Skippygirl - LOL they made me laugh...I love the rain one...we sit around watching them die...haha
goldengirl - glad you laffin!
A happy, little fly was buzzing around a barn one day, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh horse manure. Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pains, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out. She ate. And ate... and then... she ate some more!!!
Finally, she decided she'd had plenty. She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, then attempted to fly away. But alas...she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.
She looked around wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.
She'd found a solution. She thought if she could just become airborne she'd be able to fly again. So, she painstakingly, climbed to the top of the handle. Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.
She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor! Dead Fly.
The moral of this sad story?
Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of shit.
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The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls."
I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!" Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him.
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him "Midnight". He didn't seem pissed off at all.
Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock." When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said, "Oh sh!t.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared it's throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
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There are some weird place names around the world..check these out!
1. Shafter (California, USA)
2. Beaver (Oklahoma, USA)
3. Shitlingthorpe (Yorkshire, UK)
4. Bastard (Norway)
5. Twatt (Orkney, UK)
6. Arsoli (Lazio, Italy)
7. Muff (Northern Ireland)
8. Wankie (Zimbabwe)
9. Climax (Colorado, USA)
10. Nobber (Donegal, Ireland)
11. Lickey End (West Midlands, UK)
12. Fukum (Yemen)
13. Lord Berkeley's Knob (Sutherland, Scotland)
14. Dildo (Newfoundland, Canada)
15. Turdo (Romania)
16. Dongo (Congo - Democratic Republic)
17. Seymen (Turkey)
18. Dong Rack (Thailand-Cambodia border)
19. Intercourse (Pennsylvania, USA)
20. Brown Willy (Cornwall,UK)
21. Wanks River (Nicaragua)
22. Wankendorf (Schleswig-Holstein, Germany)
23. Fuku (Shensi, China)
24. Beaver Head (Idaho, USA)
25. Fukui (Honshu, Japan)
26. Shag Island (Indian Ocean)
27. Fukue (Honshu, Japan)
28. Middle Intercourse Island (Australia)
29. Wankie Colliery (Zimbabwe)
30. Chinaman's Knob (Australia)
31. Wet Beaver Creek (Australia)
32. Tittybong (Australia)
33. Pis Pis River (Nicaragua)
34. Dikshit (India)
35. Dog Dyke (Midlands,UK)
36. Wankener (India)
37. Sexmoan (Luzon, Philippines)
38. Upper Penguin (Australia)
39. Pratt's Bottom (Kent, UK)
40. Jacks Bush (Salisbury, UK)
41. Black Charlies Opening (Tasmania, Australia)
Know any more?
hugs satriella xx