Ugh...I got a flat tire tonight. I guess it's good I'm off work Wednesday, so I can go take care of it, but it sucks. Argh...

I'm going to send some Dream Theater MP3s to hybes when I'm done here. If you email me I can send them to you as well.

- Joe Satriani
- Jimmy Page
- Joe Perry
- Slash
- Eddie Van Halen
- Eric Johnson
- John Petrucci
- Steve Vai

Hmmm...I can make those 10 sets of initials with only six letters.

The Top 20 Albums of All Time (For Real)

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History 101

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals, and

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline pilots and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to tick them off.

Keniko, That pic is awesome by the way. Wow, those are some good reviews too right? Dang got me wanting one bad. hehe

Good Morning Satchland.......What Up?

Soul To Strings......Yeah, when I read the reviews I was a little taken back but I took them seriously. Those peeps said what was on their minds and commenting from their experience and not cuz it's Joe's amp. I played a JSX combo and fell in love all over again....lol.... I decided on the head cuz I have a 4/12 bottom plus the combo weighed in at around a 100 pounds. Being 50, I figured the head would be easier to move around and I didn't want my knuckles dragging on the ground...Ouch !!!!. Eventually I want to get 2-2/12 cabs with Celestrion Vintage 30's for portability and so the bassist has a cab on his side of the stage. The head and cabs all weigh in at around 65 lbs. and thats manageable. Take Care.....

Band update......Killer rehearsal last night. I'm getting really excited about our Aug. 16th gig. I can't wait...

elpp, those are great pics you got, thanks for sharing :)

Tony....I got yer email, thanks....will look at it tonight, but one thing I noticed is that my "protection", whatever it is, disallowed the link you sent me. Musta had a potential virus attached to it, so I can't do the download. And I did try the older flash version on my home computer too from yours and Austin's links here, and that dint fix the chat. But thanks very much for trying, I really appreciate it. Can't wait to see Jenna's pic tonight :)

That's funny mc, I had to read yer last post several times and finally figgered out why.....cuz there wasn't a single word mispelled, LOL!

OK I might be able to go to the Chicago show, but can't get the club Joe package :((( it's my money why can't I spend it meeting Joe!? THAT'S WORTH IT. But noooo she wants me to save up for college! JOE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAT COLLEGE! well at least to me right now. BUT $300 WON'T BE THAT MUCH FOR COLLEGE! so i'm stuck with regular tickets then....but that's DEFINITELY better than nothing. But bummer I was going to have Joe sign my baldcap =D That would have been hilarious! what songs is he gonna play? I read on this forum that he's pretty good about meeting fans at the bus. is that true? or does he have those big mean body guards that won't let you anywhere near him? IF ANYONE IS GOING TO A CLUB JOE SOON FILM IT FOR ME PLZ (if filming is allowed) but sometimes under-18-year-olds aren't allowed so can I get into this one!? I would DIE if I wasn't allowed in. how can I find out? sorry for all the questions but this would be my first concert, (that wasn't in a guitarcenter) so I am freaking out!

Hi joe hi evrybody Ive just finishing jamming with joe i put my stereo at max and my head at max and i play like a mad im in a house with a lot of wood the floor is in wood the sound is magic ive just finding a good sound with my boss gt6 cool im learning from ure record joe especially the live really in fact i learning every day im not a bad player but i should play in a band maybe next year i must find good musician . Cool the post cast really funny I ve tryed the satchurador its a good pedal like it gonna buy it i had the number 29 of the pedal in my hand and its cool good work joe the wah gonna be perfect i presume i also try a js1200 really cool guitar is the next one that i gonna buy with a jsx head . U kwow that my friend Patrick Rondat use ure amp for his next album u let them in france during ure last tour the clear channel is rectify true ? So let u joe good luck to ure tour and i wait from the dvd!!!

Hey Joe and all, looks like it's been real active here recently, I came on to find 18 pages of comments...haven't had much time recently...lol

But I had a question for Joe or anyone who might be able to answer it for me.

On the song "Lifestyle" how do you obtain that really cool effect with that the lead guitar is doing in the beginning and throughout the song. It is done with Tremolo Bar, Whammy Pedal, Wah Wah Pedal (don't think so), or just a vibrato effect?

I am just very curious about this it's just got such a great sound and adds such a cool effect and I'd like to try and play it, but I don't have have a Tremolo Bar on my guitar, so that sucks....but I might just go out and get a whammy pedal if that would help. Can anyone help me?