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michelle

8476 posts total | IP Logged

GGirl, that wasn't Al talking, it was his sickness. Him never drinking again is like...Barry Manilow never wearing purple. It's just not gonna happen.

Thu Feb 12 '09 8:10:12 pm Set this message as last read

cheese101

3965 posts total | IP Logged

Hey now, watchit....BARRY'S MY MAN!!!

;)

Thu Feb 12 '09 8:50:39 pm Set this message as last read

cheese101

3965 posts total | IP Logged

Awwwww....it's rare to see Joe playing live without his sunglasses....

....but I like it :)

Edit.... anudder one Hill Groove is so catchy!

annnnnnnnnnnnd.... how about some BOOGIE!!

and Flying.....

Joe....thank God yer around and doing what you do. Love ya.

Edited Thu Feb 12 '09 9:27 pm

Thu Feb 12 '09 9:02:13 pm Set this message as last read

michelle

8476 posts total | IP Logged

Lovely, it's bedtime and my cats decided to re-enact the running of the bulls.

Looove that Joe T. I'm tellin' ya - he's what makes this world go round!

Thu Feb 12 '09 9:57:57 pm Set this message as last read

cheese101

3965 posts total | IP Logged

Here's one fer when u wake up chelle, LOL....or yer kittehs wake u up...although...they come to life at night and sleep all damn day ffs....CATS!!!

Joe in Moscow, part 7

From there you can watch the other vids of that series...but it only starts with part 3...then 4, 5, 6, 7....I wanna know what happened to parts 1 and 2?

But anyways, I picked that one to post cuz....Joe just cracks me up....he's explaining so much theory and the reasons why he does this or that...and waiting on the side is the interpreter who is then supposed to repeat EVERYTHING Joe just said to the audience, in Russian....Joe gets a titch carried away here....I'd love to know what the interpreter was actually able to remember to translate back, lol....just watch it, it's great, LOL!!

Edit, okay, so I found another one someone else put up....guess I'll just keep digging around...but this one is interesting, especially for those learning guitar... and you're thinking, "where's he going?" :)

And yer so right chelle...don't wanna ever see a world without our Joe. never ever. Should we all sing "You are My Sunshine" to him? LOL!!!

Edited Thu Feb 12 '09 10:20 pm

Thu Feb 12 '09 10:15:09 pm Set this message as last read

Dream 3
jamie anderson
melbourne, victoria
australia
Plays: Guitar
650 posts total | IP Logged
Glitzman - Ok here mate thanks for asking must say the smell of smoke and the smoke itself is literally blanketing Melbourne . And they have caught an arsonist in gippsland and also 2 assholes excuse my language that have been stealing donations meant for the red cross lock em up and throw away the key i say, but the fires are still really bad and they are very concerned they could get worse by next week so keep the good vibes coming downunder people and Thankyou


Michelle - Gotta love our cute cuddly little Koala's the poor little bugger hey so much wildlife has been lost :( :( very very sad :(


Thu Feb 12 '09 11:04:37 pm Set this message as last read

Do The Stu
Austin Lewis, III
Costa Mesa, CA
United States
Plays: Bass (25 years)
4067 posts total | IP Logged

loll - You're welcome...that video had been posted here months ago so I assumed everyone had seen it. I guess not, though.

I filmed some videos from that same appearance, even though I was told not to. I hesitated posting them because the songs were new and PSATMOR had just come out, but maybe I should put them up on YouTube now...

And it's cool to see you're a Rush fan. Were you listening to all of Roll The Bones, or just that one track? What are your thoughts on that album? I get the feeling most of Rush's longtime fans hate it. I didn't get into the band until around Vapor Trails, though, so I can only look "back" at it...and I think it's pretty good.


Artanis I - Welcome back! It's cool to see you here again...don't be a stranger. It's nice that you're getting into If I Could Fly, too. If you have the time, go back in the archives to April 2004 and check out everyone's comments on the song. It was an early favorite...

And...I don't remember where in Australia you live...have the fires affected you at all?


