a liger....LMAO.....and yeah theres some room in here.....please join me...its lonely.... LOL

all you guys seein Joe tonight are 'lucky'

Remember, it takes a college degree to fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in their jobs.

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. .

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last .................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

heheheheheheheeheehehehehe

hehehehehe ....hope that made you lol a lot

962 - thought of you this morning coz our car is parked under a cherry tree and when I got in from swimming this morning the windscreen was a bit misty so I turned on the air full blast and suddenly I was getting married ....loads of cherry blossom blew straight in my face!......turkish delights not really made out of roses is it...if it is it confirms what I said....lol...bluk!

Hugs Satriella xx

Satriella, hahahaha, thanks for posting the aircraft maintainence problem/solution "gripe sheet" again, that last one gets me every time!

Also, yeah, Turkish Delight is made from Rose Water! hehe, I sort of like it but I can understand why people, like yourself for example, don't!

962 Thanks for the tip on SA120. Appreciate.

To all here and to 962 Few more questions, if you do not mind.

From your experience, any difference between guitars built in Japan and in other places like Korea etc.? (Though I guess Ibanez does not manufacture low range instruments in Japan).

Is it Ok to keep original strings coming with new SA120 or better change to something else? What could be the good option to go for the beginner (I guess difficult to answer because it depends very much on individual)?

Buying a new guitar, are there any well-known points to pay attention to? Known: no physical damage, neck geometry i.e. visual check + guitar must play tuned at every fret.

Any feedback on DigiTech RP50 processor and Ibanez Weeping Demon Wah?

Hey Joe, Really looking forward to the Birmingham Symphony Hall gig. If it's even one tenth as good as when I last saw you, I'd best take a change of pants. lol. I know there are a lot of incredible guitarists out there, especially those that seek your approval, but I was wondering if you'd ever heard of a guy called Darren Hurst? You can really hear the Satch influence in his songs. My Dad saw him play a gig and immediately bought me a CD from him. He has a website: http://www.myspace.com/darrenhurst I know you won't be dissapointed if you visit. Sorry for the blatant plug. I've never met the bloke personally so it's not like I'm being slimy!

Hey Stevee T!

Rock on Satchers.

Yeah, that Tool album cover is pretty cool stuff. Haven't listened to it though. Probably won't, their stuff gives me the creeps even though I like the music.

rob310...give one hope...lol...of the big dream...if you want it bad enough

davealan...he made the best of what he was given & earned

R3TR - For the processor I would look at the Pandora from Korg. It is small, sounds great, and is easy to use. The other option, for about the same cash, is the new Fender® G-DEC. It has headphones , modeling, you can play to a CD and it has built in rhythm stuff to play along with. Great practice amp.

waiting on the boss, dum de dum, oh ye

cuth:http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/click_online/4977134.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4757375.stm

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/4984132.stm

unreal bro

Ethn Hayabusa

Good luck on the job teaching.

Taken From Classified Ads in Newspapers

1) FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old. Hateful little dog. Bites.

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2) FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.

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3) FREE PUPPIES ... Part German Shepherd, part stupid dog.

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4) GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. Neutered. Speaks German.

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5) FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. Looks like a rat ... been out awhile. Better be >a reward.

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6) COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED . Also 1 gay bull for sale.

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7) NORDIC TRACK $300 Hardly used, call Chubby.

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8) GEORGIA PEACHES, California grown - 89 cents lb.

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9) NICE PARACHUTE: Never opened - used once.

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10) JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $300.

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(AND THE BEST ONE)]

11) FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes.

Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer.

No longer needed.

Got married last month.

The Cat in the Hat on aging

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987 . They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.


Their lifetime has always included AIDS.


The CD was introduced the year they were born.


They have always had an answering machine


They have always had cable.


Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.


Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.


They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.!


They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.


They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".


McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.


They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter


Do you feel old yet?

7 Warnings From Mom That You Needn't Worry About

Threat #1: "You're gonna fall and crack your head open!"

Truth: Your skull can split like an egg, but it would require a severe impact, such as falling into the corner of a coffee table, says Larry L. Alexander, M.D., an emergency-room physician at Baylor Medical Center. "You're much more likely to fracture your skull."

Threat #2: "Wear clean underwear in case you're in an accident!"

Truth: When emergency-room personnel cut the clothes off trauma patients, Dr. Alexander says, it's done so quickly that they never pay attention to whether the underwear is stained, dirty, or full of holes.

Threat #3: "Keep touching yourself, and it'll fall off!"

Truth: There's no evidence that masturbation will cause your staff to revolt. Such exploration is "a normal part of growing up," says Dr. Alexander.

Threat #4: "Someday your face will freeze like that!"

Truth: No matter how far you stretch the corners of your mouth or how deeply into your nostril you plunge your tongue, facial muscles will never become paralyzed as a result.

Threat #5: "Don't go out without a coat or you'll get sick!"

Truth: Colds and flu are not caused by catching a chill or by dejectedly walking home from your girlfriend's in the rain without your rubbers. Nonetheless, this myth persists, largely because most people get sick during winter, when these situations commonly occur. Dr. Alexander suggests that it may even be possible to think yourself ill. If you dread damp feet, your brain may depress your immune system when it happens.

Threat #6: "You'll poke someone's eye out with that!"

Truth: It's impossible to "poke out" an eyeball with a sharp instrument. What you'll probably do is pierce or rupture it. To actually pop an eyeball out, Dr. Alexander says, you "have to get in there with your fingers and pull it out."

Threat #7: "If you break a leg, don't come running to me!"

Truth: It's unlikely that you'd be able to run with a broken leg, but you could still walk. Dr. Alexander has seen people with broken legs walk into the E.R. "It hurts like crazy," he says, "but the muscles spasm and produce enough support to bear weight."