so, it's either...

Fight The Good Fight

or

Run To The Hills

and here's one for Cappy!

OK, so who was "Robert" from Santa Rosa at the Crystal Planet premier event in San Francisco?

Did you get the backstage at The Warfield on that tour? I know joe would have kept his word.

What did you talk about?

Satriella: Correction, Duck quack's DO echo! But it has to be an increddibly echo-able room. Here's a link for a study on it: http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/

Maritime - haha good joke.

El nico - I swear thats a dog barking....but I stand corrected if its true!

Delia's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Woman's Way
Buy smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delia's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tesco sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a sh*t.

Delia's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?

Delia's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles

The Real Woman's Way
Left over wine???? Hello!!!!!

----------------------------------

Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him or Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

LMHO

No offence!

Hugs Satriella xx

Are you happy being a man...here's why!

Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President of the USA.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt in the rain.

You can wear NO shirt in the rain.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too filthy.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress £5000. Tuxedo rental £75.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £3.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have bra strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

AND

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be sleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren't in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbours would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't come with energy

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was running

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"

The Art of Writing Good Emails

Keep it Brief and to the Point

“Brevity is the Soul of Wit”

– so said Shakespeare. Who are we to argue with Shakespeare?

Don’t Check Email Compulsively

Check email once or twice a day. Check email when you have enough time to properly respond. If you don’t have time you may rush a reply and not give yourself time to think. Don’t have email on auto prompt. – I.E. every time a new email comes you get a prompt, - you will never get anything done.

Don’t Say anything you wouldn’t say in Person.

The problem with email is that the personal contact is lost. Therefore, we feel detached, sometimes this can make it more willing to say things we may regret. When writing an email, feel you are actually speaking to the person.

DO NOT WRITE IN ALL CAPS

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE SHOUTING. PLEASE TURN IT OFF!

Explain your Problem Carefully.

I could write a whole post on how to report technical faults. The important thing is to give as much detail about what has gone wrong. Bearing in mind the sys admin is not psychic. Avoid “It doesn’t work! This is useless!” Look at How To Write a Bug Report

Don’t Respond When Angry

American President, T. Jefferson said

“When angry count to ten before you speak. If very angry, count to one hundred”

May I add “When angry and emailing count to one thousand.”

Let Emails Wait

If you have a difficult email to write, before sending, let it wait overnight. Go back the next day and revise the contents. Often you may wish to moderate your comments.

Do you Really Need to Write the Email?

Some emails are essential, but some are non essential. If we have the opportunity to speak to somebody anyway, there is no need to send a stream of emails about general chit chat.

Good English Should not to Be Forgotten.

Maybe I am bit old fashioned, but when writing emails I like to maintain the basics of good spelling and punctuation. (Mozilla inline spell checker is a real Godsend)

Some people feel they don’t have time to use Capitals, spelling and the basics of grammar. However, it is likely that they are writing more emails than necessary. If you don’t have time to write emails properly it is better to try and write less.

Break up your Email into bullet points

If your email is long, or contains several points, don’t write in long one sentence. White space gives the reader a breathing space. If you break up the mail into parts it makes it more likely it will be read. Note, how this post is broken up into different parts.

Standard Replies.

If you have many people writing about the same thing, write a standard reply you can customise. Save a short note in word or in an email draft. You can then add this standard reply to all relevant emails, saving time.

Keep it short.

Did I mention keep it brief? The email should have a clear purpose. Avoid going off at a tangent. If you want to ask about “how to Create a new folder”. There is no need to start relaying a list of complaints about your new PC (or Mac) [1]

Funny Story

When email seemd very new (back in 1997) I was a student at Oxford University. We used to sometimes joke about political views, which were not entirely politically correct. After joking around, I decided to write an email and then, without thinking or reviewing it, I posted the email to the Guardian Newspaper.

They only went and printed it ! I was horrified to see this email, published in 8 million newspapers (slight exaggeration) but that is what it felt like. If it hadn’t been so easy to press the send button I may have held back and not sent it.

15 Tips for Writing Effective Email

Have you ever needed to email someone - a stranger, asking them for a favor? How can one compose email such that they will be read and responded to? How do we effectively email someone who gets a lot of email?

Whether personal or business, the ability to compose efficient and effective email is super useful - both in terms of productivity and responsiveness.

We’re all busy, and we’ve all received long, ambiguous and rambling email. Ironically, most of us have also been guilty of writing such verbose email while requesting for someone else’s time.

Now that I’ve had a little taste, on the receiving end of such email, it quickly became obvious which kind of email works and which do not. I have made some interesting and useful observations on effective email - particularly,

* What not to do when emailing someone (ie. a stranger). * How to write email that people will actually (want to) read.

The point of this article is to share tips on how to approach people via email in the most efficient way possible, along with some common pitfalls on why some emails do not work.

Assumptions

Before we dive in, let’s lay out some assumptions:

* The recipient (person you are emailing) potentially gets a lot of email * You need something from the recipient and plan on pitching it via email * You either do not know the recipient, or she is an acquaintance, or she is a close friend and you’re asking for an unusual request.

Our goal is to construct email that:

* Will actually be read * Will actually be understood * Will not annoy the receiver * Does not take up too much time on the receiver’s end.

Email Psychology

Generally speaking, the sender and receiver see things from drastically different points of views. And from the perspective of a sender, we often do not spend time understanding who the receiver is and what their inbox might look like. Let’s have a quick glance at both sides:

Observing the Receiver

* Gets a lot of email. * May receive compliments regularly, if they are a public figure. * Regularly gets asked a standard set of questions and favors. * Does not have a lot of free time. * Does not mind helping you, if it is fast.

Observing the Sender

* Spends a long time crafting the ‘perfect’ (-ly long) email. * Believes that their request is original, unique, and special. * Believes that they are the first to ask for such favors. * Cannot imagine why anyone would turn them away. * Desires to tell the whole story, explained from every angle, so that the listener can understand their point of view.

How to Cut, Copy and Paste Text

I’m always on the prowl for interesting websites and services that can help us, whether you’re a power user or a novice. I recently found a website that I am excited to pass on to all of you.

Tinypaste is a place where you can paste text or code to save and share with another person, or multiple people. It’s so easy to use, that it needs no explanation on the website! Simply paste in your text, and click the “Submit” button. It will take all that text and give you a small URL which will link directly back to what you pasted in.

Now THATS what i call a bath OHHHHH Miss Pendrake

I just ate a jellybean that tastes like washing up liquid

GlitzMan....we are at -26 F right now. And it's supposed to warm up to 28 above by next wednesday. Hard to believe.

Mr Satriani, When are you coming back to Michigan? I want to take my son to one of your concerts. He's 15 now and I'd like him to see you live. You did quite a few shows in in the early 90's in Kalamazoo. I haven't seen you play in almost 20 years. (My fault) Please come back again!