Glitz Man - I missed U2's Grammy performance. I assume they did their new single, Get On Your Boots? I've listened to that song a few times and it didn't really grab me (the same is true of Vertigo from their last album). I'm still excited that they're making new music though...
GoldenGirl2 - I knew before he came to the US that Al hated U2, so I made sure to not have any in my car's CD player when he was with me. But there was one night where we got stuck in some crazy traffic in LA, and I ended up having to change CDs earlier than I thought. I almost put U2's Boy in...I asked him if it'd be OK and I got a look and a "I REALLY don't like them." I'm not sure if he ever told me why, though...
FX - Wow...I'm glad to hear you're OK! I hope you and the police are able to figure out what happened. Are your kidneys permanently damaged, or will they be back to normal in time?
cheese101 - Thanks for those videos...I didn't know Joe had ever played Hill Groove live (I guess maybe he still hasn't, technically, but that's close).
dream3 - I heard a few hours ago at work that they caught the guy and have charged him with arson. It's good to hear...I can't begin to think what makes people do stuff like that.

Someone set a fire here in California a couple of years ago and it ended up killing five firefighters. People should never have to die because of stupid stuff like this...argh.


Listening to: Yes - Fragile (current song: an early rough mix of Roundabout, included as a bonus track)

Another bonus track included on this album (the 2003 Rhino reissue) is their version of Paul Simon's America...I love the riff from 8:22-8:33.

Anyway...

...Austin...

Edited Thu Feb 12 '09 11:12 pm

Thu Feb 12 '09 11:11:27 pm Set this message as last read

Satriella
Satriella Walker
Sudbury, Suffolk
United Kingdom
1783 posts total | IP Logged

you know you have been Too long in London when...

1. You say "the City" and expect everyone to know which one.

2. You have never been to The Tower or Madame Tussauds but love Brighton.

3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Shepherds Bush to Elephant & Castle at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Dorset on a map.

4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.

5. You step over people who collapse on the Tube.

6. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.

7. You've considered stabbing someone.

8. Your door has more than three locks.

9. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.

10. You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a garden.

11. You consider Essex the "countryside".

12. You think Hyde Park is "nature".

13. You're paying £1,200 a month for a studio the size of a walk-in wardrobe and you think it's a "bargain".

14. Shopping in suburban supermarkets and shopping malls gives you a severe attack of agoraphobia.

15. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the UK pay in rent.

16. You pay 3 pounds without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28p.

17. You actually take fashion seriously.

18. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone.

19. The UK west of Heathrow is still theoretical to you.

20. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.

21. Your idea of personal space is no one actually physically standing on you.

22. £50 worth of groceries fit in one plastic bag.

23. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories.

24. You don't hear sirens anymore.

25. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air/water quality and what it's doing to your insides.

26. You live in a building with a larger population than most towns.

27. Your cleaner is Portuguese, your grocer is Somali, your butcher is halal, your deli man is Israeli, your landlord is Italian, your laundry guy is Philippino, your bartender is Australian, your favourite diner owner is Greek, the watch seller on your corner is Senegalese, your last cabbie was African, your newsagent is Indian and your local English chippie owner is Turkish.

28. You wouldn't want to live anywhere else until you get married.

29. You roll your eyes and say 'tsk' at the news that someone has thrown himself under a tube train.

30. Your day is ruined if you don't get a copy of Metro on the way to work.

Fri Feb 13 '09 2:08:53 am Set this message as last read

Satriella
Satriella Walker
Sudbury, Suffolk
United Kingdom
1783 posts total | IP Logged

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it. Don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO... Cocoa beans... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! what a ride!"

Fri Feb 13 '09 3:10:20 am Set this message as last read

Satriella
Satriella Walker
Sudbury, Suffolk
United Kingdom
1783 posts total | IP Logged

Men and women differ...

NICKNAMES

• If Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Suzanne, Kate and Sarah.

• If Mike, Charlie, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Sh*t-Head and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

• When the bill arrives, Mike, Charlie, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.

• When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY

• A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.

• A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale

BATHROOMS

• A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from M&S.

• The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS

• A woman has the last word in any argument.

• Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

CATS

• Women love cats.

• Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

FUTURE

• A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

• A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS

• A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

• A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

• A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

• A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

• A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.

• A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

• Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

• Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

• Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secretfears and hopes and dreams.

• A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

• Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

• What a woman says: C'mon...This place is a mess. You and I need to clean.Your trousers are on the floor and you'll have no clothes if we don't do the laundry now.

