thoughts for the day...

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to switch tracks, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a piss before the film starts.

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say "know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog poos in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains.

SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Trueprint.

MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via DHL. You will never see it again.

CRIMINALS: When fleeing from the police, run with your right arm sticking out at a 90-degree angle, wrapped in a baby mattress, in case they set one of their dogs on you.

EMPLOYERS: Avoid time-consuming job interviews by immediately tossing 90 percent of the applicants' CVs into the bin.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire; then turn it down three notches. This will save your wife from having to do it.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending a £50 note to yourself by Royal Mail.

BANGING two pistachio nutshells together gives the impression that a very small horse is approaching.

BLIND PEOPLE: Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.

GRATED cheddar cheese from the supermarket can be squashed tightly together with the fingers to produce a block of cheese, ready for slicing or grating.

ALCOHOL makes an ideal substitute for happiness.

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house while you're asleep by simply moving everything into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

CAR THIEVES: Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables are usually hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

DEPRESSED people: Instead of attempting suicide as a "cry for help", simply shout "Help!", thus saving money on paracetamol, etc.

MOTORISTS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the ocean.

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE men: Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Etam with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

ALCOHOLICS: Don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub, where a large selection is available at retail prices.

McDONALD'S: Make your brown carrier bags green so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

scubadaz - I have been trying to sell it for a while but mainly because of the economic climate I have been holding off until things pick up a bit.

Cheers,

Anybody know who's playing keys on the Joe on The Tonight Show vid? Can it be Jeff? I know he plays multiple instruments, but I can't tell who it is from the vid quality. Also, anybody think Greg looks like Edgar Winter? lol!

Great find Trace! You get top awards in yer Satch Supersluthing!

I love this version of Cool #9!

edit - And here's another thought...

They're calling CF a "super group". Bloody hell, every time Joe does a G3 it's a SUPER GROUP! Smoke on the Water

And anudder ting....

The band is Chickenfoot, and we're Chickenheads. I think it's a good idea to incorporate the word CHICKEN into our daily vocabulary for the next few months. Think of the possibilities!

all one word, of course...

chickenfoot, chickenhead, chickenshit, chickentits, chickennuggets, chickennoodle, chickenofthesea, chickenbutt... you get the idea.

So, word of the day..."CHICKEN"

lol!

edit again - there's also Chickalicious - but I can't use it unless I'm trying to sound like a lesbo, so whoever wants that one can have it. lol!

How 'bout CHICKEN PICKIN' DICKIN'?

I so lurve it when u gots a day off :) Much more entertaining, LOL!! I caught that it wuz Greg B on the drums, but couldn't see who was playing bass either....

So...keyboards and bass, anyone gots an idear? Pick yer chickenbrains and figger it out!

Brother Matty B Chee!! Remember - the Bissonette bros was the band in those days. Baaaad hairs on boff 'em. lol!

Maybe keyboard guy was part of Jay's house band?

scubz - that's funny!!

Hmmm, if people are wondering about fruity surprises that might happen on the tour, beware the RHCP sock "stage outfit"....................! What if that makes a comeback at Chickenfoot!?

jdublu - they should all have the case candy.... I'd speak to the shop in the first instance

Ozzyfudd - I agree about the pickups not being up to the job, but I wonder how tonally different a 100 & 1000 are when both have the same pups (and neck)? I am tempted to get a 100 and customise it up rather than do a paint job on a 1000.... but not at the expense of the sound. I also met stevey at G306!... but in Perth. Although, they didn't seperate us off. He just wandered in... with his Weiner LOL

Nice pedal board BTW

Roo - what took you so long to realise I had a JS3 LMAO. I only mentioned it to you about 1000 and eleventy two times (ok, about 5). I just realised, the peacock guitar you were on about a while back - I think it's a 100 and not a 1000 series....

P.S Spill the beans on the new guitars... or shaddap : b .... TOO cruel!

goldengirl2 - hi right back at ya. How ya doing?

Cosmic Ape - nice interview, thanks for posting. Not sure the ACDC comment was the wisest given the current issue

Igneous - yeah something like that. I wish I hadn't talked myself out of it. Ah well. I hadn't heard of that place but thanks for the link. Looks COOL!

Michelle - if it's all 92/93 footage like I think, then it's Greg & Matt on rhythmn, and Mr Phil Ashley on keys. Ta da : )

Cheese101 - don't forget this one one from your Leno link : ) The guitar for friends looks like a JS6 to me, which was out at the time and in the extremist vid a lot. 1993 I reckon, and I recognise the top. I think I have a photo of me mother with Joseph and that top

Blue Moon - ah yeah, that episode of Top Gear. I posted about that when it was first on because it was such a coincidence (either the week before SF or the week after). FAF.

Elpp - nice vid, ta

Skippy - something of Joe's and you didn't get it? What happened? Your technique up the creek or something LOL?

Scuba - what's wrong with Norton/McAffee then? Perhaps it depends on the version as my Symantec/Norton works just fine. Am curious now?

Satriella - ah, I see, you jumped the gun a bit then. I geddit, thought I'd missed something important, but it just hadn't happened

Do The Stu - sorry for your loss. Sending good vibes to you and your family!

Hopefully the job thing will work out exactly how you want it. I know you've mentioned a few times on here that it's been annoying you and you were thinking of moving.

Now you've mentioned Poundcake, I've just realised a technique Joe hasn't used yet: The drill!

