Since Cappy is away at sea guess a few pirate jokes are safe:

Pirate goes into a bar and orders a beer. Barkeep looks at him and says, "Hey, there's a giant steering wheel sticking out of your pants!"

"Arrrhhh", says the pirate. "It's driving me nuts!"

A pirate goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barkeep notices he's wearing a paper towel for a hat, and asks him, "Hey; what's up with the paper towel?"

"Arrrr," says the pirate, "I've got a bounty on me head."

Why are pirates called pirates?

Because they Arrrrrr!

Pirate walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Bartenders asks him about his peg-leg. Pirate says, "Bit off by a shark." Bartenders asks about the hook on his right hand. Pirate says, "Bit off by a killer whale." Bartenders asks about his eye patch. Pirate says, "Bird poop." "What?" replies the bartender. "How can you lose an eye to bird poop?" The pirate says, "First day with the hook."

and one non-pirate joke to demonstrate:

Why Sentence Structure is Important

The boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people, Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'

Hybes, as far as I know I am. I go back Monday. Since I left the day after 14 people were fired, everything has changed. I have no idea what's going on. It was nice being off to avoid all that crap, but now I have to go back and figure it all out. I haven't talked to any of my co-workers in 4 weeks. (shit man, yeah!) I'm not giving any of them my number either. lol! Work days are enough shared time, thank you anyway. lol! I'll be walking into a whole new situation on Monday, so by Monday night I might be found at the bottom of a good bottle of wine. Stay safe! My heart goes out to all those affected by these horrible disasters.

Al, congrats! Now go out proper and get some hookers!

Chelle, Joe's smile is mega-watt and just lights everything up, dunt it :) And I think yer on to something there with the hair...guess he just couldn't have both, lol!!! Genius I tells ya!! And groove away honey, it's a fine way to spend the day, wish I could too!! It would be kinda cool if Joe would do a show for us without the glasses...I so love watching his expressions as he plays...so much heart and soul goes into every song, every time....with the glasses you can see facial expressions, but without, adding in those eyes....WOO! :)

Mckenna, congrats honey, but u must live in an alternate universe where it's Friday the 14th...ya eedgit!! Don't drink and drive neither or I'll hunt you down!! Now I have another reason why not to drive in Ireland...Mckenna is legal and on the loose!! GAH!! ;)

Mr. McKenna--A promise is a promise the world over! Ya better listen to T., Michelle and me. I wish you had an old man's brain so you don't keep drinkin yourself into the unknown........way into the unknown!! Enuff said here! ;-/

Michelle and T. What are we gonna do about this young man who takes so many luni risks when drinking? Gaaaaahhhh!!

Slans--It's your turn to admonish Al. I still think he could be your nephew! So what you say has much weight.

Wal-Mart Greeter Job

As my retirement investments have taken such a beating this last year, I thought I should look for some supplemental income.

So, I got a job as a Wal-Mart greeter -- a good find for many retirees ? however, I lasted less than a day ...

About two hours into my first day a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. As I had been instructed, I said pleasantly, 'Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?'

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, 'Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind or just stupid?'

So I replied, 'I'm neither blind nor stupid, ma'am, I just can't believe you got laid twice. Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart.'

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.

GGirl, nah nah nah. Ya got me all wrong. No way am I trying to stop Al from drinking. It's the national past time in Ireland, and I'm not getting in the way of that! I just like to remind him that he's not making friends with his liver. Then again, anyone taking anti-depressants and most other meds are doing even worse than Al's occasional weekend bender. Don't wish him an old brain. Wish him a good liver. Besides, me and Al are gonna be meeting for a good piss up one of these days. He can't stop now!

Cause we find ourselves in the same ol' mess singin' drunkin' lullabies!

and please GOD let me live long enuff to be a first-hand eye witness to the drunken piss contest :))))))))))))))))))))

OH YEAH....GOOD TIMES MAN, LOL!!

LMMFAO!!!

T, a piss up, not drunkin' piss contest. That's a whoooole other level of drunkeness, and I do believe McBB would win. Especially if there's snow!

It's RAINING...awesome! :-)

Blue_Moon - Congrats!

I need to give Hemispheres a spin soon...I haven't listened to that album nearly enough.

chelly-belly, I knew xactly what you meant and I still say it'll turn into a drunken piss contest in it's highest form....it'll be a work of art, truly :)))))) LOL!!!!

But yeah, I so gotta be there fer it...later this year and don't say no MCKENNA, u know u miss us terribly and wanna come back...there's a nice comfy bed in it somewheres fer ya, if that'll hep.....and yer buddy....

CHICKENPA 2009 HELL YEAH!!!

Be afraid Joe.....be very afraid.....mischief afoot, don't think not!!! LOL!!