Good to see ya Paul.... Rock-on bro, and we'll see ya next trip to Japan....

hi joe i am siddhartha i am from kolkata.india.i went to see ur show at Rabindra Sarobar stadium grounds.u are amazing. have got all your albums.and some of your audios.but i am not getting your new album anywhere.do u know u r a god to me. i always pray for u.there is no other god in this universe other than u.i am true fan of yours.i am really lucky to get a membership at ur site.and i thank the crew members of satriani.com.thanks pal.hey sir pls give me reply soon.i am waiting for your answer soon and eagerly.pls do more shows in kolkata.pleeeeaaseee.

SlickPotatoHead...... Thanks for signing the guest book. Did you get a chance to hear any of the tunes?

962...nice work on the cavity...looks fine!

mikesb...a couple of decibels lower would have been easier..and I use headphones everyday to practice...

ronnie...thanks for the CD too short comment...appreciate it!

SLICKPOTATOHEAD- I love "Crossroads"- also still have the soundtrack on LP! Yep the Vai recording at the Astoria was great! I haven't actually been to the Astoria for years, quite a dark and dingy place if I remember rightly, saw Jane's Addiction play there years back!!

DEATHCUBE- Yep, funny enough it's probably set up better now than it was in the first place before some foolish clod broke it's poor neck! :-)

BAHDUH- Unfortunately I don't have Steven's phone number or would ring him- guess I'll just have to wait til he's able to email again to speak to him. :-) I would appreciate it if you could tell him that Matt and I are often wondering how he is, and if he's any better. Thanks for the Happy 900th btw!

Been away from work a few days, so have several funnies from my work buddy to share:

#1: The Bet Bob, a handsome guy, walked into a sports bar at 9:58 p.m. He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The 10 Oclock news came on and the news crew was covering a story of a man on the ledge of a tall building who was preparing to jump. The blonde looked at Bob and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" Bob said, "Yes I do.. I bet he'll jump." The blonde said, "Well, I bet he won't." Bob placed 20 dollars on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building. The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 dollars to Bob, saying "Fair's fair. Here's your money." Bob said, "I can't take your money. I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump." The blonde said, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again." Bob took the money..

#2: 7 reasons not to mess with children A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to reat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was rying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."

#3: A redneck drives into town on a hot blistering day with

his dog. He gets out of his truck and ties the dog under

the shade of a tree by the curb and the redneck goes into

the bar for a cold beer.

About 20 minutes later a policeman comes in and asks

who owns the dog tied under the tree. The redneck

cowboy tells him that its his.

The police an says, "Your dog is in heat". The redneck cowboy answers, "No way the dogs in heat. He's cool,

cause he's tied under the shade of the tree".

The policeman says, "No, you don't understand, your

dog needs to be bred".

The redneck cowboy shakes his head and says, "No way

the dog needs bread, he's not hungry, I gave him beef

jerky this morning".

The policeman finally gets mad and says, "Look, your

dog wants to have sex".

The redneck cowboy looks at him and says "OK, go ahead,

I always wanted a police dog.

and finally:

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks, Troubled User.. (KEEP READING)

_____________________________________ REPLY: Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck, Tech Support

Stevee T, thanks. making the routing jig was a real pig. Normally, if you're making a guitar body from scratch, you'll have a square blank (2-piece or 3-piece with thru-neck) with the body mapped out on it. This leaves spaces outside the area of the body which you can happily fill with holes for screwing routing jigs onto, and then cut off when you're done.

but, because the body on my guitar was finished, I had to make a jig that would be stable without fixing it to the body with screws. I ended up making a routing jig that had a rectangular plug on the bottom, exactly the size of the humbucker cavity by the bridge, and slotted it into there! All out of MDF! haha.

cheese 101..... I love the tech support story. I was laughing my ass off. Two classics in one day. God I love this site.

michelle..... This sounds like something you would make up. I still love Big Bird with a dust pan. That's beautiful. For me I don't think anyone will top that. Take care......

Keniko: Yea i listened to the SRV song, its all i had time for but ill go back, sounded awesome man!!

Bad Horse: I was in quite a heavy going band, but we split up, so now im sort of in and out various bands, in the meantime just working on solo stuff! just wrote a spanish song!

Hi people how is you all doin? I am good.

Hello Satchland.

Just thought I would drop in and say hi. Keeping busy these days I have been. studious I am in these hours and days leading up to my final highschool exams of my life. I am kinda nervous but meh I am ready to own them all lol.

Well people I have to go now but talk to you all Later. Bye.

hey satriani, all i really want to say is thanks i supose, thanks to ur influence ive been able to play what has been in my mind that has been waiting to come out for a long time. id love 2 play u this one song i wrote cos to me it means so much,like only i understand what the song feels r sumtin but when people here it they dont like it and dont understand or appreciate it,id just love to know what u think of it. i just use 1 guitar with a long delay effect,clean sound. anyway, thanks.