Zinc Master
Zinc Master Crown Point, IN USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged
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WHAT SIZE SIR ?????
A man was in a long line at K-Mart. As he got to the register he realized he had forgotten to get condoms, so he asked the checkout girl if she could have some brought up to the register.
She asked, "What size condoms?"
The customer replied that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She reached over the counter, grabbed hold of him and called over the intercom, "One box of large condoms, Register 5."
The next man in line thought this was interesting, and was up for a cheap thrill. When he got up to the register, he told the checker that he too had forgotten to get condoms , and asked if she could have some brought to the register for him!
She asked him what size, and he stated that he didn't know. She asked him to drop his pants. He did. She gave him a quick feel, picked up the intercom and said, "One box of medium-sized condoms, Register 5."
A few customers back was this teenage boy. He thought what he had seen was way too cool . He had never had any type of sexual contact with a live female, so he thought this was his chance.
When he got to the register he told the checker he needed some condoms. She asked him what size and he said he didn't know.
She asked him to drop his pants and he did. She reached over the counter, gave him a quick squeeze, then picked up the intercom and said...
"Cleanup, Register 5"
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Wed May 31 '06 5:50:58 am
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Clarky
Paul Clark plays the organ, going blind www.paul-clark.com
2318 posts total | IP Logged
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MikeSB - well there ae two possible theories...
1 - that is what the wood happens to be called...
2 - the cream was applied via external intervention... lmao..
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Wed May 31 '06 6:34:10 am
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Master Yoda
Neil Morgan York, North Yorkshire England Plays: Guitar (30 years)
1446 posts total | IP Logged
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Anybody else like Annihilator? Jeff Waters is awesome...
Also, don't know if I've mentioned this before, but if anyone doesn't already have that new Whitesnake 'Live In The Still Of The Night' DVD then I would strongly recommend getting it. It's fucking awesome!!!
Clarky - Erm, no; was it in that e-mail then? I deleted it straight away because the subject was "just a test" or something, so I figured there wouldn't actually be anything in the e-mail... lol. My bad!!!
NM
Edited Wed May 31 '06 7:04 am
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Wed May 31 '06 6:59:03 am
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ovation1
Mikey D in da house Satch = ZEN Land Of The Rising Sun Plays: Guitar
3312 posts total | IP Logged
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bahduh: Great to chat with you brotha, and you do have a great knowledge of the football, lol!!.... Great talking sports with you, and I cant wait for the WC matches to start!!.... Blessings to you and your family my friend, and take care....
962: I hear ya bro with Pablo, he fell in love with the country just like I did, lol, plus they really love and respect true talent.... Kudos man, and hey, did you find that link to his songs useful??.... I havent tried to work out the songs from that site yet....
Clarky: haha, lmao bro, you are definately loaded with the guns, and anyone who hasnt checked out Paul Clarks Site yet, needs to!!.... I like the new pic's, definately a rock star there no doubt, lol, kuul stuff bro, I like it!!.... Btw, good luck with those gits, they look well built, and I'd like to try one if they market them here.... Will keep an eye out....
Later peeps....
Edited Wed May 31 '06 7:09 am
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Wed May 31 '06 7:06:40 am
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ICEMAN II
frozen in time... Plays: Piano
354 posts total | IP Logged
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Joe Satriani’s music is a light in a dark space…
sending positive vibes…
RUBINA’S BLUE SKY HAPPINESS…
haven’t heard that song in some time…still sounds just as sweet as ever…it’s great to a hear a song you haven’t heard in a while…it's like finding lost treasure! ! !
Edited Fri Jun 2 '06 3:32 pm
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Wed May 31 '06 7:18:36 am
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Keniko
Ken Erickson Addison, IL. U.S.A. Plays: Guitar (54 years)
1532 posts total | IP Logged
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Good Morning Satchland..... How are we?
michelle..... Sounds like you had a wonderful holiday weekend. That's awesome. Hugs to you.
aussie......How are ya? Pro Tools LE comes with 32 trks also but for $500 you can buy The Production Tool Kit. This increases the trk count to 48 trks. Also you get some really cool plug ins with it. What they don't tell you is you need a screaming computer to run all 48 trks with plug ins so......buyer beware. Check it out Digidesign
mikesb......What up bud? Yeah, there's some great woman guitarist out there. I've heard of Ana Popavic but never listen to her. I hear good things about her. Ever hear of Katrina Johansenn? As the story goes she sent a tape Angelo Batio and he flipped out. He produced her CD and played bass on it. She also teaches guitar somewhere in the Chicago Suburbs....I think ? She's also drop dead gorgeous and a REDHEAD ! ! ! I love REDHEADS ! ! ! That's why I married one
Katrina
Have A .......You know the rest.....lol.....
