jan 3 '05 2:35:00 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

silent_shady


I try to be helpful around here; and sometimes, just a little annoying.

Mon Jan 3 '05 2:35:46 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Brother al

I know they are machines that sound like drums.

Does that help?

Mon Jan 3 '05 2:36:16 pm Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Selig Approves Johnson Trade to Yankees

Randy Johnson moved a step closer to joining the Yankees when commissioner Bud Selig approved a proposed trade between Arizona and New York, The Associated Press learned Monday.

Mon Jan 3 '05 2:38:10 pm Set this message as last read
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