Just stopping by for a minute - be back more, maybe on Wednesday.

The Old Mule

An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully. From morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.

One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field. He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.

Immediately, his wife began nagging him again. Complain, nag, complain, nag; it just went on and on. All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet,caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.

At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.

This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it.So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.

The old farmer said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And what about the men?" the minister asked.

Vacation Advice

Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, "Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go.

Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant.

Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas,and Earlene got pregnant again.

Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene got pregnant once again."

Luther asks Billy Bob, "So, what you gonna do this year that's different?"

Billy Bob says, "This year I'm taking Earlene with me."

The Little Boy


A little Mexican boy goes into the kitchen where his mom is baking. He puts his hand in the flour and wipes it all over his face.

"Mom, look, I'm a white boy."

His mom slaps him in the face and says "Go show your father."

He goes to his dad in the living room and says "Look dad, I'm a white boy." His dad slaps him hard in the face and says "Go show your grandmother."

The boy goes in his grandmothers room and says "Mira, abuelita, I'm a white boy."

His grandmother slaps him in the face and sends him back to his mother.

His mother says "See. Did you learn anything from that?"

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.

She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.

The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.

He did it and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.

"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.

Cheese101 - Thanx...it was a cool interview.

Guitarmiester - Thanx for ur info. Is not interesting that Marty Friedman does not do any finger tapping.Hope to see u soon.

Hi Joe,

I have seen your concert at Maria Lankowicz in Austria and it was really great. It was for the first time I saw you live and it was absolutely wonderful. it is very difficult to discribe it by words. The sound of your guitar will stay in my mind for the rest of my life.

One recommendation: Please include the Czech Republic in your next tour, there are lots of funs who love you.

By the way, I would like to wish you a happy birthday.

Guys PLEASE HELP ME WITH MY QUEST! I am looking for Vito Tieke (the Dutch Photographer). Who can give him the message, I am looking for him?

Hi Joe!

I'm more or less just going to rush into a question because I'm desperate for the answer. How did you acquire the "bubbly" sound that you use for The Crush Of Love? I just can't put my finger on the effect that you use. I'm just madly in love with the song and the tone that you use. Thanks in advance.

Hi Joe,

If you have some spare time this week in Paris, ask to take you and your team to the place called Sainte Chapelle de Paris. This chapel was built in 13th century and on its second level has probably the most stained-glass windows ever exist in the world. I was in last year, almost disappointed with what I've seen on the ground floor (mainly because of high expectations I had) and absolutely amazed on the first floor!!! These stained-glass windows... not from this Earth. If I was you, I would wrote a melody for them...

Location: 4 boulevard du Palais / LA CONCIERGERIE

Good morning,

I performed the Satch Boogie on the keyboard last night at a talent show down in Point Pleasant NJ. It was fun watching people's mouths hang open. Although I didn't win the show it was a great experience for performing in front of a crowd. I will have an mp3 of the performance shortly.

If you are interested in hearing what a keyboard sounds like playing Joe's tunes, please go and check out

http://www.myspace.com/mgrater

Right now there are mp3s for "Time","Made of Tears", and "Echo".

Have a nice day,

I can't believe this whole Rooney/Ronaldo saga. What a disgrace to the beautiful game. I've always thought Ronaldo is an arrogant prick, but now he's gone down even further in my estimations.

Don't get me wrong, this isn't blinkered loyalty and patriotism - I actually thought England were gonna lose anyway, because they were playing like retards for the whole tournament - but these events really turned the whole match into a mockery. I dread to think what awaits Cristiano on his return to Manchester (of all places...).

In other news, my girlfriend bought me one of those new 30GB black iPods that play videos and stuff for our oe year aniversary. I feel really bad because the absolute maximium I could afford was a table-top Sudoku thing!!!!

Delfino - Congrats on your first year pass man!!! The reaosn you don't feel like you've learned anything is probably because you virtually haven't. The first year of Uni is pretty much just about consolidation of stuff learned in the past; kind of like a one year long aptitude test. But don't worry ; the hardcore learning is just aorund the corner!!!

HEY JOE.....luv ya.. hope allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll is well : )