A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.
Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."
The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:
LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"
POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."
LAWYER: "No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
POLE: "It made of concrete."
LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"
POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."
LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"
POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."
LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
POLE: "Ja, we have hi-fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."
LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"
POLE: "No, I always up before her."
LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"
POLE: "No, she white."
LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"
POLE: "She going to kill me."
LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"
POLE: "I got proof."
LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"
POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say Polish Remover"
----------------------------
Beer or Women....who will win?
1. A beer is always wet, a woman isn't.
1 point for beer!
2. Beer is horrible when it is hot.
1 point for women!
3. A cold beer satisfies you.
1 point for beer!
4. If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you. If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for sure and she might even not talk to you again.
Draw! (it depends on your point of view...)
5. 10 beers in a night and then you can't drive. 10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere!
1 point for women!
6. The older beer is, the better.
1 point for beer!
7. Many beers can make you see UFO's. Many women can make you see God!
1 point for women!
8. If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you're normal. If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you're alcoholic.
1 point for women!
9. Removing the sticker off a beer is fun, but removing women's underwear is funner!
1 point for women!
10. For a beer you pay taxes.
1 point for women!
11. If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry.
1 point for beer!
12. You can always be sure that you're the first one "opening" a beer.
1 point for beer!
13. If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself.
1 point for beer!
14. You know exactly how much a beer costs.
1 point for beer!
15. A beer doesn't have a mother.
1 point for beer!
16. You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half an hour after.
1 point for beer!
FINAL SCORE: Beer beats women. (9 to 6)
If you're a women and are getting angry, think that a beer wouldn't.
Another point for beer! Final score: 10 to 6.
he he he
Hugs Satriella xx