Good Mornin' Little School Girl.....(Sorry, where did that come from? ) I ment Good Morning Satchland..... How are you peoples ?

michelle .....no big deal...had to track it down myself. Away we go: Cheese, I'm in bad shape man. lol! Still have the ol' nogin thumpin' away, and now I got some kind of spasm thing in my neck and shoulders. It hurts to move. lol! It's been creepin' up on me all week, but it was just a sharp pain that hurt like hell, but went away. Well, this morning I put both my arms out in front of me to reach for something and it happened again, but it stayed this time. lol! I hate when that happens. I don't know if it's stress related or from working out? So, from tits down I'm good to go. Tits up, fuggetaboudit! LOL! Welp, it should make the day more interesting, that's for sure.

My reply: Michelle......Sorry you're hurtin'.....I think it's time for a message' IMHO. I would suggest Tits down {lying on belly}for that....lol.....take care......

You're right about the idiots in the boat. People are just starting to realize the depth of this horrific event. You have the heros ,the idiots , and the oppuntunists(can you say Hillary Clinton) . To make matters worse the oil spill is threatning the shore line towns . They can't catch a break. The one thing I don't like is pumping all that germ invested water back into Lake Ponchatrain. What are the echological problems this will cause? I know they have no choice cause of the volume of water they have to pump. I hope they at least thought about it.

The new Southern guitar hero? I think that poor women is in pain. The guitar hero is playing an open G chord as G#. That alone is painful. Can you imagine what the vocal sounds like singing over that chord? OH MY GOD ! ! ! ! What do you think about this new guitar hero gettin togather with non-inhaling sax playin' Clinton for a Katrina fund raiser? Now that's ugly. Sorry.....my out is comedy. I'm not pokin' fun at the Katrina victims. Just havin fun with the photo.

Have a Great Day Everyone ! ! ! !

I think he is doing his version of "Cry Me A River".

keniko, I wanted to say something about going "tits up" but I'm laughing so hard I forgot what I was going to say! I just came back from my first work out since I busted (no pun intended) myself. lol! I'll let you know if it goes tits down. lmao!!!

Where is Tastey, we cannot have a serious Tits up or down discussion without her valued input!!!!

michelle......I have that effect on women...IMHO..... Glad I made you laugh and happy you took it that way. I was a bit nervous about posting that again with a risk of offending you by mentioning your......... But then I thought ...Hey this is Big Bird I'm talking to and she's funnier than me. Like I said ....comedy is my out when I'm down or pissed off or whatever. It helps me keep the internal light on cause as you know ( WE ALL KNOW ) what a chaotic world it is.

mikesb, I put an email out to Tastey to get her in on the tit discussion. lol! Now, in the context of your post, would it actually be acceptable to say my tits have gone limp dicked?

wha? was that the buzzer....

lmao!!

Hello All,

A few things have happend since my last post.

Gotta feel for the people in New Orleans, but I cannot believe that lack of survival instincts. I cannot believe that the entire area has become a biohazard and people still want to stay. It seems a little Darwin may have had a point.

Gotta remember history... the dustbowl era, ' Oregon or Bust', 'California or Bust', etc....

Here in Va, I almost considered leaving as Isabell was heading this way. It looked bad for a while.

All that aside, it does me proud to be an American, especially now with all the things people are doing to help everyone out.

I wonder if the Louisianna purchase is still under warranty from the French. Maybe we can get our money back. LOL....

I know Joe must be busy, but I hope he is able to give us a qwick word some. At last account, he is still in Mumbai waiting for his plane to be fixed. LOL....

LAter,

Hello All,

A few things have happend since my last post.

Gotta feel for the people in New Orleans, but I cannot believe that lack of survival instincts. I cannot believe that the entire area has become a biohazard and people still want to stay. It seems a little Darwin may have had a point.

Gotta remember history... the dustbowl era, ' Oregon or Bust', 'California or Bust', etc....

Here in Va, I almost considered leaving as Isabell was heading this way. It looked bad for a while.

All that aside, it does me proud to be an American, especially now with all the things people are doing to help everyone out.