• What a man hears: C'MON ... blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW

Fri Feb 13 '09 3:13:35 am Set this message as last read

wolf2

6365 posts total | IP Logged
...hey,did my income tax the other day.I do my income tax myself hey man Now they changed the income tax form,s anyways every year I do my own income tax and it`s alway`s perfect this year I get exactly only 100 .00 dollar`s` back and i realy had to wiggle that out of it buddy I shouldnt say that well you might know this but Canada`s taxation department`s are the most profitable of any country in the world hey man so it`s not too good when it come`s income tax time brother it`s like their trying to cruciy you when your doing your tax`s!. So yep been out before the majority of my snow melted on my ski-doo my formula with my new grip`s,they are real nice i felt something release in my body when i dismantled and removed the old defective heated grip`s feel`s easier on my body like easier flowing blood not locked these new grip`s are called I gnition from Canadaian tire not heated I cleaned the bar`s` with steel wool rubber siliconed the grip`s` on then safety wired the grip`s` on the bar now these are synthetic rubber hey man man made rubber like not natural i did alot of riding the performance is very well but i had a bath man from these grips the water drained half of it then it stopped waited about a minuted started draining again theirs no plumbing problem my septiic tank is empty picture the bathtub pipe just drining onto the floor but these new grip`s` did it hey man i looked them up before i bought them and they do do that,it`s` the synthetic`s you wouldnt even notice in a shower well maybe but different mailed my income tax return in yesterday in 6 week`s` i will be exactly 100.00 dollar`s` richer whoopy! anywa`s` more coffee later wolf2.
Fri Feb 13 '09 4:55:46 am Set this message as last read

McDave

Cook, MN

Plays: Guitar (40 years)
1830 posts total | IP Logged
FX....suspicious is an understatement. My first thought was that someone you trust is slipping it to you in your food and drink. Do you have a life insurance policy with a big payoff? Dude be careful...
Fri Feb 13 '09 5:47:58 am Set this message as last read

michelle

8476 posts total | IP Logged

damn, at least if she would have used ecstasy he might have had more fun on the way out.

j/k

What a nasty thing to do. Speedy recovery dude!

Fri Feb 13 '09 7:39:46 am Set this message as last read

cosmic_ape
Aron Ortega
Plays: Guitar (25 years)
1138 posts total | IP Logged


Al, nobody else confirms if the rg2550zl is going to be available... at least not in the States... It's a mistery...
Fri Feb 13 '09 7:42:18 am Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged


13 Facts About Friday the 13th

by LiveScience Staff

If you fear Friday the 13th, then batten down the hatches. This week's unlucky day is the first of three this year.

The next Friday the 13th comes in March, followed by Nov. 13. Such a triple whammy comes around only every 11 years, said Thomas Fernsler, a math specialist at the University of Delaware who has studied the number 13 for more than 20 years.

By the numbers

Here are 13 more facts about the infamous day, courtesy of Fernsler and some of our own research:

1. The British Navy built a ship named Friday the 13th. On its maiden voyage, the vessel left dock on a Friday the 13th, and was never heard from again.

2. The ill-fated Apollo 13 launched at 13:13 CST on Apr. 11, 1970. The sum of the date's digits (4-11-70) is 13 (as in 4+1+1+7+0 = 13). And the explosion that crippled the spacecraft occurred on April 13 (not a Friday). The crew did make it back to Earth safely, however.

3. Many hospitals have no room 13, while some tall buildings skip the 13th floor.

4. Fear of Friday the 13th - one of the most popular myths in science - is called paraskavedekatriaphobia as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13.

5. Quarterback Dan Marino wore No. 13 throughout his career with the Miami Dolphins. Despite being a superb quarterback, he got to the Super Bowl just once, in 1985, and was trounced 38-16 by the San Francisco 49ers and Joe Montana (who wore No. 16 and won all four Super Bowls he played in).

6. Butch Cassidy, notorious American train and bank robber, was born on Friday, April 13, 1866.

7. Fidel Castro was born on Friday, Aug. 13, 1926.

8. President Franklin D. Roosevelt would not travel on the 13th day of any month and would never host 13 guests at a meal. Napoleon and Herbert Hoover were also triskaidekaphobic, with an abnormal fear of the number 13.

