These are real answers from 16year old GCSE students this summer!!!
The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire (U.K)
Q. Name the four seasons
A.. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar
Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists
Q. What causes the tides in the oceans
A. The tides are a fight between the earth and the moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins the fight
Q. What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on
A. If you are buying a house they will insist that you are well endowed
Q. What are steroids
A. Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs
Q. How can you delay milk turning sour
A. Keep it in the cow
Q. What is the fibula?
A. A small lie
Q. What does 'varicose' mean?
A. Nearby
Q. Give the meaning of the term 'Caesarean section'
A. The caesarean section is a district in Rome
Q. What is a seizure?
A. A Roman Emperor.
Q. What is a terminal illness
A. When you are sick at the airport.
Q. What does the word 'benign' mean?
A. Benign is what you will be after you be eight
Q. What is a turbine?
A. Something an Arab or Shreik wears on his head