Come on Joe, there's the revving the drill plus the tremolo picking techniques available to ya..... Ask Pablo gilberto for some tips and bring it on to London : )

Aww, *pat*pat*pat* Ally. You know I love ya. lol!

Here's Greg back in the day, and here's his website pics

well, I'm not completely retarded (shadap mc) and figgered it was Matty B on the bass, but somehow he just dint look like himself on that vid.....or maybe it was my tired eyes....anyhoo...love Joe in anything, lol!!

And I also know what the guitar is, the mahogany one....just was commenting it was an interesting choice :) I see them come up for sale on ebay now and again, always thought they were so purty :)

Hi everyone...just stopping by quickly to say that the Jeff Beck gig last night was AMAZING!

I don't want to spoil anything for people seeing the last two shows of the tour, but this is too cool to keep quiet.

About 3/4 of the way through the show, Jeff started playing an instrumental version of Curtis Mayfield's People Get Ready. There were big cheers as the crowd recognized the song (Jeff released a cover of it in the 1980s)...and then there were bigger cheers as ROD STEWART walked out onstage to sing it! That was a HUGE surprise. He also stayed out there for Willie Dixon's I Ain't Superstitious, which he said he did with Jeff 41 years ago...he seemed pretty shocked it had been so long. Jeff was near tears being onstage with Rod again...Rod was really emotional too. That's definitely one of the coolest things I've ever seen.

And that's not all...Jeff closed the encore by bringing out Joss Stone for Sly & The Family Stone's I Want To Take You Higher. She sounded great, and man oh man is she hot...haha. But more on her later, as well as Jeff Beck's also hot and also amazing bass player. ;-)

Jeff is playing LA again tonight...I don't know if he'll bring Rod and Joss out again, or if he has other things planned...? And what about the tour-ender in Oakland? Last night will be hard to top!

Anyway, I skimmed and here are a few replies (although I'll catch up in full later):

burly - Yes, my plans for later this week include cranking KSHE! ;-)

And lastly, I wanted to take a quick minute to thank everyone for their good thoughts. The last time I saw my grandma was two years ago, but it was at a wedding so it's a nice happy memory.

Hmmm...this post was supposed to be short. What happened? ;-)

Uh-oh, I'm in trouble now. lol! I was upstairs dusting my daughters bedroom trying to get it ready for her to come home from college next week. She has a kick ass little stereo in her room, so I grabbed my Disturbed Believe cd and cranked it till the house was shaking :-) Well, I didn't take notice that my daughter had (key word HAD) a glass decoration with sand in it on top of the one speaker. Liberate came on, and that's one of my fav tunes, so I cranked that bitch up some more. lmao! Concert level - I swear! About half way through the song *SMASH* went the glass! I turned around and was like "Holy shit!", but did I turn it down? Noooo, I kept on dancing and dusting. F it, it's already broke. lol! I did remove the other glass thingy off the other speaker though. lol! Leave it to mum to break stuff. Oh well...I can always blame the cats :-)

It was funny how the vibes from the speaker would vibrate the sand off the end of the dresser. I'm a feckin mental patient when it comes to my music. lmao! Of course, it helps if the house or car contains just lil' ol' me. lol!

Wanna feel the vibes?

Going to see Disturbed on Saturday night. Anybody know the set list or see the show?

Yep. Tracie, San Fran is a walk around, bike around, take public transit, happenin' place! It's a great city to walk around and have good time adventures. Thanks for your linkies of Joe!

Wow, Michelle, scubadaz, and everyone else who gives out links to VH, RHCP, Steve Vai and Joe......tough to keep my socks and shoes on! I feel a buzzing high like no other right now!

The latest song on the "don't play list at funerals" is AC/DC's Highway to Hell!! This from our friend Tom Morton of BBC Radio Scotland!! ;-D

Al McKenna--If Steve Vai or Steve Morse don't take ya on as an apprentice guitar player........I'll seriously wonder why I was born and what I am witnessing ---There's gotta be a place for ya in the world of music and musicians. Theys a great fun career and promising future.

Actually, my desire for peoples is to enjoy their work---I know jobs are scarce these days, but I'm pullin' for you and praying myself to sleep at night hoping for the best decisions to go forward to create good, healthy, fun jobs like I have at the library. The library is often like a huge study hall with people finding educational and entertaining books, DVDs and CDs. It's so cool helping people find what they need.

The American Way needs a serious overhaul! Why are we so polarized and disconnected? The last paragraph of Bob Herbert's Pittsburgh report, New York Times from 14April2009.."Murderous gunfire claims many more victims than those who are actually felled by the bullets. But all the expressions of horror at the violence and pity for the dead and those who loved them ring hollow in a society that is neither mature nor civilized enough to do anything about it." How true...and sad! Is it any wonder why people in this country are depressed and anxious! HELP!

Alan--It's great that you are who you is! I'm not sure about these people who call you Albert or Ally or Alfred or Alvin....What's up with all that? They just got a bunch of nuts rattling around in their heads........attracts squirrels and that's about it!

Why can't this be love? "Straight from the heart......"

Guitarvibes---The Dutch generally know what civilization is all about, don't they? I would that compassion, insight, foresight and civility were the rule of our times all over the world.

Somalia, Yemen, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Burma and so many other places need to wake up to compassion and civility....messes, anarchy, life so cheap----how long will that take is anyone's guess. And the United States of America.......so needs to wake up.......sigh!