I wonder if the Louisianna purchase is still under warranty from the French. Maybe we can get our money back. LOL....

I know Joe must be busy, but I hope he is able to give us a qwick word some. At last account, he is still in Mumbai waiting for his plane to be fixed. LOL....

LAter,

Oops, sorry about the double post....

1 to many refreshes...LOL...

LAter,

I got this email from my son Aaron.....I love being a parent.

Cuth...... you're gonna love this one.

The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance....

A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.

Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that.

Have A Great Day ! ! ! !

The Worst Hybrid Ad Campaigns

17> Apple Computer/Ortega Refried Beans: Stink Different

16> Peter Paul Candy/Camel Cigarettes: Sometimes You Feel Like a Butt, Sometimes You Don't

15> Dell Computers/Vlasic: Dude, You're Gettin' a Dill!

14> Sprint/"Queer Eye for the Straight Guy": Can You Queer Me NOW?

13> Capital One/Preparation H: What's Up YOUR Ass?

12> Sure Deodorant/Enron: Raise Your Hand If You're Screwed!

11> Pillsbury/Ex-Lax: Ploppin' Fresh

10> Panasonic/TopFive: Just Slightly a Waste of Our Time

9> Budweiser/Philadelphia Cream Cheese: The King of Schmears

8> St. Pauli Girl/Ipecac Syrup: You Never Forget Your First Hurl

7> Nike/Depend Undergarments: Just Doo It

6> Wisk/Kay Jewelers: Bling Around the Collar

5> McDonald's/Trojan Condoms: I'm Glovin' It!

4> Virginia Slims/Mapquest: You're Going the Wrong Way, Baby

3> Bounty/Jagermeister: The Quicker Puker-Upper

2> Visa/Victoria's Secret: It's Every Whore You Want to Be

and the Number 1 Worst Hybrid Ad Campaign...

I'm on a roll today.......

A teacher asked her class, "What do you want out of life?"

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, "All I want out of life is four little animals, just like my Mom always says".

The teacher asked, "Really and what four little animals would that be?"

The little girl said, "A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bed and a jackass to pay for all of it."

Hi people!

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Thanks!

Rollin'....Rollin'.....Rollin'......

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side,and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Here I go again. This one is serious my friends. I received this email from my mother in law . Interesting.....Consider this:

You might want to make a copy of this and keep it in your car. Looks like we're subsidizing a bunch of murdering misfits by buying Mideast oil/gas.

WHERE TO BUY YOUR GAS:

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW.

READ ON, PLEASE

The Saudis are boycotting American goods. AND, they are training & financing terrorists!

Why not return the favor?

Did you know you can boycott their GAS?

Every time you fill up the car, you can avoid putting more money into the coffers of Saudi Arabia. Just buy from gas companies that don't import their oil from the Saudis.

Nothing is more frustrating than the feeling that every time I fill-up the tank, I am sending my money to people who are trying to kill me, my family, and my friends.

I thought it might be interesting for you to know which oil companies are the best to buy gas from and which major companies import Middle Eastern oil :

Shell............................. 205,742,000 barrels Chevron/Texaco......... 144,332,000 barrels Exxon /Mobil............... 130,082,000 barrels Marathon/Speedway... 117,740,000 barrels Amoco............................62,231,000 barrels

If you do the math at $60/barrel, these imports amount to over $36 BILLION!

Here are some large companies that do not import Middle Eastern oil:

Citgo........................0 barrels Sunoco....................0 barrels Conoco...................0 barrels Sinclair......................0 barrels BP/Phillips..............0 barrels Hess.........................0 barrels ARC0........................0 barrels (NOTE: I HIGHLIGHTED, PRINTED AND CUT OUT THE ABOVE AND PUT IT ON MY CAR'S SUN VISOR!)

All of this information is available from the Department of Energy and each is required to state where they get their oil and how much they are importing.

But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of gas buyers.

And....it's really a simple thing to do.

Now, don't wimp out at this point... keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!

I'm sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300)... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) ... and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers!

If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted!