maritime, can you imagine the faces of some of the prudes when porn came on! It was prolly hilarious! Bitchin' pics of Joe from Am'dam!!

Al, Obama loves to throw snowballs at little kids. He's from Chicago, remember. lol!

Love all the snow pics. Nice to see it in other parts of the world...instead of my backyard all the time. lol!

Slan, what this shows you is that there are so many CORRUPT politicians that ALL of them should be audited, checked, then checked again - then throw the bad feckers out on their ass and be done with them! It's just sucks that they get away with stuff for so long. If it would be me or you, we'd be in the pen looking out! They somehow have little repercussion. Pay yer bill, pat on the ass, and have a good day. Feckin INjustice for ya.

Got the mp3 player blowing Metallica through my skull :- )

Crunchy...yet satisfying!

Ohhhhh, One Robot's Dream sounds killer! I'm not used to hearing my music this clearly. Headphones always makes a huge difference. Every time a Satch tune comes on I'm like...damn, this song sounds GREAT! lol! It sounds great in my car and house too, but when it's in yer ears - wooo-ha!

Hi Joe!!!!

Can't wait for Chickenfoot - when's the Melbourne gig scheduled for???????? P.S. how can I get C Joe???????? My fingers won't do it.

Joe:I take it you were using the old Neve desk from Air Montserrat? i heard ACDC,s Black Ice recently with Mike at the helm & the sound is astonishing

Joe: You know we all are just patiently waiting for Chickenfoot, you guys are gonna rock!

Please tell me your taking it global! Otherwise can you give me heaps of warning and I'll fly to the USA for your first gigs!

Hey Joe, how about these ideas for the title:

Chickenfoot - Year of the Ox.

What Recession?

Obamania

The Sky ain't Falling

Sgt Cluck and the Chickenfeet of Doom!

Um Joe, Chickenfoot might have a problem with copyright:

We can Fly

Hello World

The Second Coming

Curly - Hag - Mike - the Chad

Global Recession

Chickenfoot - We are NOT Chickenfoot!

Chickenfoot - Cameltoe

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHhhaahahahahaa...

:)

roo - sure as eggs (LOL) there won't be any Australian leg (LOL2) to the Chickenfoot tour.

How about we organise a tour group from Oz so we all get a discount - i.e. "Skippygirl's Satch Tours"?

Maybe Joe would do a dedicated meet'n'greet for us too :o).

this will sound really woooosy....but don't they make anything you can put on your fingers when you first start playing guitar to stop em being

PAINFUL!!!!

I just got a great Joe Satriani necklace..

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Joe-Satriani-Guitar-Pick-on-necklace-picks-limited-300_W0QQitemZ190283665204QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUK_Jewellery_Watches_CostumeJewellery_CA?hash=item190283665204&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1688%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318

Michelle - RE: Britain's weather......you can see why australias call us windging poms! LOL

We really are pathetic in the UK!

kids comments on the sea...

• This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

• Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

• If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are in continent. (Wayne age 7)

• I think sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

• A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of it's head. (Billy age 8)•

• My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs. (Millie age 6)

• When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans. (William age 7)

• I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

• I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

• Some fish are dangerous. Jelly fish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

• My mom has fish nets, but doesn't catch any fish (Laura age 5)

• When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin age 6)

• When me and Sarah went to the sea side in the summer holidays, we hid in the sand dunes and watched my big sister doing it with her boy friend. It was fun. (Lauren age 7)

• A submarine goes under the water like a fish, but it has lots of seamen inside. (Emma age 5)

• When I grow up, I want to be captain of a big ship, and have lots of sailors (Valerie age 6)

• Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky age 8)

• On holiday my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny. (Julie age 6)

Anibur - hey....saw a picture of you the other day...you are very pretty!

Last week I attended an AA meeting, and to my horror, each person present stood up and openly admitted to being an alcoholic. I'm not having these boastful drunkards repairing my car. I can only hope the RAC have more responsible employees.

