mjs99 BigBunny......you gotta get the pic of you and Joe holding your pic. I gota see the smile on your faces when he gets it.

that's a good idea man :) i should have the painting ready for him to see (out of the tube) & try and get a photo :)

maybe i shouldn't take my acoustic guitar then? it might just be one more thing to carry around & bother Joe with?

:) BigBunny.. . . . . .. ....

webmaster would you be able to update my painting in the Photo section for me? that's the one i'm hoping to give to Joe on Tuesday - it's the one with Australia in the background :)

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian.

The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.

While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back.He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend,come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. Youre now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."................

REDNECK CHALLENGE

I am sick and tired of hearing about how dumb people are in the south. I challenge any so-called smart Yankee to take this exam:

1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10 pound possum.

2. Which of these cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? (A) '65 Ford Fairlane (B) '69 Chevrolet Chevelle, or (C) '64 Pontiac GTO.

3. If your uncle builds a still that operates at a capacity of 20 gallons of shine produced per hour, how many car radiators are required to condense the product?

4. A woodcutter has a chainsaw that operates at 2700 RPM. The density of pine trees in the plot to be harvested is 470 per acre. The plot is 2.3 acres in size. The average tree diameter is 14 inches. How many Budweisers will be drunk before the trees are cut down?

5. If every old refrigerator in the state vented a charge of R-12 simultaneously, what would be the percentage decrease in the ozone layer?

6. A front porch is constructed of 2x8 pine on 24-inch centers with a field rock foundation. The span is 8 feet and the porch length is 16 feet The porch floor is 1-inch rough sawn pine. When the porch collapses, how many hound dogs will be killed?

7. A man owns a Tennessee house and 3.7 acres of land in a hollow with an average slope of 15%. The man has five children. Can each of his grown children place a mobile home on the man's land and still have enough property for their electric appliances to sit out front?

8. A 2-ton truck is overloaded and proceeding 900 yards down a steep slope on a secondary road at 45 MPH. The brakes fail. Given average traffic conditions on secondary roads, what is the probability that it will strike a vehicle with a muffler?

9. A coalmine operates a NFPA Class 1, Division 2 Hazardous Area. The mine employs 120 miners per shift. A gas warning is issued at the beginning of the 3rd shift. How many cartons of unfiltered Camels will be smoked during the shift?

10. At a reduction in the gene pool variability rate of 7.5% per generation, how long will it take a town that has been bypassed by the Interstate to breed a country-western singer?

Things on Robert Blake's To-Do List

5> Call networks, pitch "crime-solving golf buddies" sit-com co-starring O.J.

4> 9:00 -- Retrieve gun left at restaurant.

10:00 -- Retrieve hatchet left at gas station.

11:00 -- Retrieve chainsaw left at grocery store.

Noon -- Retrieve flame-thrower left at Bed, Bath and Beyond.

3> Call Scott Peterson. Ask if he wants to go grab a beer, then say, "Oh, wait -- you LOST your case. Never mind." Laugh maniacally and hang up.

2> See if inexplicable good luck extends to getting Paris Hilton to polish my knob.

and the Number 1 Thing on Robert Blake's To-Do List...

An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave & fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. Again, he fell flat on his face. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom.

When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"

Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"

alexandre: I wish I could send you a bottle of water from here...you can sprinkle it on yourself an feel like it's rainy weather again! take care bro!

michele: I was super hammered last night....which made me irish. lol

962: yo man, i hope trutina is doing fine. thats all.

joesux: at least you got an autograph from joe.....there are millions of joe fans who probably will never have the fortune of seeing joe or even getting an in store experience.

MARI - I am at the 11pm show. That the one ur at?

I have to say, well i dont HAVE to, but will, I am disappointed that Eric Sardinas will be there with his Dire Straits guitar. I think he sucks - and I am pretty tollerant. There is no way he should be on a world stage. He cheats in his play so much it bugs me. He seems to be trying to get a name and further his career, cant blame him for that, but he just isn't good enough to be on a world stage like that. I doubt Mr Vai's judgment on that one. Can't wait to see Steve though (and more particularly Tony McAlpine!!).

Jazzzzy - I have actually never had to sue anyone - I just threaten them and they usually cave in! But, its simple enough once you get the court structure straight and file the correct papers at the respective court. Notices, pleadings, answers, motions, replies.

Keniko- I really feel Bad, I would LOVE to Experiance some Of Your Music! But the blue, Loadline, On My computer Like only goes Hlafway, Then literally stop's. Very frustrating. I am really Sorry that I cant hear Your Music :-( I do hope to be getting off of Dial-up, and Get My broadband. I am sure You are A Fantastic Musican, and A Very Cool Guy, From Your post's! Thank's for the well wishes! Hang in there. And You Have A great Day also! :-) Feel free to E-mail Me, Anytime! I Have been A Fan of Joe's since 86' My Favorite tunes are- All of themLOL, No really I have A Lot of them. Okay bro' Have a great Day.

Maybe this Day is turning around a Little,

Sold 4 tune's on Rasphody. Off of My "one step" album.

Life dose not Suck, Either. Just Day's are weirder than Other's and One begin's to gripe. I am really Blessed, And Have great Freind's, And can play a few chord's on The Guitar. And so many thing's to be thankful for.

Hope Evreyone is doin' well, God Bless

cuthbert: thanks a lot. you have a good one too!

fablawyer: man, that law class is insane. my problems are the cases...standing to sue and strict scrutiny and all that language.

unmmble: hi man, how are you ?

Hi everyone, hope you're all doing ok. I have to go to a staff do this evening, a wine-tasting thing... hmm hope it's not too bad! My husband is coming with me thank God!

satan satan satan

har har har!!!!!

Jazzzzzy - Its pretty straightforward once you grasp it. Only really 3 tests with burdens of proof on govt. or the individual. I know what you mean though, weak rational basis tests, strict scrutiny, govt. interest analysis etc. Remember though, every state is slightly different with its tests too!

I've been away from this site for a few months and just came back this week, I knew before that if you miss like 2 or 3 days you got pages to go through, there are soooo much more people now, I was posting some stuff on here last night at around 7 or 8 at night, back today at about 2:15, I had (would have had if I read them all) like 7 pages to go through! Impossible to keep up with even overnight now!?! I use to never really post that much at all, just a few questions or whatever at random, finally starting to post a bit more. I've been here for a while, still see a few people that have been here for a while too, but there are sooo many newcomers, never ending! Goes to show you, Satch is rockin' the whole world, probably even space. Don't think my low # of posts means I'm sorta new, I'm not. I'll have some more posting to do later.

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh! my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ....... and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with al! the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies........."

Wait for it... (scroll down)

It's coming...

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

She says:

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to start a conversation.

Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man.

He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.

"Oh! my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you," she says.

They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap ....... and stay for breakfast.

They have a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with al! the trimmings.

The guy is amazed!! Everything has been SO incredible!!!!

"You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?"

"No," she replies........."

Wait for it... (scroll down)

It's coming...

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

She says:

oops..double post... i'm way behind on posts...anything exciting happen? everyone OK?

spring is sunday!! YAYYY!!!!!

clarky: yer funny...(comment to joesux) lol..

slanshroom: twat..lmao..havent heard that one in a while..love it..

michelle: lmao...sounds a tad southern to me....i can see it now, some chick sayin...wanna see my tassie..lmao

js22: my suggestion for your baseball song is midway creatures, vai..good song...starts out nice and strong, kinda sexy so maybe you'll get some ladies...lmao...