12, yes, 12 days.....

brotheral...yer just a pip...or a looney toons....did ya take yer meds taday honey? LOL!!!

Geez!! It got to 80 degrees here today!! Absolutely gorgeous!! And the fall colors are a' poppin!!

Hey, how cool is this!! I'm watching the 2000 webcast of the Engines of Creation tour....AWESOME!! If ya wanna lookie for yourself, here's the linky: http://guitarplanet.free.fr/download/Engines%20of%20Creation%20Tour%20-%20Seattle%202000.mov

You have to be really patient...it takes a looooooong time to load...but very worth it to see what Joe and the guys do..some stuff I haven't heard before cuz....well.... *hangs head in shame...* I dint know about Joe back then so I missed this the first time around....BUT I'M BETTER NOW!! LOL!! Enjoy!!

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOK,,,ITS ON!!

I just asked Sugarbaby if she would dress up as BARNEY & sing I LOVE YOU ,,YOU LOVE ME to Jeff the drummer,,she said.."HELL YEA"

Hi, i am Dwayne a new member i come from the netherlands in europe i like your music alot my dad introduced me with your guitar music my english is not so good so try to decode it :P i am not reeeeeeeeel big fan but your music is my favorite and R&B is that a weird combination guitar. so plzzzzzzzzzz send me a message back that would make my day or some1 from your band they all rock i like the song The extremist and way way more like up in flames or circels or your relaxing music like engines of creation that is a album too my sister is a fan of yours too and me and my father but my brother is more like a wannabe gangster so he listen 50 cent, blaah so plz answer my mail thanxx

Hello Joe can't wait to get hold of the new dvd & cd, just wondering will cinema version be coming to England? we wait in great anticipation. Looking forward to Mr Vai next wednsday at the civic hope to see you all untill the next have fun.

Good Morning Satchaholics. How are we all today?

Hey Joe,

Cant wait for the new G3....yeah YEAH.....

Brother al...I like the song...mellow....ambient...dreamy....love to hear it finished!

Rob310...thanks...it's sold $6800.00 US...

Eric Clapton has signed a publishing deal said to be worth about $5 million to write his autobiography.

Daniel Craig Unveiled As New James Bond

LONDON - Daniel Craig was introduced Friday as the first blond James Bond and only the second Englishman to star as Agent 007 in the movie series.

Craig's selection was revealed as he was whisked down the Thames River aboard a military boat to a news conference.

Craig replaces Pierce Brosnan in the role of the suave spy in "Casino Royale," due in theaters next year.

"I'm speechless," the star said, after posing for photos with producer Barbara Broccoli and director Martin Campbell.

"Daniel is a superb actor who has all the qualities needed to bring a contemporary edge to the role," Broccoli and Campbell said in a statement.

Producers announced last year that they were seeking a replacement for Brosnan, who has played Bond in the last four films.

Craig, 37, is the first blond actor to play agent 007. Relatively unknown outside Britain, he has had a busy career that includes roles in the landmark 1990s British TV drama "Our Friends in the North" and films including "The Mother," "Enduring Love" and "Layer Cake."

He played Paul Newman's sinister son in "Road to Perdition," was poet Ted Hughes opposite Gwyneth Paltrow's Sylvia Plath in "Sylvia" and appeared in this year's thriller "The Jacket" with Adrien Brody.

Craig is also the tabloids' dream Bond. He once dated headline-grabbing model Kate Moss and has been linked to Sienna Miller, his "Layer Cake" co-star and on-off fiancee of Jude Law.

Earlier this year, Craig praised 007 as "an iconographic figure in moviemaking."

"I think you'd have to be stupid not to consider something like that," he said, but added that he hadn't given the role "any serious thought."

The film's producers tried to keep their decision secret, but Craig's mother told the tabloid Sun newspaper she was "thrilled to bits."

Ian Fleming's first Bond novel, originally published in 1953, "Casino Royale" is one of the few Bond adventures not to feature the MI6 gadget-maker Q. It was previously filmed as a 1967 spoof starring Peter Sellers.

Re The new Bond... Pathetic choice, Sean is laughing heartily right now, he has never really been replaced now has he?

mikesb

What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?

A Stick

What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!

One day Little Johnny got curious and asked his mother, "Where do white babies come from?"

His mother answered "The stork."

Little Johnny then asked, "Where do black babies come from?

"His mother replied, "Ravens."

Then Little Johnny asked, "Where do no babies come from?"

During class, a teacher trying to teach good manners asks the students,one by one "Michael, if you were on a date, having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the rest room," she asked.

"Just a minute, I have to go pee", he said.

The teacher replied, "That would be rude and impolite. What about you John, how would you say it?"

"I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back."

The teacher responded, "That's better, but it's still not very mannerly to say the word 'bathroom' at the table."

"And you Little Johnny, are you able to use your intelligence for once and show us your good manners."

I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment, I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."

Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

I posted this before - but it is a classic . . . Part One

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORKPOOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING: When farting, you walk briskly around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants. <All guys are pretty good at this - DD>

FLY BY: This is the act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.

ESCAPEE: This is a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it.Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee. It isu uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.

JAILBREAK: When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

COURTESY FLUSH: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the poop hits the water.This reduces the amount of airtime the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME. <I really wish everyone would do this!!!! - DD>

WALK OF SHAME: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. This very uncomfortable walk can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER: This is a colleague who poops at work and is damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under his or her arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom. <When I worked for Lawyers, they all carried books to the bathroom - DD>

PROUD FARTERS: These are people that will fart anywhere - anytime. If sitting they will lean to one side or the other so they can squeeze the fart out. Stay away from these people many times they will blame you for the farts. Many times the people are proud of the loud noise, see Noisy Farters.

I posted this before - but it is a classic . . . Part Two

HOW TO POOP AT WORK

NOISY FARTERS: These are people that are proud of the noise a fart makes. They attempted to make as much noise as possible by squeezing or grunting.

THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N): A group of co-workers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS. <Sounds like something Women would do.... - DD>

SAFE HAVENS: A Safe Haven is a seldom-used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

TURD BURGLAR: This is someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a poop at work If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

CAMO-COUGH: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall is called a Camo-Cough. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. The Camo-Cough is very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.

ASTAIRE: An Astaire is a subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear and Astaire,leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.

WATERMELON: A watermelon is a big poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.

HAVANA OMELET: A case of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.

UNCLE TODD: An Uncle Todd is a bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. This person could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Todd makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to poop when the bathroom is empty. <I used to work for this guy. OK Dwayne wasn't that bad... - DD>

This benefits you as well as other bathroom attendees. Hope the Survival Guide helps, as the WORKPOOP is an inevitable part of life.

1.) Go to www.google.com

2.) Type in "failure"

3.) Press the I'm feeling lucky button (instead of the google search one)

4.) Laugh

What's brown and sticky?