WEBMASTER - JON - Good to see some green- I Can't seem to get into the photo's you were talking about???

enjoy!

Ozzy-Fudd - that's bwilliant that post about the military...vey logical too...I agree!

Hideous puns for all you lexiophiles (lovers of words)

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.

2. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward [or dyslexic] poet writes inverse.

5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism it's your count that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

8. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.

16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

17. Every calendar's days are numbered. [In more ways than one.]

18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.

19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.

22. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

29. Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

Feel free to groan now.

Hi glitzman - I is good....not sure what will happen about the divorce/finances now though as my ex has just been made redundant!

New words to think about...

TESTICULATING - Waving your arms around and talking Bollocks.

BLAMESTORMING - Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS - The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.

CUBE FARM - An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see that's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)

MOUSE POTATO - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".

STRESS PUPPY - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

XEROX SUBSIDY - Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's workplace.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

ADMINISPHERE - The rarefied organisational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the "adminisphere" are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve. This is often affiliated with the dreaded "administrivia" needless paperwork and processes.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

OHNOSECOND - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all')

WOOFies - Well Off Older Folk.

CROP DUSTING - Surreptitiously farting while passing through a CUBE FARM, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

The Ultimate Guy Quiz. How will you score?
1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a) lovemaking
b) screwing
c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b) your blood-test results
c) five tequila slammers

3. You time your orgasm so that:
a) your partner climaxes first
b) you both climax simultaneously
c) you don't miss SportsCenter

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a) healthy, creative love-play
b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend could ever agree to
c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a) the best part of the experience
b) the second best part of the experience c) $100 extra

6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a) impossible - she looks too gorgeous!
b) not a problem, she can join your gym
c) a conservative estimate

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a) a myth
b) an oxymoron
c) a moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:
a) appetizer is to entree
b) primer is to paint
c) a line is to an amusement park ride

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a) "I hope we can still be friends."
b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c) "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
a) probably needs more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b) is uptight and a waste of time
c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place

--------------------

Score 1 point for every answer "a"
Score 2 points for every answer "b"
Score 3 points for every answer "c"

-------------

Skippygirl, you wear your boots to wherever you're going, then when you get there, you pull yer pair of heels out of your bag, and stash yer boots, and BAM - yer as cute as a bug once again.

Slan, when I saw that press conference on TV where Obama was talking about Wall Street, I wanted to stand up and cheer. Those a-holes have big brutha watching them now!!! LOL! I really hope he curbs all the excess bullshit they've been getting away with for years. All those corporate pukes too! The gov't gave them billions to bail them out. What did they do, they made sure they got their HUGE bonuses! I'm talking one bonus pay for one guy is more than I will ever see in a lifetime of working. They didn't put the money back into the companies for business purposes like they were supposed to, they put it straight into their pockets - and WE paid for it! We paid for the company cars, the huge vacations they take - not just one guy goes - he takes 12 members of his family, the company jets, the "business dinners - and we're losing our jobs, homes, health care, savings, and the American dream goes right down the toilet. As long as it doesn't effect jokers like Bush and the good ol' boys - it's business as usual. They refuse to see what their greed has done.

Ohhh, now I gotta go walk it off! lol!

Glitz Man--I've been busy playing my guitar, working, taking care of my Steve, keeping the house up and tryin to keep me healthy. Sorry if I haven't written to you of late. So much goin on.

Webmasters Jon and Mark--Thank you for sending us your message about the pictures. So much in life to do and so little time. I mean, we all need our sleep and quiet times.

Maritime--You are between England and Deuschland, with only the North Sea between your country and England. That's quite a unique place in this world. You have had to get along with so many people from so many different countries over the centuries. If you want to bring me before the International Criminal Court for my silly upbringing (could be a crime that I was born) and any other crimes I may have committed over my 52 years on this planet go ahead. I stand before you a naked faced woman (yes....no makeup and no earrings (no piercings) and simple clothing (T shirts, jeans and ECCO shoes (no high heels, at least I want my feet to be comfortable after all these years) and will stand with my lawyer and face you and your lawyer for whatever wrongs I have done, starting with a hearing.........a woman in mourning! (What ever happened to the REAL girl with the pearl earring?)

Michelle, Tracie and McKenna--You three are a great comfort to me. So many songs to be written.

I am learning these chords Am, C, D, Em, E, G and G7. My guitar is so kind to me. My fingers are slowly yielding to practice. I am also learning to play in both directions with my right hand. Up, up, up, up.....down, down, down.

What is going on with the new group? Joe ...Sammy Hagar, RHCP drummer, and (agh!) Michael Anthony?

Sad to see Joe in such a commercial band. I would much prefer to see Satch continue to put out solo instrumental albums.

DManStrat--Joe is an experiental, instrumental, virtuoso guitarist who does what his [heart] tells him to do.

Maritime--Who is Geert Wilders? Why does he want to ban the Koran from the Netherlands? The name of the article I got this from is "Totally Tolerant, Up to a Point" in the New York Times, Friday edition. Another case or cause for the International Criminal Court in the Hague, right? Let's figure this out together. We still occupy planet earth together! What about intolerance stopping here like "the buck stops here!"

lmao...how is that line up commercial...

Slan, from his lips to our ears.

He gives us hope.

Power to the people!!!

The freakin' nerve of some people - it just kills me. Dig a hole and crawl the F in if yer so offended by MODERN society. It's a shame that's happening in such a cool laid back place.

jayzus, there's another rant fer ya. lmao!!

Got my mp3 player on and I'm rockin' out to some old VH. I love not knowing what song is coming on next. Went from Metallica to Mudvayne to VH and now DMB.

All you need is, all you want is, all you need is looooove!

Prettiest face in Cali.

Just posted a bunch of Joe Sketches on the site from the satcha tour podcast #15

Front Page

Enjoy!

Alan, are you gonna let us hear it some time THIS year?

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Exxon Mobil reported the largest annual profit in U.S. history Friday, making $45.22 billion on the back of record oil prices.

But Exxon's quarterly profit fell over 33%, as crude prices dropped precipitously in the last quarter as recession spread through the globe.

Exxon (XOM, Fortune 500), the world's largest publicly traded oil company, made $7.82 billion in the fourth quarter on revenue of $84.7 billion. On a per share basis, the company made $1.55, beating analysts' estimates of $1.45 a share.

Exxon's annual profit beat the previous record - $40.61 billion - set by the company in 2007.

Al, I know what a big JT fan you are, so go ahead and wish him a happy 28th birthday!