A Montana cowboy was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

The cowboy looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR cell phone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany. Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data stored.

He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color,150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP Laser Jet printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the cowboy.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.

Then the cowboy says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government", says the cowboy.

"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about cows... this is a herd of sheep."

"Now give me back my dog."

G'day guys , I just made it possible for every one to be able to stream my songs directly from my site instead of going to soundclike yay!!! can some of you guys try it out for me.. would suggest when you click on the song to pause the song once it starts loading then let if finish loading the stream and then press play.. let me know how it goes..

Hey Joe! I got permission from my mom to start an acount on your website and I wanted to say tell you gave an awsome concert. I went to the G3 on March 18 and that was the first concert. I have ever been to. I was with my aunty, my cousin, and brother. I didn't know what to expect but three guitarist and an awsome night! So once again thanks for that wonderful experience and I hope to see you again.

michelle: On your bro-in-law.... I see, yeah, that had to be tough, but I just cant imagine giving it all up when kids are involved.... The kids are the ones that suffer, but then again, sometimes it's better to seperate them than erode the family even more.... Lol, I am sounding like Dr. Phil now, haha....

BigBunny: sweating can be icky & annoying sometimes so if you could have the choice would you rather hang your tongue out & pant instead? hmmm *thimpks* ;) hehehe, you know, that depends on what I'm getting ready for, lol! ;-)

joe ...watching you was just the most awe-inspiring gig I have ever been too and I will see you over and over again

but...

in a completely different way the MCR concert last night was the most amazing gig I have ever been too! Full report coming later...boy I am deaf...I can't speak...I mean everyone without exception knew all the words and sang at the top of their voice 5000 people singing...its was amazing...the fireworks the fire...the lights it was just amazing....

anyway a great start to the day was the first place we went to was the Hard Rock Cafe Shop...Now I was wearing my joe t-shirt, necklace and bag...and as soon as I walked in this shop assistant came flying over and said I was at that gig in Hammersmith ....so of course we got to speaking about Joe and Steve and etc etc...then we had some food at the hard rock cafe....got pictures of the hendrix stuff and steve Vai's double guitar and other stuff...then we went to Hamley's Toy shop....awww I love that place...I got the cutest little guitar for my bag....you were supposed to buy this teddy and dress it up which cost loads so i just asked if I could have the guitar....they were none to happy but they let me get it....hehehe

Another fantastic part of the day was at the train station....of course it was jammed with fans...this guy shouted "every listen and sing" and he did the heart monitor beeps (thats how the black parade album starts coz its the story of a patient in hospital) and we all just burst into song...that was just a classic moment in life to remember....

oh oh speaking of classic moments...another one at the gig was when he said...."I'm gonna turn the lights off...not coz your not pretty...I wanna see the stars in the sky".....About 75 of the people there turned on their mobiles and waved them and waved them through the next song....it just looked amazing....

WOW!

Happy Hugs to all Satriella xx

Vindiesel..........Jealous......LOL.....Ha Ha Ha..... Please, I dont have the time to count up the amount of time time I have met Joe let alone talked to him.....ext.......lol Jealous.....

Happy Day's.

Whooo Hoooo its FFFRRRIIIIDDDAAAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS : My Jackson guitar rocks and yours will to if it's American Made.

Zen the barn is very nice indeed.... quite full and very wooden and earthy....

Al: I meant to tell ya, that Evolution of Petrucci was classic, lol, all he needed was a chicken in the hand to make it even better, lmao!!....

aussieRGman: Your music player is working fine..nice job....