Yup did all that Al, sounds good yip but just thought i,d Q as i,ve Eastwests Symphony Orchestra Gold samples which sound godlike awesome & wanted t use that instead as a plug in with reason....hmmm i think i,ll just stick t pro tracks plus as a 16 track midi sequencer on d other computer & fire that t the mac as an audio track...anyhoos have t rest feel like someones been playin footie with my eyeballs

Michelle:-My family's thoughts and prayers for your sister Brenda are with you and your family as we know what you must be feeling right now.I have an Aunty Brenda who went through the same thing several years ago and although it was touch and go for a long while after surgery, she's very happy and healthy all these years later.Stay positive and keep your chin up.Big warm hugs to you and yours.

Nice to see some Blue...HELLO JOE! Funny enough I just emailed someone saying how nice it will be when the DVD comes out....twill bring back some lovely memories from the tour...best yet I feel! Do You own any video/dvds of concerts that you were at, or at least you went to see the band in question on that tour? When was the last concert you actually went to? ....maybe its just one of the many things you have to sacrifice when you are so busy being a musician?

Scubadaz - Good luck with the job!

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Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services: 1. The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

3. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

4. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

5. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

6. Don't let worry kill you off, let the Church help.

7. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

8. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

9. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

10. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."

11. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

12. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

13. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What Is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

14. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

15. Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

16. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

17. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

18. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00pm. Prayer and medication to follow.

19. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

20. This evening at 7pm there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

21. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10am. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. is done.

22. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

23. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7pm. Please use the back door.

24. The primary 7's will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

25. Weight Watchers will meet at 7pm at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

hahaha

Aeronautical points

1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory

2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.

3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.

4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than up there wishing you were down here.

5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

6. The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.

7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.

8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.

9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.

10. You know you've landed with the wheels up if it takes full power to taxi to the ramp.

11. The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and vice versa.

12. Never let an aircraft take you somewhere your brain didn't get to five minutes earlier.

13. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.

14. Always try to keep the number of landing you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.

15. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what these are.

16. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

17. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.

18. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.

19. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.

20. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.

21. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.

22. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.

23. Remember, gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's not subject to repeal.

24. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.

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Technical Support

Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong?
Tech support: OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right?
Customer: Yeah.
Tech support: And what sort of computer are you using?
Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.....
Tech support: Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah.................... thank you.

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...

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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P"... on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!

oh dear....who would be a technical support person eh!

Not sure Al lookin through the program, i have the old Kontact Eastwest Gold version so not sure y can change the file format NKS , gotta say the new V looks stunning tho

Y can hear the samples how they are supposed t be used here

think i,ve a bit t go b4 that kind o arrangement can be attained bloodyell

Prayers to your sister Michelle.

Maritime - Sorry to hear about your sudden illness. Hope you are better soon.

Joe ! !

JOE, yer always here when we need you. I took a phone pic of yer message and sent it to my sisters just in case surgery is running a bit late. I always tell my sisters (and anyone who will listen) what a great guy you are. Now they can see it for themselves. I love ya Joe. Thanks. You have no idea what this means to me.

Thanks everyone for the prayers and good vibes.

Fatape, thanks for telling me about yer Auntie Brenda. I'm glad she's well now.

Skippy, I hope yer bro-in-law is right as rain these days.

Hi fellow Satch fans!

Cup of Tea

Only a Mother would know

One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old.. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home.

My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I came down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watched him drink it up.

Burly - I couldn't agree more. When I made my comment about Sammy having played with Eddie, I was really saying that it was a huge compliment! Sammy has played with some great ones, and if he says you're the best...that's saying alot.

Thanks guys

I got a call from my sister. The doc is having complications with his first surgery, so my sis will have to wait another 2 - 3 hours! She might not get in the surgery suite until 5:00 tonight! That sucks for her. She's a mess. She was all ready to go, and now she has to wait - and she's so hungry she's getting pukey from her nerves. Poor thing. I just hope the doc has his wits and strength for my sisters surgery. My other sis is with her, so at least they have each other. My nephew (B's son) booked out. He couldn't take it so his mum told him to go home. Now my sis will be alone after B goes into surgery :-/

I hope the docs first patient is okay....

roo - you lucky bugger, can I carry your bags to Europe? I really hope Joe tours down here with Chickenfoot, alone, hell anybody. My brother bought me "Legendary Guitar Licks" DVD for Xmas, the one by Danny Gill - I put it on the other night and it confirmed there is no way I could ever learn a Satch song for about 10 years......I turned it off.

Chelle - by now hopefully your sis is in recovery, and on the mend permanently, must be an aura of good vibes floating round her at the moment from T2Jers, Joe, everyone.

Skippy Girl,

Latest teaching for kids here, not sure if it's worldwide thinking, is to learn lead guitar (or "note" playing) before chords.

It makes sense really, chords require control over every finger to cleanly fret the notes and bridge neatly over others because you're playing more than one string.

I learnt chords first and it's good for simple "koom-by-ya" style songs, but it can be very frustrating (as you've found) with complex chords.

My boy started learning guitar recently and he's 8. He can play the first melody line to "Ten Words" and learnt it in one sitting. If you pick something like that you get enourmous satisfaction from hearing the melody and learning more fingering techniques but only with one or 2 fingers at a time.

If you look at the tab book for "Always" (the first satch song I learnt), and ten words, and many others, there are recognisable melodies that are not difficult to learn fairly rapidly. That is great fun. Then, every time you play them, you improve your feeling, style, method, etc... And can flip through other material spotting easier sections of melodies you like and learning them.

Give that a go, especially Ten Words, let me know how that goes.

Be prepared to hit a brick wall when you get to the "tricky" bits in each song though! :) It will take a while to start learning the method of doing the faster bits with bends and stretches, etc when you hit them.