just got back from the doc, here was his advice:

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember: 'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Here's a thought; Chickenfoot+Buckethead=(your answer here)

Kentucky Fried Bucket full of Chicken Heads and Foots

The keyboard player for Joe on Leno is definitely Phil Ahsley....... in case anyone missed my first reply ; ) he was cool as feck live

Do The Stu - that sounds like an amazing show. Pics pics pics... when you're back

Scuba - I agree AVG's great for a freebie, but a bit limited. I have a Symantec client that uses stuff all resource as well, and isn't the slightest bit annoying. So maybe it's just the versions you used at the time? The biggest back door anyone has is Windows... that's the worst problem!

... and eek, that sounds Tommy Iommi-esque (machine injury).

Igneous - definitely a bit far for me LOL. Something I always fancied doing was heading over and tackling some of the stages (parts of) that they use on Le Tour, mountain stages mainly. Days of suffering, now there's a holiday

Roo - enough... stop it... no more talk until piccy time cos that's just not fair.... or maybe a little more talk is allowed if you email me an advance pic : )

Cheese - ha ha, senility kicking in. I posted the Boogie link (Leno) after you posted Friends ha ha. How's Chris - is the stereo system still intact : )

Mowlie 2000 - how much was the guitar new and how long have you had it?

Skippygirl - ha ha, you know I meant the music, not the jacket. I can't see any mail from you, what's the subject line? You still watching your boy Webber?

LadyRebecca - as Michelle & GG2 have suggested, if you persevere you should be okay. An awesome guitarist who hasn't been here in a while (Paul "Clarky" Clark) broke his hand or fingers and still shreds like a monster. He's awesomely good so stick with it and hopefully all will be ok

Mikesb - lol, good one... I

Joe - know you're busy, but if you happen to spot this one could you tell us a little more about the "Peacock" JS100 that's in your collection please? Cheers

Hey, someone in the USA, let me know if there is a lottery coming up tomorrow (Saturday). I can get the results and then let you know so you can get a ticket on your tomorrow (Friday).

I'll split the winnings with you.

oh, whoops, sorry Phil, I was cruisin youtube and saw that vid of Joe before I ever went back to really read the posts and click on everyone's links....sometimes I click on the links in a marathon session, lol.....sorry I missed that u had already posted that!

Chris's equipment is still alive if u can believe it!!! He's not blowing so many things up anymore, LOL! But he did come by his nickname of Chrispie honestly =| He's really itchin to get ahold of a Time Machine and Big Bad Wah to go with his Satchurator.....$$$...must be made and saved, it's a TERRIBLE reality check, lol! He spent his April monies on his Chickenfoot ticket....so next month he can start saving.

Millie, I have no idea what time we're even landing in SF...the only thing I know fer sure at this point is, we'll be at the show. Beyond that, it's a crapshoot! But I'm sure you and your hubby will have a great time....I know WE will!!! Can't wait!!

Mikesb, Everyday is Elvis day for Yngwie! lol! Ohhh, so hot!

NOT!

mikesb:- Austin has a pic of YJM as Elvis??? I GOTTA see that!!!!

michelle:- You must've posted that while I was typing mine.Thanks for that. Apart from the hair,YJM DOES look like Elvis,hey?!?!

Yikes! I checked out kfox.com and found an article about Metallica's male fans giving their girlfriends to the members of the band. Lars said something about a guy coming up to him and saying "Please f***k my girlfriend" and he wasn't kidding! Lars said man, what are these guys thinking about? Where do they fit in the equation? Will the guy be around the corner jerking off!!? Gross!!

I'm glad I'm not a wife or girlfriend of any of those guys!

What planet are these guys from?

GoldenGirl2 ;-0

I know I will probably miss Joe being on tonight but I am absolutely beaten.

Good weather here.making progress.

Skippy- Happy tomorrow..or..er...friday. Now I'm confused, don't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt...Wait a minute.. I don't wear a watch. I got to strum a few chords and hit a few licks for sound check this afternoon before they entertained the elementary students. I couldn't stick around for the performance but will catch it tomorrow ( Friday) night.

Hope all is well with everyone...So Scuba, I take it you got the job?

Goodnight Joe..Goodnight all!!

LadyRebeccaofWessex your docter is an asshole. Going for "as long as you can...." is totally unprofessional. It should be the best it can be for ANY activity, wether for fun or as your job. I don't know how you broke your fingers and what shape they are in but fysiotherapy is/will be very important. Getting your fingers to work like they used to (if the bones healed well, in the right place, and there's no cut muscles and that sort of damage).
When I have an injury that can affect my guitar playing I always inform the doctor(s), which gets me extra attention, not "as long as you can work". If my cardiologist would tell me "as long as your heart still beats" we're satisfied and you should be too I'd kill the bastard!

Find a doctor that takes you and everything you do seriously, and treat you as if you were a pro musiscian. He should give every patient his best.

Joe, I wanted to see if you can help me. My fiance was a big fan of yours. He idolized you, and played your music all the time. He was a musician as well. He was learning your song "always with me always" to play at our wedding June 13th. Shawn passed away last month from a rare form of stomach cancer at the age of 37. We never got to see our wedding. I wanted to see if there was any way I could get a cd with that song on it, maybe with your signature on it. I know its a lot to ask for but it would mean a lot to me. He would be honored.

Hi Bill welcome to T2J - what's your favourite Joe songs and albums?

burly - Gooood Mooorrnningg Vietnam....er Burly!!!!!!!!!! Come on, can't you jump on the geetar and rip into something, all that gear just sitting there and waiting for you......:0)

Pip - LOL I thought you meant the crazy jacket not the Deep Purple CD - I did have a go BTW but $200+USD is way out of my budget and I am still a little dubious about CD's - so easily copied and printed etc. When's your next vid - couldya do Ten Words by any chance for a helpless beginner??? Will re-send the mail, check your spam box (now that sounds interesting doesn't it?).

scuby - great you have a couple of days work, sorry to hear you once injured your hand but gee it hasn't stopped you playing great guitar which is a blessing.

roo - check that, if I find out I will let the Aussies know.

dream3 - great idea, since the shows are sold out maybe somebody could put up a link for us to watch live outside the US. Also, any T2Jers can you take a sign to hold up "Hi Skippygirl" so I can pick you out on youtube :0)?

Taane - eh go on to you too mate, welcome, you play guitar at all?

cosmic_ape - now its Friday night yeehar! Fish and chips, glass of pinot gris and relax yeah!

well back form the studio jamed n drank all night, great ole time, was gona go downstairs to get some chicks but we left it to late, oops

goood times, im pretty sure i got the bus home, drove me car to get some breakfast pissed, but its ok i made it home safe and aok, and im writing this sure, so i must be ok, NO TYPOS

depends ape on what compression and video settings you use for YT... its all diff, i made tons of vids on day in different formatns and qualities, yer average vid will do aok, i forget what settings i use but its enough to get a HQ link... 128Kbps in 480xsomething video dvd quality or something, either way works fine, unless i shoot in HD HW is fine, tbh hq is far superior since its decetn quality and decent enough stereo audio