Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God, "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says, "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says, "So she would love you."
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Kids are so smart these days....
Some feel that kids are getting dumber these days. After reading following conversation they will have to change their opinion.
TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday?.
STUDENT: Seven. .
TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday? .
STUDENT: Nine. .
TEACHER: That's impossible. .
STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today. .
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America. .
GEORGE: Here it is! .
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? .
CLASS: George!.
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago..
WILLY: Me! .
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty? .
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are. .
TEACHER: Why are you late? .
WEBSTER: Because of the sign. .
TEACHER: What sign? .
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow.".
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?.
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write? .
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card..
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake..
SAMMY: You can't fool me, teacher... snakes don't have feet..
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?.
JOSE: Don't bite any. .
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I". .
ELLEN: I is... .
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am." .
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." .
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave you? .
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money. .
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,what would I have? .
JOHNNY: Big hands! .
hehe
Hugs Satriella xx
