WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll - Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes - Can they levitate and fly into the kitchen sink?
Examples on video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 6
Loss Of Identity - Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things - Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8
Health Watch - Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights: Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost - Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11
Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14
The Stove/Oven - What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Just saw a picture of the firefighter giving the koala a drink of water from a water bottle. Makes me wanna bawl my head off. These kind of fires suck so bad. I can't imagine the devastation to humans and animals. God Bless you all who are living in this horror.

There's been a rash of arson around here. In Coatsville, somebody is going around to back porches and lighting trash cans or whatever they have that's flammable on fire. The other week it burnt up 15 row homes on one block. They've had 30 cases of arson so far this year. Yesterdays news they caught an arsonist in another set of fires. It was a feckin' 19 year old skinny little girl! WTF is wrong with these idiots? People are losing everything they own, and could possibly lose their lives - all for kicks? It's sick.

ahh well, back to better thoughts

sway with me al :- )

lol!

and who says talent doesn't trickle down - JT's boy

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME

AND THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:

1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:

Marrying you has screwed up my life.

2. My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;

This describes everything you are not.

4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss,

But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed.

5. I thought that I could love no other

-- that is until I met your brother.

6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

7. I want to feel your sweet embrace;

But don't take that paper bag off your face.

8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

9. I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

10. My feelings for you no words can tell,

Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

11. What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

WHO SAID POETRY IS BORING?

best laugh of the day

DON'T FEED THE TROLL!

David Finn aka F042958

10 times more talented??? do you realize how stupid of a comment that is, ON THIS SITE!! lol

Go back to your gay ass coldplay site and whine there. Have some class. There is nothing you are going to do here to discredit Joe or make him look bad.

GFY!

TheFireman

Mr. McKenna--Great soulful guitar in your vid! That Satch guitar bug is so contagious it even plays with your eyebrows in mysterious ways! ;-)

Yeah, man....U2 is definitely NOT your cup of tea! That's crystal clear. If everyone liked what U2 did, they prolly "wouldn't be playing anything of depth." As Joshua Redman says.

I'm reading ZEN GUITAR by Philip Toshio Sudo. At the beginning of the chapter "Discipline" a quote from Steve Vai, "It takes a lot of discipline to be very proficient on your instrument.....You have to really exercise your willpower.......reach down really deep within and pull out stuff you never knew you had, strength you never bothered to find before."

A Steve Vai album on CD landed in my hand at a local record store and the price was so low, I had to buy it! "Passion and Warfare." OMG! AND Amazon sent me G3 Live Rockin'in the Free World! That makes 8 Satch albums in my house! My Steve had to get "Raising Sand" the CD Robert Plant and Alison Krauss made together--songs sounded great at the Grammys and on our sonic/stereo/audio system. Nice to hear Robert Plant collaborating with a country singer and branching out in singing. The "twirly thing" he talked about when accepting one of the awards has to do with rock/blues singing with it's twists and turns, bends and curls. Not unlike what Joe does with his guitar riffs/notes.

No one squeezes spiral staircases of joy out of a guitar like Joe--No one!

Maritime--I miss you already...Please come back.

Michelle and Tracie--Go ahead and keep spicing this board up--I dare you!

HeatherShow--Welcome to the T2J forum. It seems like some people have been here for years. I am a relative newcomer, having discovered this place in November. What's your favorite Satch song?

Al--Do I belong to the group of lunis on here?

Hey everyone,

Just found out the results from the run. I was 17th out of 256 for that run. 30 other participants were not able to do it.

Do the Stu: Thank you for the kind words about my run. The weather here is in the 40's-50's right now and I am trying to take as much advantage as I can to get out and run. This Saturday's run, the temperatures will be dropping to about the 30's, which is cool. I try to run in cooler/colder temperatures more. The warm and hot weathers is what I do well in when I run. By the way, I have heard of the band Yes, but from their popular song "Owner of a Lonely Heart," which is one of my favorite rock songs.

Igneousiceman: Thanks for the praise on my run. I just found out I was 17th overall out of over 250, which is pretty good.