9. Superstitious diners in Paris can hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.

10. Mark Twain once was the 13th guest at a dinner party. A friend warned him not to go. "It was bad luck," Twain later told the friend. "They only had food for 12."

11. Woodrow Wilson considered 13 his lucky number, though his experience didn't support such faith. He arrived in Normandy, France on Friday, Dec. 13, 1918, for peace talks, only to return with a treaty he couldn't get Congress to sign. (The ship's crew wanted to dock the next day due to superstitions, Fernsler said.) He toured the United States to rally support for the treaty, and while traveling, suffered a near-fatal stroke.

12. The number 13 suffers from its position after 12, according to numerologists who consider the latter to be a complete number - 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles of Jesus, 12 days of Christmas and 12 eggs in a dozen.

13. The seals on the back of a dollar bill include 13 steps on the pyramid, 13 stars above the eagle's head, 13 war arrows in the eagle's claw and 13 leaves on the olive branch. So far there's been no evidence tying these long-ago design decisions to the present economic situation.

Origins of Friday the 13th

Where's all this superstition come from? Nobody knows for sure. But it may date back to Biblical times (the 13th guest at the Last Supper betrayed Jesus). By the Middle Ages, both Friday and 13 were considered bearers of bad fortune.

Meanwhile the belief that numbers are connected to life and physical things - called numerology.

"You can trace it all the way from the followers of Pythagoras, whose maxim to describe the universe was 'all is number,'" says Mario Livio, an astrophysicist and author of "The Equation That Couldn't Be Solved". Thinkers who studied under the famous Greek mathematician combined numbers in different ways to explain everything around them, Livio said.

Fri Feb 13 '09 7:46:03 am Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

Glitz Man

I started running in late 2005 or so.

The valpo mini is still open - it is April 11 I think.



Edited Fri Feb 13 '09 7:47 am

Fri Feb 13 '09 7:47:13 am Set this message as last read

Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged


Heart Attacks And Drinking Warm Water


This is a very good article. Not only about warm water after your meal, but about Heart Attacks.

The Chinese and Japanese drink hot tea with their meals, not cold water, maybe it is time we adopt their drinking habit.

For those who like to drink cold water, this article is applicable to you. It's nice to have a cup of cold drink after a meal.

However, the cold water will solidify the oily stuff that you have just consumed. It will slow down the digestion. Once this 'sludge' reacts with the acid, it will break down and be absorbed by the intestine faster than the solid food. It will line the intestine. Very soon, this will turn into fats and lead to cancer. It is best to drink hot soup or warm water after a meal.

Common Symptoms Of Heart Attack A serious note about heart attacks - You should know that not every heart attack symptom is going to be the left arm hurting. Be aware of intense pain in the jaw line. You may never have the first chest pain during the course of a heart attack.

Nausea and intense sweating are also common symptoms. 60% of people who have a heart attack while they are asleep do not wake up. Pain in the jaw can wake you from a sound sleep. Let's be careful and be aware. The more we know, the better chance we can survive.

Fri Feb 13 '09 7:54:00 am Set this message as last read

michelle

8476 posts total | IP Logged

T, in this lesson you posted, Joe is saying "you're thinking well that's pretty weird, but if I go ~~~ you're thinking well that's pretty nice ~~ and then you're thinking where's he going now ~~ then I do something weird like that?" and laughs. I don't know why, but that last laugh hit my funny bone!! Joe is on his on universe when it comes to guitar. Every time he starts explaining his musicology, you can tell how much he wants everyone to get it. He has so much guitar knowledge in his head it's a wonder his hair left him! There just wasn't enough room for both!

