Subject: Hollywood Squares
If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes.
These great questions and answers are from the days
when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were
spontaneous and clever. Peter Marshall was the host
asking the questions, of course.
Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads
under water long enough.
Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at
least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking
should do it.
Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000
years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way
sometimes.
Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep.
Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me
awake.
Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a
party and you think that he is attractive, is it
okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as
you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words
to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a
pineapple and a twenty.
Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't
Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming
from the next apartment.
Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more
or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old
question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll
never forget.
Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too
easily.
Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow
strawberries. Are you going to get any during the
first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy
growing strawberries.
Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two
subjects at nudist camps - One is politics, what is
the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom
or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always
safe in the bedroom.