A friend sent this to me. I thought it was pretty funny.

Dear Red States:

We've decided we're leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.

We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly:

You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft.

You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families.

You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once.

If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home.

We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have: - firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water - more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce - 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit - 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) - 90 percent of all cheese - 90 percent of the high tech industry - most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal - all living redwoods, sequoias and condors - all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus ... - Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all tele-vangelists and their buddies like Rush Limbaugh, as well as Bob Jones University, Clemson College and the Univ. of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you very much.

Additionally, 38 percent of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is only a theory, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy nincompoops believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties. (NOT!)

Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Michelle.....your last post made my day...lol...thank you. Once again I could'nt have said it better myself.

Alan, you mean Miss Mary Mac. LOL!

Zuperdave, nice ;- ) Did you see J Mc's speech today. He's talking so much bullshit on Obama (not much talk on his policies though) it's no wonder his feckin wife needs mud flaps around her neck. lol! It's to keep all that shit out of her ears!

Ohh yeah, Barack-O is on tv tomorrow night for a half hour special.

6" of snow at the Poconos. The Phillies and Rays are gonna freeze their nuts off tomorrow. LOL! Should make for a fun game.

Let's dance!

Yeeeeaaaaah, don't be jealous! lol! Get yer sexy on!

GAHHHHHH....we need to get you to JT rehab and like...yesterday!!!!

But yeah, the red and blue states was freakin clever, I'm so glad I live in Oregano :)

Mckenna, it actually doesn't surprise me in the least that no one there cares that u have a lady in charge!

Hey Michelle,

Not to burst your bubble.... but, BOTH sides are bad.

Look up senate bill 1959 and read the wording carefully, then understand that they BOTH supported it.

The first why to control dissenters of any type..

1. Control language

2. remove weapons

Hey isn't it kinda funny that the Bill of Rights has freedom of speech and the right to bear arms as 1 and 2?

Obama is the straight up in your face idiot and McCain is the devil in plain sight, yet no body want to recognize either.

If it weren't for the media, Obama would be a nobody.... McCain's campaign was dead and BROKE....

Now these are the 2 choices we get for president? If people are so idiotic that they can't see that, then they get what they deserve.

Obama..."98% of small businesses make less than $250,000 a year."..... actually this is BS....The Small Business Administration's criteria for being called a small business is DIFFERENT depending upon the industry they are in... and revenues are typically still in the MILLIONS. You think a local Pizza Hut franchise is gonna survive on just $250,000 a year.... just 10 employees earning $20,000 a year would kill their budget.

McCain..... McCain-Feingold, McCain-Kennedy, Fairness Doctrine and much more...

BTW gov't controlled business is called COMMUNISM.... and it doesn't exist without FASCISM to push it, unless people are unwilling or uable to fight back.

Why doesn't congress just called itself the POLITBURO and get it over with?

The people is our congress (hey, isn't that the opposite of progress?...) have caused this problem. They want unless to be weak and weary so that we will just accept whatever solutions that they push, even if they are to our own detriment. Because that is what they WANT.... power and money... the same old same old as all through history....

BTW under SR 1959... by my speech here... I could be called a terrorist.

What is the quote? All good men need to do for evil to win is.... NOTHING.

LAter,

Michelle--I think you're pessing off Blue Moon.

I'm not sure what's up with GuitarSamari--he seems to think Obama and McCain are both terrible for this country.

If we all take up arms and start shooting each other in the streets (after all, isn't that the way we read the 2nd amendment to our constitution)--I'm off to Canada where people are reasonable, have common sense and truly believe in peace and practice it consistently.

I'm tired of our government pessing off all the rest of the world. When are we going to stop quarreling like a mob of bratty children and become reasonable grown-ups?

We need to listen REALLY listen to what the rest of the world is talking about. We are so wrapped up in our on stars and stripes we can't hear what they are saying about us in Canada, UK, Australia, Germany, France, Belgium, Netherlands, Denmark, Spain, Italy..........Need I say more?

Who reads the Financial Times? The Independent? The Globalist?

Maybe we can learn from these news sources instead of insisting we ALREADY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING!!

Look at the WHOLE PICTURE and stop pessing me off!!!

JS1200JS1000-----You have a point! I wouldn't be able to cross the border without a passport. That's on my "to do" list.

If you knew how much I love Canada, you would allow me to tiptoe in. I promise I won't leave but a very small carbon footprint!

&:)

OK if you want a change of topic - it's the Melbourne Cup here next Tuesday - do any of you watch it??? Sure it will be on your sporting channels.

We lucky Victorians get a public holiday (so of course we all take Monday off and make it a long weekend) and all of Australia (no exaggeration) will stop to watch the race, which is usually round 3pm.

Here in Melbourne there will be many, many BBQ's, crazy hats and outfits, and if you do get to see some coverage from the Flemington racecourse you will see some interesting dressups.

Miss Mary Mac?

Aerosmith - Walkin' The Dog

EDIT - I found a better video...

What bugs me about Out Of The Sunrise being dropped is that the first time I heard it I thought it could be Joe's next Cool #9, meaning they could really jam out with it when they play live and build up an improv intro and everything. I told Joe that when I met him on the Guitar Center tour in April, too, but oh well.

Of course the decision is yours ,and you should obviously see the movie first, but I think Almost Famous would be fine for your children. I normally watch the director's cut, which has heavier language and a split-second of nudity, but the regular version isn't too bad. There's drinking, but there's no direct drug use (though there is some talk of it, and one scene that deals with the after effects of abuse).

Anyway, I'll stop...until you actually watch them, that is. ;-)

Do The Stu - Well I have working for a bank and playing with a band doing a show called Through The Ages which is basically a trip thru musical history with costumes etc etc. Earns a few extra pounds for me... Nothing to shout about though... Hopefully gonna be touring it next summer so fingers crossed it comes off.

Guitar For Sale... I am selling my tresured Ibanez PGM which has been signed AND played by Paul Gilbert himself. I have photos of this happening which will also be included. It comes with all accessories and the original Ibanez hard case. Contact me if you are interested.

Cheers,