I'm still groovin' to this one. My FAV part is at 2:30 :- )



Edited Fri Feb 13 '09 8:11 am

Fri Feb 13 '09 8:06:32 am Set this message as last read

Blue_Moon
Alan McKenna
Dublin
Ireland
Plays: Guitar (23 years)
6317 posts total | IP Logged
another fact for friday the 14th is al passing his driving test, oh yes, i can legally cruise for chicks and hookers and dirnk and drive, awsome


and dont knock mr manilow, he's the bees knees
Fri Feb 13 '09 8:11:19 am Set this message as last read

punkdude75
Miguel Chavez
Chi-town, Illinois
USA
Plays: Guitar (36 years)
829 posts total | IP Logged
zappa plays zappa and DT,, can`t wait for that one
Fri Feb 13 '09 8:38:30 am Set this message as last read

hybes
Mark Hybers
Plays: Guitar (18 years)
547 posts total | IP Logged

Glitzman - thanks for asking about me and the fam. We are good. Had many close calls though. I have some good pics of a wall cloud and a funnel starting to form across the street from my house. I'll try to get them on the sight. Amazing stuff. Shame people lost lives though. I give it up to the storm chasers in this state. They can pinpoint a twister to cross streets and intersections. They are amazing people. Someone my wife works with lost a roof and a barn. In fact I saw his barn flying through the air on the Today Show the day after. They were all safe though. There have been some wild forces of nature over the past year. Over in the Do the Stu land, they have been getting hit with everything....fire, earthquake, wind, sea spouts and the largest debt in state history. Crazy times.

Hold our breath and hope everyone makes it through ok.

Michelle you still employed?

Fri Feb 13 '09 8:53:17 am Set this message as last read

wolf2

6365 posts total | IP Logged
....Hey if I tell you something that is 100% truth dont think it,s nut`s. Last year when i went to the postoffice to mail my incometax to the goverment ,the post office here is all goverment of Canada employee`s hey Joe anyway`s the head psotmaster told me that ottawa parliment said if this income tax was perfect and done myself they would release me!.Buddy i have several goverment of Canada micro chips the first one ever was the one they put in ,in public school because i am agangster when they turn it on they can set sterngth around my heart and chest muscle to control me the second one is my monitor the third one is the one dissabilty put in to assist with my movements anyways that income tax was perfect they released my heart the other day working on my ski-doo as my goverment wives were driving by buddy thats the truth if i get out of line or the police something happens they will hold it again they can make the temperature around my heart hot or cold to effect my brain they installed that in like grade 6 early grade six oh yeah brother this is no place to be a gangster their always doing weird stuff to me i have 4 micro chips actualy they installed another one at priovidence continuing care psychaitric hospital in kingston in 98 that a new monitor plus they still use the old one this is the truth man tottaly brother no word of alie if this income tax come back perfect aswell they will do some amazing things to me! anyway`s later wolf2.
Fri Feb 13 '09 8:59:02 am Set this message as last read

Donkey Hotay

3984 posts total | IP Logged

Hmm looks like insurance rates including of course automobile insurance will be skyrocketting in the UK (and particularly Ireland)....

Coincidence????? Hmmmmmm..

Fri Feb 13 '09 9:04:15 am Set this message as last read

cosmic_ape
Aron Ortega
Plays: Guitar (25 years)
1138 posts total | IP Logged


ibanez_god, I did the same, but it looks like this guitar has a sasquatch complex... there's no clear evidence it exists...

I read in many places you could not order a custom item from Ibanez anymore, so I don't know when they changed their story... If one could actually do that, I'd probably get something else...


Fri Feb 13 '09 9:28:31 am Set this message as last read

Donkey Hotay

3984 posts total | IP Logged

Since Cappy is away at sea guess a few pirate jokes are safe:

Pirate goes into a bar and orders a beer. Barkeep looks at him and says, "Hey, there's a giant steering wheel sticking out of your pants!"

"Arrrhhh", says the pirate. "It's driving me nuts!"

A pirate goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep notices he's wearing a paper towel for a hat, and asks him, "Hey; what's up with the paper towel?"

"Arrrr," says the pirate, "I've got a bounty on me head."

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they Arrrrrr!

Pirate walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Bartenders asks him about his peg-leg. Pirate says, "Bit off by a shark." Bartenders asks about the hook on his right hand. Pirate says, "Bit off by a killer whale." Bartenders asks about his eye patch. Pirate says, "Bird poop." "What?" replies the bartender. "How can you lose an eye to bird poop?" The pirate says, "First day with the hook."

and one non-pirate joke to demonstrate:

Why Sentence Structure is Important

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'

'Could you jack off?' she says. 'I feel like crap.'"

Fri Feb 13 '09 9:44:04 am Set this message as last read
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