The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish they'd make their minds up. John

'Disneyland - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail loses around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. L Palmer, London

With reference to Mr Palmer's previous letter. I am also married to a Taiwanese lady, but nobody ever asks me if she is a mail order bride. But perhaps that's because I am also Taiwanese. And we live inTaiwan. Lo Chi Chang, Taipei

The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they stop breaking the law, so will I.

On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.

Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius.

Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with the exception of 'There is Nothing Left to Lose' by the Foo Fighters. I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their splendid sense of humour.

I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My Dad is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.

What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that.

When I nipped into a McDonald's to use their toilets the other day, I was confronted by a spotty teenager mopping up vomit just by the lavatory. On the back of his T-shirt it said 'I'm Lovin' it!' Funny, but the poor sod's face told a different story.

I was being chased by a police dog last week, and made the mistake of trying to escape through a little tunnel, over a see-saw and through a hoop of fire. It finally caught me as I was weaving in and out of some sticks.

I don't know why cigarette manufacturers put those big warning stickers on the side of their packets. If anything, it is likely to put peopleoff buying the product. Forget Prince Harry and his fascist ways, whilst eating a Birdseye Potato Waffle the other day, I was sickened to be able to fashion a crude swastika from the compressed starch matrix. And their Alphabites are no better. After carefully selecting a plateful, I was able to spell out 'Hitler is nice' if I used a z on its side for an n. How long are the frozen food giants going to be allowed to get away with this?

Global warming has been getting a bad rap lately. But what's so terrible about having more oceans, no winters, and year-round sun tans? Before you write off the coming climate change, check out our 25 reasons why there's nothing like a nice warm globe. 1. Minnesota can change its license plate slogan from "Shit hole" to "The State with Two Coasts."

2. Kansas will finally get what it deserves: a hurricane.

3. Saying "I hate winter" will be like saying "I hate Father's Day", cause it only lasts 24 hours.

4. No more penguins.

5. The hotter it is, the colder beer'll taste.

6. "Sunny Alaska" will replace "Burny Florida" as the new winter vacation destination.

7. It will take a lot less time to boil water.

8. You'll finally get some use out of that ark you got for Christmas.

9. Hot Tubs will be replaced with Ice Tubs - which will mean lots and lots of hard nips.

10. Everyone will be so tan that we'll all look like Arabs. And then there won't be any more racism.

11. One word: Waterworld.

12. Another great excuse to hang out in your underwear 24/7/365.

13. Mexicans will start heading south instead of north.

14. You'll be able have engine block eggs without starting your engine.

15. The Olympic torch will never go out.

16. Due to the lack of ice, hockey will finally become the the sport it was meant to be: a bunch of guys hitting each other with sticks under water.

17. There's no forest fires in the ocean.

18. The phrase "hot as hell" will no longer be hyperbole.

19. You'll be able to roast your nuts without an open fire.

20. Since they're called the "Boys of Summer", baseball will be played year round.

21. You'll be able to really put your Degree deodorant to the test, just like in the commercial.

22. It'll be as hot as the south everywhere, so naturally, everyone will become as funny as Jeff Foxworthy and Larry The Cable guy. We'll laugh ourselves into world peace.

23. You'll be able to give hot rock massages to ladies you just met in the park.

24. If the entire world floods and we're forced to live underwater, maybe we'll meet Poseidon.

MR. BIG CONFIRMS 20TH ANNIVERSARY REUNION, PLANS TO TOUR JAPAN:

Confirmation of the Mr. Big Japanese 2009 Tour - As posted at: metalichicka.wordpress.com

Verbatim transcript follows: “Hello listeners of Koh Sakai, Burrrn presents Heavy Metal Syndicate. Koh Sakai, who was there at the very beginning for Mr. Big, and we're so happy to have a friend like him in Japan. And we're very happy, and thankful, to have all of you, as our friends. So, Mr. Big's coming back soon to play for you, we're excited to see you all, Koh Sakai, domo arigato, for 20 great years, my brother. Take care, see ya soon, This is Billy Sheehan of Mr. Big, over and out.” “Hello to my brothers and sisters, of Koh Sakai, Burrrn presents Heavy Metal Syndicate. This is Eric Martin. You know, remember me? Right in the middle, between Billy Sheehan, Paul Gilbert, and Pat Torpey? That's right. We're back together again. Playing a town near you. Mr. Big is back!”

