Did someone say...No Rain?

Okay thanks :D

Hey Everyone,

I got off work early so I get to talk to you all. It is freakin' freezing over here in Fort Wayne. Right now, we are below zero degrees (right now at about -2 or -3 degrees). Tonight's low is 8 below. We have some kind of Wind Chill Warning or Freeze Warning right now until 1:00 P.M. tomorrow. I'm trying to stay warm myself.

I just bought the Joe Satriani Original Album Classics off of Ebay. I can't wait for it to come in the mail.

SuperDaveMcCarthy: Good grief!!! -30 Degrees over there? That is really, really, really cold!!! We are now hitting below zero, so I will be prepared if we encounter -30 degrees. How's the gig going and your family doing?

Joe Satrini: What intrigues me about running is because I enjoy the feeling of it. I like to go outside and run in and around the city to see what is happening. I have been running for a little more than 10 years now. I started running when I was in junior high. I was on the varsity cross-country and track teams in high school and lettered in both of them (all four years). After high school, I decided to keep running and I have joined the Fort Wayne Track Club and I have been running with people all around the Fort Wayne area (from high school, college, etc.).

Satriella: Sometimes it depends on how many races I feel like doing. Last year, I ran about 15 races. Same as the year before. I want to try to do more than 15 this year (I have about 20 lined up for now). I run for fun, but a lot of my friends and coworkers think I should go professional, but I don't think it will be happening. I am already balancing my running with work at the Holiday Inn, family, etc.

Ozzy Fudd: Great three-part story. I liked it a lot.

Okay, time for a little NLP: Neurolinguistic Programming. I would like to thank Skippygirl for this.

Michelle: Let's start thinking and chanting, "Super Bowl XLIII - Eagles and Steelers." This better happen.

GoldenGirl2: Let's think and chant, "Water, Rain, H2O!" I hope that mother nature brings the rain/water over there.

I hope this NLP works for the both of you!!!

Skippygirl: How's the guitar playing going? I ran six miles last night (in the cold).

Do the Stu, js1200js1000, Cheese 101 (Tracie), death cube k, Keniko, Blue_Moon, Guitarman77897, tikimon, maritime, slashroom, fatape, cosmic ape, castle49, ibanezplyr, JS_JS, roo, alexandre-caetano, Railton, and everybody else:

How are things going with of all of you? Been quite some while since I have heard from you. I'm trying to stay warm with this frigid cold weather. Have my running races starting up soon in about three weeks. Hey, check out (on the Internet) the hotel where I work at guys: The Fort Wayne Holiday Inn at IPFW and the Coliseum. Hope you guys can come over and check it out. Just refer it by me. I am continuing to spread the word out about our hotel.

ibanez-god - thanks for the linky, I had everyone singing Cracklin Rosie at work yesterday, it's a catchy one.

Trouble is I don't recognise any of the chords in that link!! I'll have to look up my book and try them - or can I just use the major chords instead?

Heading off tomorrow for 9 days down the beach with a huge gang - taking the guitar so I can practice every day and will be seeing the bro-in-law who is a flamenco guitarist.

Okayz, I have a tape recording of Joe (recorded from radio 1), from 1992 when he played at Hammy Apollo, London - question for ya's all - if I buy a tape to CD recording thingy, do they really work? Does anyone have one that they can recommend? I want this recording to live on forever.......geez, thanks all.

Slans--The doc has me on a Japanese regimen of Tapazole and Levoxyl (thyroid suppressant and replacement). I did have radioactive iodine treatment 17 years ago. That dampened the hyperactivity to a certain level, but not completely. I see the doc tomorrow morning and get some answers.

Al--How much does it cost to send a shipment of rainwater over to Cali? Prolly something like a billizion euros? Maybe I can convince Governor Arnie to import from Ireland, The Netherlands and Switzerland. I'll let ya know what happens.

Joe always has something insightful to say about practicing and teaching/learning guitar. He was fortunate to find his calling early.

Yngwie has some interesting riffs and phases as well. I like his accent. He seems like a 20th/21st century Beethovan or Mozart. Only beeeeeeeyyyyyyooooonnnnnd!!!

I feel like I'm sinking AND I AM FIGHTING THIS MORASS OF DISABILITIES WITH MY WHOLE BEING!! I WILL GET THROUGH THIS!! (I am reminded of the character June, the woman with the brain temor telling the doctor with throat cancer to, "Fight it! Fight it!"

