Ozzy I try really hard to overcome the Arkansas Redneck stereotype. Which is quite difficult being around them every day. This is where they wrote all of the redneck material. And it's funny you mention, If you think most Americans butcher the English language you should visit the southern U.S.

It's hard to play guitar with your fret hand shoved in your a@@!

I,m interested t know how t stop this from happening

lucas--What's your point of posting the same thing over and over again? Please stop for the sake of everyone in T2J.

Blue_Moon--Thanks for the sweet post of ALL ALONE. Very well done. I love the way you and your guitar create such great emotions/feelings.

Ya see how far behind I get when someone abuses this forum, sorry to say! It makes me feel very old, tired and sad!

A teacher was doing a study testing the senses (taste) of first graders using a bowl of lifesavers.

The children began to identify the flavours by their colour:

Red........................Cherry

Orange ...............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. After eating them, none of the children could identify the taste.

'Well,' she said, 'I will give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father.'

An old country doctor went way out to the boondocks to deliver a baby. It was so far out that there was no electricity.

When the doctor arrived, no one was home except for the laboring mother, and her five-year-old child.

The doctor instructed the child to hold a lantern high, so he could see while he delivered the baby. The child did so, as the mother pushed, and after a little while, the doctor lifted the newborn baby by the feet and spanked him on the bottom to get him to take his first breath.

The doctor then asked the five-year-old what he thought of the baby?

After being married for 37 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 37 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, we slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but every night I got to sleep with a hot, 21-year-old gal.

"Now I have a $500,000 home, a $45,000 car, a nice big bed and a plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 58-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot, 21-year-old gal, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.

Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis!

mikesb

I think they were thank you posts to Joe for this great forum.

Well - back to work

Random Things to Think About

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about

seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

they don't call me the cheese-inator fer nuthin :) lol!

hey joe how are you , when you gonna set the new tour on te site? its very inportent to me because i 'am a big fan of yours