Skippygirl: I am glad with my time. It is my best starting time in all of my races. Glad you liked the tye-dye that I was wearing. I am meeting with my running group later tonight. We have had 50 degree weather here, so I am trying to take as much advantage as I can before the temperatures start to drop in the 30's. How are you doing since these fires?

Dream3 & roo: How are you guys holding up with all of these fires?

Michelle: I saw the footage of the koala bear. Glad to hear that the bear is doing okay and being taken care of. Sorry to hear about all of the arson that is happening around your area. We have had graffiti (gangs who are spraypainting houses, stores, walls, etc.) going on around here for quite a while. Saw the Fanfire website. How are things going for you in Pennsylvania? I'm trying to take as much advantage as I can with this weather in Indiana. We have had 50 degree weather and today is the last day of it. I meet with my running group later tonight. Tomorrow the temperatures will drop (30's over the weekend).

GoldenGirl2: Just saw your post. How are you and Steve doing? I hope the weather over there is cooperating in California. Good for you on getting "Raising Sand." I am glad that Robert Plant and Alison Kraus beat Coldplay in their Grammy categories. Congrats on another Satch album. Which Satch Albums are you still trying to find. If you like, I can help search around for you. I know there are a lot of Satch Albums off of E-Bay. You might want to check them out.

Cheese101: Tracie (T-Bone), how are things going with you? I hope things are going well with you and the family in Oregon.

Blue_Moon: Alan, good luck again on your driving test. By the way, how many songs have you wrote?

Satriella: It is all good. I should be glad that I got to see & say hi to him, and get his books signed. Neat jokes/riddles you have posted.

Zinc Master: I did not know you also run. That is awesome!Are you planning on doing the Indy-Mini? I will not because all the entries are filled? Best of luck to you on your 5K's and the indoor triathalon. I thought about doing one, but I don't do much biking. Let me know how it all went down, and I'll let you how my races are going as well, my Indy Native. By the way, I really enjoyed that story/joke of "What Starts with F and Ends with K." I was laughing so hard. The temperatures here in Fort Wayne got to above 50. Tomorrow the temperatures will start dropping so I am taking as much advantage as I can when I go outside and run. I meet with my running group tonight.

HeatherShow: Welcome to our fan site. Great to hear from you. How's everything in D.C. going for you?

Ibanezplyr: Virtuoso Awards? Not a bad idea. How are you and that foot of yours doing?

Punkdude75: Heath Ledger SHOULD & WILL win the Best Supporting Actor at the Oscars HANDS DOWN!! With that performance he did, no other actor can beat him in that category.

XtremeAlien: I never thought about seeing Joe doing a jazz album. It would be kind of interesting.

To all the other T2Jers: Hope you are all doing well.

Glitz Man

Great run !!

I did the Indy Mini last year - this year I will do the Valpo Mini again - closer to home.

And u Alan, being the head of the lunis, would of corse know:)

Millie, Millie, Millie...you never....EVER....ask a question like that unless you meant to leave yerself wide open, LOL....wait for it.....

Glitzman, things are just the same here, but with some snow to navigate around in. Cold and icy out there, I prefare to be home under my warm blanket :)

I well remember tornado season when we lived in Oklahoma....very scary....immense thunderstorms sometimes, even if they didn't turn into tornados they were damn scary enough. And Feb is a bit early, the season usually doesn't start till at least March. Hope it's not a sign of more bad things to come :(

I think the earth is rebelling against us, for the abuse we've given it. Maybe? We need to take better care I'm thinkin.

Al McKenna--Come on, man! Just admit, you love lunis!

Michelle and Tracie--Don't lunis like Joe's music, too?

"He ain't heavy. He's my brother!" Who performed this song back in the 1960s? I don't think it was the Beatles or the Yardbirds or the Stones.

Tracie--Yup. I had that coming..That's what happens when I ask too many questions! LOL!

Al--Thanks for the vote of confidence! Hee hee!

Now I have some serious/fun listening to do--Joe and Steve the Vai-Master!

DoTheStu--With you on this forum, life is friggin' fantastic! Thanks for checking in!

Igneousiceman - Have you heard of Pen Island? I came across the site a few years ago...it's a joke similar to the one you just mentioned. They were legit, as far as I could tell (and yes, I think they knew what they were doing), but their pens are out of stock now...