Woman goes to see the doctor

Says, every time i take my pants off i can hear 'is this the way to amarillo'.

tnx chelle. this place seems to be growing on me. getting better all the time.

Good Morning Satchland..... How are we today?

I agree with Stevee T and Michelle. The heat wave is over...... a cold front has hit Chicago. It's going to be in the 50's at night....what a relief. Sun. it was 102. WHEW ! ! ! !

On a sad note...... I have a confession. I'm the cause of the heat wave / drout. Remember that planter I told you guys about I made where I made this little pool to collect my sump water and then slowly drains into the planter? Well ever since it's completion. Guess what? no rain for 60 days. I'm terribly sorry... I had no idea. Also.... to make matters worse. I tore all the dead grass out of my front lawn and planted grass seed and fertilizer. You guessed it . No rain. I appoligize for this. Between the heat and birds eating my grass seed..... no lawn. The good news is I've idenified the birds. They're easy to spot 'cause the have a little stem of my grass sticking out of there ass. lol......

Hi Joe !!! Check this guy out http://www.vaccaro.ca/ . He is an unbelievable undiscovered talent ! He plays like Stanely Jordon , Yourself , Malmsteen , VHalen, Sebastian Bach all rolled into one person. He sounds like 2 guitar players. He just released his debute CD & DVD which I just ordered after seeing him preform in Toronto last night at the Hard Rock Cafe. Check out his video clips @ http://www.vaccaro.ca/EVOLUTION_CD_DVD.htm check out the song Violins . He is the next great guitar player on the planet that has crafted his talent to the next level. I would love to see him on your next G3 !!!!

Any chance of an all acoustic CD?

DCK, you shoulda fixed your hearing BEFORE judging the T2J2 submissions!!!!

I Joe I'like to have some answers to my questions I,m think about buying new gear to upgrade my setup and it seem the question to ask is : analog(tube) or digital i already own a ibanez js-1000 bp model guitar/ marshall 1922 2 x 12 (2x) /dunlop wah 535Q/ fender pedal tuner PT-100 /PC running Sonar 4.0 Producer Edition Should i buy Line6 POD XT LIVE (digital ???) or go with analog rackmounts (either Marshall JMP-1 or Tech-21 PSA-1) And Lexicon or Eventide for Effects I hope you can give me some advise about the Digital versus Analog Question thank you very much big fan from Montreal Canada

A man walks into a dentist's office and says "Excuse me, can you help me. I think I'm a moth."

Dentist says "You don't need a dentist. You need a physchiatrist."

Man says "Yes, I know."

Dentist says "So why did you come in here?"

Ronnie/Roy...Great news bout CD Baby...many happy sales!!

michelle...yes...today was a beauty, and the night is a winner too!

Keniko...enjoy the cool...look's like we'll have it fer bout' 5 daze....

mikesb....sup?

dck...glad to hear your ears are gettin' better!

Howzit' goin' joe,

I'd like to start by saying, that I'm afan of yours and have been since surfing came out.My favorite satch tune is "Memories, from Dreaming #11,fantastic. I have only a few questions concerning your thoughts on another musician( an ACE GUITARIST) like yourself,Tommy Bolin. You were both a member of Deep Purple for a short time,your insights, please, on Deep Purple Mark4. What do you think of Tommy's playing on Billy Cobham's debut solo album "Spectrum"? What is your favorite Bolin riff or song? Have you heard any of the latest Tommy Bolin Archive releases? Are there any releases of Deep Purple "Live w/ Joe Satriani", if there is how may I obtain a copy? Greg Kihn "Live w/ Joe Satriani" Kicks-Ass! Thank you Joe for your time in doing this and I can't wait to hear your future releases.

thanks, metalrich

Hello to everyone, hope that you are all well and enjoying the week... just thought that I would drop by and tell you about two amazing shows that I was fortunate enough to see... the first was Dredg last night at the bluebird theater, awesome show, followed by aftershow passes in which we were able to meet the band and discoved the lead singer is from the azore islands in portugal :) the portuguese reunite in denver... and the second show was a suprise performance at the legendary Red Rocks Amphitheater... Those who were lucky enough to be there were treated to the amazing accoustic sounds of ALEXANDRE CAETANO... there were several blues songs played as well as some original material... the show stopper though was when he raised the guitar to his mouth and played with his teeth... the audience were left wanting more and were very appreciative of this impromtou performance and made sure to express their appreciation after the show...

Alexandre made it to denver tuesday and I have had a lot of fun showing him around the denver area... actually even took him to cheyenne wyoming to see the frontier days festival and a rodeo...explored downtown denver and then out to dinner tonight where we had buffalo, elk, and rattlesnake... :) nice to be able to show him around and even better to listen to him play the guitar in my living room!!!

anyway, hope that all in satchland have a good night and an even better day tomorrow...

hello one and all ,,,have a nice day.....take care and god bless... tracie ,,thanks for the mail....pls say hi to chris....

peace everybody..

btw,,,,so glad to know about the latest development in relation to the IRA,,,,,some peace perhaps ..there is always hope except for some assholes who are called the mujahideens...fiyadeens....... fuck terrorism.!!!!!!!

darn i hate drum loops

joe , when u wright new songs , do ever get like a really cool rythem section then struggle for a few hours trying to figure something out for the lead? man that pisses me off when it happens, I usually have to force myself to stop writting go away and come back later.. like i did with the wha wha song, sat for 2 days trying to get the lead and it sucked left it for a week and came back, did some slide over it and it fit just right.. and i hate writers block, is that a turm for muso's as welll? some times I could screem....