Coffee man - There's only three reasons to go to Liverpool. One, to go watch Leeds play football against the scouse gits (not likely seeing as we are in different divisions), Two, to get a passport (you're a Yank so you must have a Yank one), Three, to get your car boosted. So, I take it you're not happy with your car then. Before any scallies get on their high horse, I'm only having a bit of fun!

Great chattin t you all tonight, 2 cool.Enjoy the day its 1 am here & i got t pull the finger out for whats already today! Take care y all, peace out

Captain Steve:I just caught your mail bud b4 i hit the hay, ah god love him...its tough for sure.Keep us posted n rest best y can buddy

Zenfish....October....nice

slanshroom...glad to hear he's made it this far...!!

btw...love the hardy har,har...jig...lol

insane.....looks bout right to me...disturbingly real...

Daddariosoul...Terry Bradshaw!!!

Morning T2J'ers.

Quarter past midnight on Friday 30th and I'm pondering....

Today we close down our office for good (sob), but we're having a party : ) (go figure).

Anyway, we're all supposed to be selecting a favourite track to play during the day tomorrow, and so I put a Satch tune down and everyones asking "who?"...

So, my question of the day is, what Satch tune would you play (and in this case I think we're looking for a pick me up tune) in this instance?

Hey -

Have any of the guys who got UK platinum/diamond meet and greet packages for any of the shows on the recent tour received their weblink for the pictures?

Holy crap I havent been here in ages. How are things Satchers?

JS: Thank you for a amazing show in Toronto back in April. Super Colossal is a great album. It's So Good sounds like a Lynrd Skynrd song Joe, Sweet Home Alabama almost, at least the background guitar stuff does. Great disc though. EJ was wonderful as well, shame I couldnt get back stage to meet you guys, both of you are my heroes.

HEY JOE, LUV YA

DADDARIOSOUL The Roth will be back. Just like Arnold. If ROMO can play with 20 plus concussions without missing a game, I think the Roth can too. Love Bradshaw STEVEE T. That was THE best Steeler team ever. On the other side was Jack Lambert! Want to hear a mind blower football fans. Been training my nephew who will be playing O line for Hawaii again this year. He is Samoan, Hawaiian, Chinese and Caucasian. He is 6'4" and 360 pounds with no clothes on! You should see this dude in the weightroom. His name is Dane Uperesa. If you tune into Alabama's first game of the season, he should be even bigger. I think hes the biggest O line in the country right now. Ha! Check it out! Maybe he will end up at Pitt.

This is too funny not to pass on.... Anger Management Part I

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f***ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking Spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. The car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.

He said, "Hello."

I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah,"

He screamed, "Stop calling me,"

I said, "Make me,"

He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole #2.

He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, asshole,"

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

I said, "You'll what?"

He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.

Part II

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better.

JOE I have been having some REALLY bad dreams of you.....i wake up crying......and....i cant hold myself together when listenin to you.. ARE YOU OK? LIKE... TOTALY OK? and the family?

sorry....but i was havin a bad dream....its been happenin for a a few nights now...and i keep crying on every song..... i need to know if every thing is ok

CYBER FAMILY are you all ok? and my cyber friends.....are you ALL OK?

donnie...........hey i guess yu must be one hell of an english fan......well bro just a reminder what happened when galatasary played leeds united a few years back and the tunnel brawl between english and turkish players during half time when they met for a place at euro 2004......anyway if yur pick is germany then i agree with yu...and frankly i have this to say to yu,whoever wins tonight in the match between germany v argentina goes thru to the finals from the bottom draw....ukraine or italy have no chance...period....but to count out brazil.........well......i think yu are being emotional about england.....they are feeding off scraps at the moment and portugal is no childs play...just remind the english of what happened during euro 2004 qtr finals.......remember the guy called postiga......he is in the team but yet to play.....what the heck.....england has no chance in hell.........................even if they go thru portugal who are without key players,they are going out in the semis.....be practical and rational and logical bro......and yes if yu think brazil cant win,,,then just wait and watch...and frankly Ze roberto has been the Brazilian player of the world cup so far............and i agree with yu that Ronaldinho must start performing......anyway have a wonderful day and enjoy the games tonight and tomorrow...... i am keeping my fingers crossed for portugal,argentina,brazil and yes,,,,,UKRAINE!!!!!!!!!

suzie2000.....couldnt agree more with yu..lol......cheers and have a nice day!

ovation...bro i think we will have to work out something with regards to the phone of yurs....as soon as i got the number i tried calling yu but the operator says that the number does not exist..anyway yu have mail and everything is in black and white there....

satriella........hi,,.,.,,.,,.,still no reply to my mail...hope all is well>

lucysorets....hisis...hope yur getting better...sorry about ESPANA going out......