Michelle--Thanks for the Blind Melon, "No Rain". We still need lots to avoid grass and brush fires during the official dry season. And who was it that said there was no such thing as global warming? How daft!!

Railton--Denmark has the greatest shoe company in the world! ECCO is the best. Are your feet happy? Mine enjoy wearing ECCO shoes.

Maritime--Do you have any idea how to persuade the German guitarists like Thomas Blug to travel to other countries and spread their guitar music? I would love to hear him in concert.

McKenna--I got some Irish tea yesterday. Maybe someday when you come to Cali (San Fran) we can meet for tea at Lovejoys. Lots of great tea from around the world, scones, crumpets, cucumber sandwiches and more. Great place to hang out. Maybe Tracie and Michelle could visit, too. The more the merrier!

Now it's tea time with Irish Breakfast!

Me Grandpa Isaac Fidler of Hazel Grove would be proud!

so, it's either...

Fight The Good Fight

or

Run To The Hills

and here's one for Cappy!

OK, so who was "Robert" from Santa Rosa at the Crystal Planet premier event in San Francisco?

Did you get the backstage at The Warfield on that tour? I know joe would have kept his word.

What did you talk about?

Satriella: Correction, Duck quack's DO echo! But it has to be an increddibly echo-able room. Here's a link for a study on it: http://www.acoustics.salford.ac.uk/acoustics_info/duck/

Maritime - haha good joke.

El nico - I swear thats a dog barking....but I stand corrected if its true!

Delia's Way
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice-cream drips.

The Real Woman's Way
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

The Real Woman's Way
Buy smash and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Delia's Way
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

The Real Woman's Way
Tesco sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

The Real Woman's Way
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough shit. Please recite with me the Real Woman's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."

Delia's Way
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks

The Real Woman's Way
It could keep forever. Who eats it?

Delia's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

The Real Woman's Way
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka. You might still have the headache, but you wont give a sh*t.

Delia's Way
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

The Real Woman's Way
Why do I have a man?

Delia's Way
Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles

The Real Woman's Way
Left over wine???? Hello!!!!!

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Q. What should you do if you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A. Shoot him again.

Q. How can you tell when a man is well-hung?
A. When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.

Q. Why do little boys whine?
A. Because they're practicing to be men.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One - he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him or Three - one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q. What do you call a handcuffed man?
A. Trustworthy.

Q. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A. You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q. Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A. Because not one will stop and ask directions.

Q. Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
A: Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women...
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How does a man keep his youth?
A: By giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

LMHO

No offence!

Hugs Satriella xx

Are you happy being a man...here's why!

Men are just happier people. What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President of the USA.

You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt in the rain.

You can wear NO shirt in the rain.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too filthy.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress £5000. Tuxedo rental £75.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is £3.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have bra strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original colour.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.

AND

TO MY DEAR WIFE:

During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of why I did not succeed more often:

54 times the sheets were clean

17 times it was too late

49 times you were too tired

20 times it was too hot

15 times you pretended to be sleep

22 times you had a headache

17 times you were afraid of waking the baby

16 times you said you were too sore

12 times it was the wrong time of the month

19 times you had to get up early

9 times you said weren't in the mood

7 times you were sunburned

6 times you were watching the late show

5 times you didn't want to mess up your new hairdo

3 times you said the neighbours would hear us

9 times you said your mother would hear us

Of the 36 times I did succeed, the activity was not satisfactory because:

6 times you just laid there

8 times you reminded me there's a crack in the ceiling

4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with

7 times I had to wake you and tell you I finished

1 time I was afraid I had hurt you because I felt you move

TO MY DEAR HUSBAND:

I think you have things a little confused. Here are the reasons you didn't get more than you did:

5 times you came home drunk and tried to screw the cat

36 times you did not come home at all

21 times you didn't come with energy

33 times you came too soon

19 times you went soft before you got in

38 times you worked too late

10 times you got cramps in your toes

29 times you had to get up early to play golf

2 times you were in a fight and someone kicked you in the balls

4 times you got it stuck in your zipper

3 times you had a cold and your nose was running

2 times you had a splinter in your finger

20 times you lost the motion after thinking about it all day

6 times you came in your pyjamas while reading a dirty book

98 times you were too busy watching TV

Of the times we did get together:

The reason I laid still was because you missed and were screwing the sheets.

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling?"