big bunny - er...oooo....um....I dont know what you do....sorry ...will have a look later
Ibanez_god - LMHO these are carols hahahahaha
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A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, " So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".
Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"
The woman continues, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man.
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "
MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with us!
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Jack and Jill - A lesson on how NOT to conduct your wedding night.
Jack was about to marry Jill and his father took him to one side and said, You'll like this one !!
"When I got married to your mother the first thing I did when we got home was to take off my trousers. I gave them to your mother and told her to try them on, which she did. They were enormous on her and she said to me that she couldn't possibly wear them, as they were too large.
I said to her, "Of course they are too large for you. I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. Ever since that day we have never had a single problem".
Jack took his father's advice to heart and as soon as he got Jill alone after the wedding, he did the same thing. He took off his trousers and handed them to Jill and told her to try them on. When she did she said "I can't wear these, they're far too large for me".
"Exactly" Jack replied "I wear the trousers in this family and I always will. I don't want you to ever forget that".
Then Jill took off her knickers and gave them to Jack. "Try these on Jack" she said, so he tried them on but they were too small.
"I can't get into your knickers" said Jack. So Jill said "Exactly, and if you don't change your f****** attitude, you never will!"
hugs Satriella xx
