1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills... she has 14 kids but doesn't really care.

2. One of life's mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don't know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today.

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knicker's.

10. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

11. Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...'You know sometimes I forget to eat!' .....Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden name and my keys, but I have never forgotten to eat. You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!

12. The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing and then they marry him.

Does anyone here want to talk about Joe Satriani? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q7-yBnBB4H8 - is this Joe Satriani playing guitar? Any one?

Joe Satriani and Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony and Chad Smith?

Chickenfoot?

HSAS II ? Hagar, Satch, Anthony & Smith has the same number of syllables, and the same annunciations as Hagar, Schon, Aaronson & Shrieve.

'Spooky Halloween Cryptic analogy.

If you receive an email entitled:

'Bedtimes'

'Delete it IMMEDIATELY'

Do not open it.

Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.

IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING? ?

It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the 'Bedtimes' message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.

***WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***

And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!

THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!!

5150 that sounds like Ed all the way to me.

SKIPPYGIRL- your kidding right? hope your not busy for the next year!! step 1 rent or buy a electric guitar. take lessons for at least 3 months then if you haven't given up, we'll talk.

Blue Moon...PUT THE HEATING ON....or have a hot bath, with your big toe resting beside the hot tap so you can turn it for a wee top up every so often....

Skippygirl, it was a great movie. I too enjoyed Rosanne, I'll check it out on Youtube. I'm away out tonight to see 'Ghost Town' with my MUM...my social life ROCKS!

5150_Alien - That video doesn't sound like Joe at all...I'd also question that it's actually Axl...it almost sounds like it's a bad impersonation of everything, or the original recording with some heavy effects throughout.

Do you have a favorite line from the movie? Most of us here can probably identify with "to truly love some silly little piece of music or some band so much that it hurts"...

My favorite, though, considering my job, is the Jason Lee / Don Bebe line "He was never a person, he was a journalist."

a REAL MAN....

that wears nightgowns :D

Fox 'Toons Out King of the Hill

Los Angeles (E! Online) – The preening queens of The Hills? Reigning media darlings. The animated cast of King of the Hill? Out of a job.

Fox has finally called time on its Sunday-night staple, opting not to pick up any more episodes of the second-longest-running animated prime-time series in history, behind The Simpsons, after the end of its 13-episode 13th season.

Talk about unlucky. And familiar.

The network has more than flirted with canceling the show in the past, actually wrapping production on the Hank Hill-centric series before turning around and ordering more episodes.

And while Fox's M.O. is apparently to never say never—having revived both Family Guy and Futurama in recent years—it appears that 260 episodes out from its 1997 debut, the network is officially over the Hill.

Not that everyone's on board.

"We've been here before," exec producer John Altschuler told Variety. "When it's time for King of the Hill to go, it will go. But I think with the ratings this good, and with the quality that doesn't seem to be diminishing, it would be very odd for King of the Hill not to keep going."

Odd, but seemingly natural.

Both of the series' creators, Greg Daniels and Mike Judge, have moved on to other prime-time projects, namely The Office and ABC's soon-to-launch The Goode Family, respectively.

King of the Hill revolved around the blue-collar Texas-based Hill family and featured the vocal talents of Brittany Murphy, Kathy Najimy, Stephen Root, Tom Petty and Judge himself.

Sadly, the show will taper out without a proper sendoff: No series finale has or will be made.

As for Fox, it's wasting no time in filling the new animated-comedy hole in its lineup, with two new series, the Family Guy spinoff The Cleveland Show and Sit Down, Shut Up, already in production. It was also announced this morning that the network has ordered a fifth season of American Dad.

I have a question to anyone who knows the answer! What main gear was used for recording the 'Joe Satriani' self-titled album (more specifically the songs Down, Down, Down and S.M.F)? What guitar?

cold cold cold!

Michelle,

Thanks for the love song. I needed that.

Austin,

Have I been living in California too long? I'm only lived here all 52 years of my existence.

Joe "The Art Man" gave me the nickname GoldenGirl He was my dad while he was on this planet. He was an extraordinary Joe not unlike Mr. Satriani. He was also an Art Teacher.