The TOUR DE FRANCE begins tomorrow......i wonder how many of yu are fans of the Tour but i am and so i am really looking forward to the Live Telecast of all the stages......i anjoy watching the gruelling,painful race and the endurance and strength and determination of the bikers is really tested.......my fav this year has got to be IVAN Basso of CSC,,,,,and yes there is always Andreas KLODEN,,,,Floyyd Landis , Vinikurov ,Ivan Mayo,ChiChi Ribeiro,Hincapie and of coz the Old Man who is fed up of coming second.......the man who has always been in the shadow of Lance Armstrong .....Mr Germany himself......Jan Ulrich.........i hope for Cyclings sake that he can regain all his composure and strength and give it one last hurrah..........with the removal of the Team Time Trial the race has become even more interesting..who saw what happened last year in the TTT,,Team CSC snatched defeat from the hands of Victory.......they gifted the TTT to Team Discovery.anyway i cannot help but admire the bikes and all its aerodynamics thing......and yes the scenery and beautifuls landscape....it is the most BEAUTIFUL SPORTING EVENT IN THE WORLD........ VIVA LE TOUR!!!!!!!!!!and may the strongest and deserving biker win.......in case some of yu guys like F1 and has never followed the TOUR then try it this year as strategy,tactics and team orders are as influential here as in F1..here yu have a host of riders to control and that makes it all the more difficult than F1 which has only 2 drivers.....

my fav all time of what i have seen is Miguel Indurain(Spain).

cheers people!!!

happy wekkend..

all yu sports freak out there ,,,enjoy the weekend.....foootbal,,,,F1,,,wimbledon........tour de france....what more can yu ask??????

ahhhh no time...

quickly

bahduh.....I have so many people to email and no time....sorry will get back to you soon thx

Civgeek - that's bad..........but extremely funny!!!!!!

deathcube K - Thanks for the link my son loves Clever Trevor and badgers badgers etc

anibur - er there is only one photo there but yer on my favourites now thanks honey

guitarded boy - oooooh I hate it when people are in trouble and I cant help.....sad me....but sadder you...yer poor thing.....I am sure Kimber makes up for it all...Kids are precious treasures whatever age!

ovation 1- You will love this guy he is amazing

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z34JYwNGFtw&feature=Views&page=5&t=a&f=b

OH MY WORD THIS MIKEY TAKE OF JAMES BLUNT IS SOOO FUNNY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thtmaZnxk_0&feature=Views&page=1&t=a&f=b

gotta have Joe - That's the wirdest thing I have ever heard....ice-cream scares you?

Hurtling down a hill with no brakes scares me but your fine with that!

stra---a---ange

donnie_darko - yep definately ...my new dream is to see Joe at every UK gig on his next tour...if I can cope with the travelling...coz that scares me!

ICEMAN II - I am sure you have an amazing poetic description of it.....I found him calm and easy to talk to....though the secutiry blokey made me nervous....

John - THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!

Hugs satriella xx

ESPGUITARLORD: Although you were probably told 7 - 10 days by Jon Iverson, I would imagine it will probably be up to 3 or 4 weeks (going by previous posts I have seen from USA). I was at the Bournemouth Meet & Greet and am keen to receive my link as I am finding it hard to believe it really happened!!!!!

GROWLER:Refreshing to hear those that assault get a hiding & put away, cool.It a good to know the human body so well, especially when planting a strike, that way you dont kill them, lmao, laters bro

Cuth:It really is disturbing eh

Zen:Nature tells me she doesnt want me anywhere near it, thats why nature made people like me citys, lol

impressive chainsaws yaaaawup