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Wed May 31 '06 7:22:05 am
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PhryDom
Dave Atlanta, GA USA Plays: Guitar (45 years)
2095 posts total | IP Logged
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Climber I tried ProTools a long time ago and didn't like it. These days I'm using either TunaFish or Fruity Loops for soft synths, bass, drums, etc and Kristal for guitars and mixing it all together.
Satriella Thanks! :)
Happy Tuesday everyone... it's 85F here and I hate it!
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Wed May 31 '06 7:28:56 am
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Master Yoda
Neil Morgan York, North Yorkshire England Plays: Guitar (30 years)
1446 posts total | IP Logged
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Clarky - Jesus, that quilted veneer on 'Envy' is seriously thick... Looks like it's gonna be a beautiful instrument when it's done, man. I can't wait to see it.
It's annoying being right handed coz it means I can't play your guitars!!! lmao
NM
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Wed May 31 '06 7:28:58 am
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Keniko
Ken Erickson Addison, IL. U.S.A. Plays: Guitar (54 years)
1532 posts total | IP Logged
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Love Is Blind Or Makes You Stupid.....Man I'm glad I'm Sane ?
Check This Out:
Man Severs Penis to Prove Faithfulness
By Associated Press
Tue May 30, 5:46 PM
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia - A man who apparently severed his penis in an attempt to convince his wife that he was faithful to her was recovering after surgery to reattach the organ at a northern Malaysian hospital, a news report said Tuesday.
The 41-year-old man, who was not identified, got into an argument last Friday with his wife, who found a text message on his mobile phone from another woman. The man was heard by his son shouting that he wanted to prove he was not having an affair, the New Straits Times reported.
The assertion was followed by loud screams and the man emerged from his room bleeding profusely, his 14-year-old son quoted as saying. His wife rushed him to hospital.
You got to have BALLS to do that....of coarse that's all he had left...lol.....
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Wed May 31 '06 7:55:42 am
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Suzie2000
Suzo London, England Plays: Guitar (35 years)
2002 posts total | IP Logged
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MICHELLE- thanks :)
MARI- thanks too! Yes it's a shame about the London gig- hopefully we will see you again one day though :)
BAHDUH- hi :)
CLARKY- don't start til September... but looking forward to it! Not sure about me having the patience of a saint, more like my brain has the ability to filter certain things out because it has to! lol :) Hopefully we will catch up in the bar at Hammersmith on June 20th!
Edited Wed May 31 '06 7:57 am
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Wed May 31 '06 7:56:12 am
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wolf2
6365 posts total | IP Logged
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Hey man crazieness around here man listen to this at the police station my radio stereo is registered right im down there for radio aswell man which keeps me out of shit they know when im listening right and when you step away from it a few yr,s ago this guy that works for the township said i was over at my old work the garage smoking a cigarett where your not allowed to in it right so anyways the cops go budddy frank wasnt smoking no cigareettte there man he was listening to his radio actulaly they just go wrong guy man you left for this many minutes manyou did this there was no smoke man so anyways they told this guy with th head problems dont do it again right he,s cool sometimes manso anyways im at the garage the other day inside well like 2 weeks ago man gettin a nut and washer or sumthin he wals by the fornt of the building now he,s been going over the supposadly seeing me smoking thing on the radio driving me nut,s man i dont smoke there man like i mean they could be doing anything changing a gas tank you name so i just never smoke there but anyways i was listening to my stereo man which by the way is expensive to run about 50 bucks a month for hydro for the pioneer buddy so anyways basically if you weere smoking he has to call the cops before your garbage gets picked up or he cant do it man i dont what would happen on probation this township guy saying you were smoking that was already told not to do that fouck were good now garbage is gone manbut this guy is kind of cool he my friend sometimes manshould be no call and they shouldnt have to tell him hes nut,s man it,s the only way to do time buddy like probation i just sit and listen to my registered stereo buddy wasnt me fouck crazy man this guy always thinks im smoking man it,s crazy man if ther was a problem i would do the 15 days and 3 months for the breach call the guv see if im allowed to waste him then fouckn end it and not worry ever again then new policy after the first just waste em first off later wolf2.
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Wed May 31 '06 8:20:35 am
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OCPS470
Chris Peters Lake Mary, FL USA Plays: Guitar (28 years)
1276 posts total | IP Logged
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Clarky: Thanks man. Yeah I figured it's Triaxis or nothing haha! I've been internet searching for a midi mod, but I think it's so involved that no one does this type of thing. It's no big deal though, because it's not something I would really consider anyway.....I mean, I think it's over kill that Petrucci does this anyway, instead of having a lead tone, a dist rhythm tone and a clean tone. I was mainly just curious if it was even possible, but looks like no haha!
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Wed May 31 '06 8:38:54 am
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