Hi satcharockilus fans!
Michelle - some good names there!
Anibur - Ugley...haha....wonder if the people who live there are?
Lorenzo001 - Bog recreation LOL
Joe Satrini - Get well soon....hope it wasnt the accident that is making you sleepy?
-------------------------------------------
Geography of women
Between the ages of 18 - 21 a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful with bushland around the fertile deltas.
Between the ages of 21 - 30 a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars.
Between the ages of 30 - 35 she is like India or Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of its own beauty.
Between the ages of 35 - 40 a woman is like France or Argentina. She may have been half destroyed during the war but can still be a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between the ages of 40 - 50 she is like Yugoslavia or Iraq. She lost the war and is haunted by past mistakes. Massive reconstruction is now necessary.
Between the ages of 50 - 60 she is like Russia or Canada. Very wide, quiet and the borders are practically unpatrolled but the frigid climate keeps people away.
Between the ages of 60 - 70 a woman is like England or Mongolia. With a glorious and all conquering past but alas no future.
After 70, they become Albania or Afghanistan. Everyone knows where it is, but no one wants to go there.
------------------------------------------
Only in America...
Only in America can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
Only in America are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink.
Only in America do we award someone $3,000,000 for spilling hot coffee in their own lap.
Only in America do we have labels on baby strollers to remind people to remove the baby before folding up the stroller.
Only in America do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.
Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
Only in America do banks leave all the doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage.
Only in America do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
Only in America do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
Only in America do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!
----------------
This guy was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion he finally bought a centipede, (100 leg bug), which came in a little white box to use for his house.
He took the box home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to Frank's place with me and have a beer?"
But there was no answer from his new pet.
This bothered him a bit, but he waited a while and then asked him again, "How about going to the bar and having a drink with me?"
But again there was no answer from his new friend and pet. So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time, this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank's place and have a drink with me?"
A little voice came out of the box "I heard you the first time! I'm putting on my shoes."