The Pope and the Jew

Several centuries ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave the Vatican. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If the Pope won, the Jews would leave. The Jews realized that they had no choice. So they picked an elderly aged man named Moishe to represent them. Rabbi Moishe's Latin wasn't very good - in fact, he knew very little--but he was a man of great faith and well respected in the Jewish community. The pope agreed. What could be easier than a silent debate?

The day of the great debate came. Moishe and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Moishe looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Moishe pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Moishe pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, "I give up. This man is too good. The Jews can stay."

An hour later, the cardinals were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple to remind me of original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"

Meanwhile, the Jewish community had crowded around Moishe. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Moishe, "First he said to me that the Jews had three days to get out of here. I told him that not one of us was leaving. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Jews. I let him know that we were staying right here." "And then?" asked a woman. "I don't know," said Moishe. "He took out his lunch and I took out mine."

guitarvibes - that was a good one!

Happy Easter to those who follow it. Am now bloated from a big family lunch and way too much chocolate, the only day of the year I eat it.

I am stuck on Ten Words, and not far in (*blush*) - the guy in the youtoob vid came up with some crazy chord where you barre the 3rd fret and then slide your 3rd finger on the G string from 4th to 5th fret , then hit the 5th and 6th strings together (is that a double-stop?) and then slide your 3rd finger back from the 5th fret to the 4th - WTF?????? It was going great until he came up with that aarrgghhhhh...........

Latest South Park highlight: Kanye West likes fishdicks
Kanye West in NME: South Park hurt my feelings

scuby - the GuitarPro tab my brother pdf'ed for me doesn't have any slides at all and not this funny set of chords either. It is picking single notes on the A and D strings.

scuby - I think it's bars 17 and 18 (as per the little numbers on the GPro tab).

Blue_Moon:- McKenna,seein's how you're always "never drinkin' again" ya might as well have a coupla pints for my liver as well !!! Cheers brother!

scuby - yes, the last 2 notes in that tab - he does this - 3rd fret/A string AND 5th fret G string (so two fingers) slide BOTH up 2 frets then come back and pick both in the original spot (can't see his right hand so must assume he hits A,D and G strings all at once?) THEN the start of the next bar is the funny barre chord thing 3rd fret barre, slide 4th/G to 5th, then pick both 5th and 6th strings together, then slide G back from 5 to 4.

Igneousiceman:- Flexable is definitely very weird but personally I think of it as the best album to showcase the very essence of who Steve Vai really is...Still very weird though!!!!

Roy- Thanks for the link,..another talented T2Jer. How did you record the album?. Did you use amp modeling software? The reason I ask is that I am in the planning stages of building a home studio. I have been asking some people for opinions, some are purist and like to mic the cabinet, but that gets to be pretty expensive. I would like to spend around $1500.00 at the most to get me up and running. I am looking at Pro Tools via Mbox. I think I can get entry level for that. Since I don't have electric drums I will probably get the digidesign virtual drummer add on.

Igneousiceman & fatape Latest Guitar World mag is full of Vai. Read it last week, he has a lot to tell!
Next month: Chickenfoot.

liar y were tree hundred n tirty tree n one turd

Burly:The guitar parts on the link were unfortunately all recorded on an old fujitsu 40GB comp with a barely functioning cracked cakewalk program and soundblaster Audigy soundcard *shiver* n mixed by a studio ignoramus at the time me scroll t bottom for info, so no 5 star studio production back then for ol slanshy bollox.Happy t say i,m sorted gear wise at last, the new recorded work sounds astonishing, really lookin forward t puttin it out there but y do need t knuckle down n put the hours in how t use it properly, took me 1 day t use but 1 1/2 t suss it all out

Pro Tools or logic pro 8 for eg with Pro Tools LE is an inexpensive but pro sounding rec app, but do yourself a favour n upgrade yer computer, some plugins require buckets of CPU power so have a core2 comp at hand with 4gb of ram and a decent external hard drive t store samples, it will save a LOT o headache, if y get that far mail me your home add n i,ll bag y some software apps, Reason4, Drumkit from Hell superior etc etc