A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out a second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit fitted in the car he had just pulled over, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,'Dammit, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well t hat you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

I love this part........ ... :

'Only when he's been drinking.'

Dont you just hate it when the one person you turn to for advise ignores you!

Glad I am not teetering on the edge of a building ready to jump....

Can you imagine the scene....

I'm a few days behind on posts, and I'm going to get even further behind because I'm going on a mini-vacation until Wednesday, but I wanted to make a quick comment because the last podcast was uploaded today...

Once again, it was cool to hang with everyone in Reno and San Francisco...hopefully we can do something awesome like that again next year. :-)

You can see me give the \m/ metal horns \m/ and hear me scream at the end of the crowd shot in San Diego, and then I'm somewhere else too...but I won't say anything because no one has commented on the podcast yet.

Anyway...

T2J: INFECTED BY SATCHAFUNKILITIS!!!

;+) You can see me and Chris just barely in Reno, and not at all in San Fran, but the banner is there, woo woo! I'ma hafta go back and watch a few more times to try to pick out the other t2j'ers in Reno and San Fran, it goes by soooo fast, but I know you were all there!! We miss you all, we miss Reno, we miss San Fran and WE MISS JOE!!

And Joseph...it's so true....T2J is infected all right, LOL!! But in this case, it's a very good "diagnosis" to have :)

howdy saturani's.

joes still the man-hill groove what a laid back tune:-)

VAT-15%-its only good if you spend about a grand. and its going up to 20% in a few years to re-coup losses.

and remeber thats 2.5% on the vat-not the retail price of items. so on a £1 its bugga all.

and national insurance is going up to-yippee doo!

keep us sane with your tunes of hope and joy Mr.S.

anyway its bloody cold.

GNR new album-its axls solo album i think-taken on its own merits its got some good and some not so good tunes-worth the wait? probably not but that axl's a funny fella.

looking foward to this new prince of persia game on friday-and they remade bionic commando and it rocks. also recommend dead space:-)

No offence, but: ............. ........... ........ COME BACK TO HOLLAND JOE!!! haha :) I couldn't make it to one of your concerts earlier this year and that was such a mega ultra bummer!!! Please come back one day, I hereby promise I'll be there!!!!

We miss ya!

mrbluetone--Congrats on getting Satchurated!!!

Michelle--who is this man who would get more than half naked for you?

Tracie--Did you know that Joe borrowed Stu Hamm from GK and will have to give him back? This lending and borrowing of people should only happen at a library where it is legit!!!

Joe--Please turn yourself over to San Francisco's main public library so people can check you out!! I would love to borrow you. ;-D

Mr. McKenna--Great moon photo. Is it true you were born under a wanderin star? You can wander into California any time your heart desires--you have my permission.

For those of you who live in bitter cold places--please do yourselves a favor and visit Australia and New Zealand. It's late Spring down under, and much warmer weather I'm sure.

T-care ya'll

OOOHHHH!!! BLUE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!

I like "fecking" SUMMER SONG!!! So lay it on me you handsome creature, you!! You are too handsome for this tormented world!! A sight for sore eyes!!!!!!!!

I think I need to take a COLD shower!!! I'm gettin' hot flashes again!! LOL

Ally, it's one degree colder in Dublin than it is here. It's colder where the massive one is. I think it sucks when it gets dark so early. That makes everything seem more blecky. Have a shot of whiskey and run around that giant mansion of yers. That should warm ya right up. lol!

GGirl, Who would get more than half naked for me? Shall we take a poll? lmao!! What's more than half? One sock on, one off? Besides, it's not who would do it, it's who I would want to see do it. lol! As for our youngin' Al, are you turning into a cougar? lol!

DEc. 1 - Time for some Christmas vids :-)

WHY do I always get in THIS MODE before bedtime. lol!

Gee, and here I wuz thinkin it's a good night to watch "How the Grinch Stole Christmas"...which is on in about 10 minutes....but then the heavy metal stuff gets goin and it's so hard to CHOOSE!!!

Did you know that jalapeno peppers are freakin HOT? I mean, HOT!!! FFS, the oils must still be on my fingers or something, I keep burning my lips off!!! Talk about being retarded....

But u've started it now chelle, Dec 1st...time fer the Xmas carols to start....

Speaking of bitter cold, my thermometer says it's -9 F right now. How you doin' ?

Minnesota EEEEEYYYYYY !!!

fatape - LMAO

MJS99 - nice shots of the "planet-pic" thing - we had t0 go out last night (school thing) and missed it.

Cheesey - thanks for that link to the little interview - it heartened me soul that Joe said anyone can learn however they want i.e. self-taught, lessons whatever. There was a small mention of talent but.....

Check out this beautiful Chrome Boy