scuby - hope you get it, fingers crossed. Re Ten Words I'm up to that tricky bit from the YT vid - I have to change to the tab version from that point and I can't get the transition right, plus I suspect it will sound odd starting the song one way (with lots of slides) and then changing to just picking notes. I need to also find a vid of somebody playing the whole song where I can see their left hand clearly so I can get another perspective.

Thanks for the timeline reminder (not). I listen to Ten Words in the car everyday so it completely sinks into my brain and I keep thinking how the f**k will I ever get that solo other than extremely slowly :0). Having said that I do now have something, albeit short, that I can play to the kids who think it's pretty cool (but hey, they love me).

When is your next vid coming out? Which song can I expect?

Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general). These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup

LIST OF RULES

1. you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because: a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this... why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.

No offence to male or female with thiws one...but it did make me chuckle!!!

When God created woman, He crossed a dung beetle with a cow and got this cute little thing with tits that runs around looking for shit all day. A recent survey asked 100 sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job. 99.9% of them said, "the 10 minutes of silence"!

Advantages of having an affair with a married woman? They give like hell. They do not yell. They do not tell. They do not swell and there is no wedding bell.

The factory where women are made has been found: It's called "Fatties and Moanies".

Women have to be more beautiful than smart, 'cos men see better than they think.

Woman's Quote of the Day: "Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something with which you'd like to have dinner with."

Men's Counter-Quote of the Day: "Women are like fine wine. They all start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind and then turn full-bodied with age until they go all sour and vinegary and give you a headache."

A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards. You need:
a HEART to love him,
a DIAMOND to marry him,
a CLUB to smash him with
a SPADE to bury him

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes.

Q: Why is the part between the bottom of a woman's boobs and the top of her vagina called 'a waist'?
A: Because you could easily fit another set of tits in there!

Q: What's the definition of a gynaecologist?
A: He is the only fool on the earth who looks for problems in a place where most other people find pleasure!

Q: What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
A: Both are sweet in the beginning and become tasteless and shapeless later.

Q: What is the strongest muscle?
A: The tongue. It can raise a woman's hip with just one lick!

Q: Why is the 69 position like driving in rush hour?
A: The asshole is always in front of you.

Q: What is the difference between a panty & a stage curtain?
A: When you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over... but when you pull down the panties, it's SHOWTIME!

A divorced man meets his ex-wife's new husband at a party. Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: "So... how do you like using second hand stuff?"
The new husband replied: "It isn't that bad. Past the first three inches,[bit's all brand new."

A lady bought her ex a present for his birthday. He opened it and said, "What the hell do I want with a rocket?" She said, "You wanted space... now fuck off!"

It's funny how, as we get older, our priorities change. The other morning I awoke to see my wife standing beside the bed, dressed in very skimpy underwear and holding several pieces of velvet rope. "Tie me up and you can do anything you want", she purred. So I tied her up and went fishing.

Evenin' all.Hope everyone's been havin' a day/evening/morning depending on where you are on this little planet we live on.

Just spent a few hours at Ozzy_Fudd's place makin' some NOISE. You've all seen his new homemade pedalboard so I thought I'd give it the "fatape endurance test" and while the OZmiester still has a few more adjustments to make, it passed every test my size 12's could throw at it.

It also gave me the opportunity to try out THE BIG BAD WAH. What can I say but it is absolutely every wah pedal you could ever want ALL in one pedal(and yes,you can get Joe's sound!!!).It simply has the best qualities from all the great wah pedals(I know this coz I've owned,used or borrowed just about all of them,including some very obscure ones).Crybaby,Big Bad Horsie and of course Vox to name a few.They're all there.

So,I'm off to my local music store as soon as I can to put a deposit on mine! Can't wait to see what Joe and and Vox come up with next. BRING IT ON!!!!

AAAGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just got a phone call from my younger brother. He's at an Eric Clapton concert and wanted me to hear it! BASTARD!!! WHERE'S MY FECKING TICKET,BRO?!?!?!?! (Insert image of fatape firing up industrial strength turbo charged jigsaw!)

Ozzy_Fudd:- Sharpen up the Jigsaw blades,My brother's a wascawy wabbit and he needs a sewious swaying.Heheheheh!!!

Leave it to Joe to guide us to harmony through music. The wake-up call to get back in tune with "Highway Star" that reminds me of Deep Purple and the Machine Head days---summer of 1972....hanging out at summer school....early gatherings in a classroom listening to Deep Purple on vinyl and all the great music of that time......coming together to listen to rock albums. Good times.

Just read "Erin Go Broke" New York Times Op-ed article by Paul Krugman for the 2nd or 3rd time. Why raise taxes AND slash government spending at the same time if these are counterproductive to collectively helping people in need? Sigh!!!

Just tryin' to get started this morning---feels like summer---hot days between 35 and 40 degress C or upper 90s F. Thank heaven it cools off to upper 50s F at night. No clouds/fog over the coast---all clear and very little breeze. Me home is air conditioned.......feel for San Fran in the 80s F with no air conditioning as a rule because they haven't really needed it over the years........ they used to be able to count on clouds/fog/marine layer for "air conditioning" by nature.

Hope ya'll are having better days than Steve and me......difficult to face these days........yet, it's comforting to have Joe here......Thanks, Joe for being here and sharing your compassion and lifting us beyond the sharp experiences of the daily grind. Thanks to all ya wonderful T2J peoples who focus on what's important--the music, the art and community.

Kudos to Canada for outsmarting and routing the pirates. Canada along with the Netherlands uses common sense and common humanity to foil pirates and neutralize the aggression and brutal attacks. Check out BBC and Guardian.

What a special neighbor the US has!!

Thanks brothers and sisters!

CANADA EEHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Hi I'm from Scotland and would like to say that you " ROCK ". I have only one wee question for you and that is do you plan to gig in Scotland again in the forseeable futre.

This'll probably be my last post here for a few days...my grandma on my mom's side passed away two nights ago, so tomorrow I'm flying to St. Louis for her funeral later in the week.

That means I'll miss out on the Jeff Beck show in San Francisco, but I checked Ticketmaster and found a ticket to his show in LA tonight...so I'll still get to see him.

I'm going to see Spinal Tap/Unwigged and Unplugged on Sunday, which will probably happen before I'm back to posting here. So I guess you guys will have two show reviews to read upon my return...haha.

Austin, sorry about yer gremmy.

Scubz, why such a harsh stance on druggies? Some of the best people on this Earth have had a battle with the beast and have come through it. Live and learn. You should save that hate for child molesters, rapists, elder abusers, and the like.

scubz, understandable. I've had my own traumas in the past with that. Happy to say that the one particular person in my life who was the worst has been clean and sober for about 20 years. Happier now than ever I might add. Just blessed to have a happy ending to that one. They're paying the price with health probs, but at least their head is on straight.