“Hello, Koh Sakai, Burrrn presents Heavy Metal Syndicate. This is Pat Torpey, from Mr. Big. We're back together, all original guys. Paul, Billy, me, and Eric. We can't wait to come to see everybody in Japan.” “Hello, this is Paul Gilbert, and you are listening to Koh Sakai, on Burrrn presents Heavy Metal Syndicate. Mr. Big is back together. All original members, and we're coming to Japan to play live. So, come check it out, and rock with us. Yeah!”

NEW MUSIC FROM VAN HALEN POSSIBLE:

Joe Satriani: Great to see some blue from you. I hope you are doing well. Hopefully on your next tour, you'll stop at Indiana, especially in Fort Wayne. I'm looking forward to the DVD. Keep up the excellent work that you do as well as any other work or charities that you also help out with. As for the charities that you help support, I am willing to lend a hand, if you like. I would like to volunteer or help you out.

HELLO EVERYBODY!!!

I have today and tomorrow off, but of course, I am on call with work. Work at the Holiday Inn will be getting busier in the next few days, as well as my first upcoming running race. February 8th at 2:00 P.M. is my first run. Wish me luck everyone. I have been training earlier today and will be meeting with my running group later tonight.

Before I meet with them. I'll be heading to a book signing. Former Indianapolis Colts Coach Tony Dungy is in Fort Wayne today talking about his new book and he will be doing a book signing. :D OH YEAH!!! I am so excited and I can't wait to meet him. I already bought four of his books: One for my father (on his birthday, which is also this Sunday), one for my brother-in-law, one for my best friend, and one for myself.

SuperDaveMcCarthy: Sorry to hear that you had to sell those two things. :( I hope the family is doing well. I kind of feel down in the dumps myself, but this is work. I enjoy it, but I do most of the work and some of my coworkers do not put in the effort. By the way, thanks for those e-mails. Keep in touch and prayers to you, bro.

Maritime & Skippygirl: AWESOME THAT YOU GOT CHATTED WITH JOE!!! :D

Maritime: LOVE THE PHOTOS!!! Awesome!!! Thumbs up!!! Memories to remember for a long time.

Skippygirl: I have not had a chance to do any NLP because of my work schedules, and other businesses. Hopefully, I will get to it today or tomorrow. My first race is Sunday the 8th.

Igenousiceman: How are things going with you? Only a few more days until my first race of 2009 (Sunday actually). I'll let you know how it all went. Prayers to you, bro.

Michelle, Cheese 101, GoldenGirl2, Satriella: How are all of you ladies doing? I hope you are all doing well. Keep in touch and prayers to all of you.

Michelle: I like you voicing the opinions and facts that you talk about here. I am with you. In fact, maybe you should be a host or co-host on radio or television. I'll listen to you. How's your pop doing?

Do The Stu: Hope things are going well with you. How is life treating you? Keep in touch.

Slashroom: One down and three to go for Rafael Nadal. The next Grand Slam is the French Open and I think he's got it hands down. Keep in touch and I hope you are doing well.

Blue_Moon: How's your guitar playing going? Have you come up with any more new songs? By the way, do you have any demos or CDs of your songs? I am just curious because if you are selling them, I might be interested in one.

Joe Satrini: I haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you are doing well. Prayers to you, bro!

js1200js1000, death cube k, Railton, Keniko, Guitarman77897, Tikimon, Castle 49, Ibanzeplyr, JS_JS, cosmic ape, fatape, roo, alexandrecaetano, and to all the T2Jers:

How's it going with all of you? I hope you are all doing well. Keep in touch.