cube.....OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.....so that's the secret??

Well damn....I don't eat much....mebbe I gotta add the bike and treadmill fer results? As Joe has demonstrated and chelle reminds us, buns of steel don't ship UPS.....

Professor Stephen Hawking was giving a talk to a lecture hall full of guitarists and got booed off stage.

Cappy:-Lace your hamsters drinking water with a gooood shot of whiskey,then,when he's wobblin' around his cage,tell him your from the Amusement Park Safety Authority and your here to check his ferris wheel with a personal stress test.If he gives you any lip,threaten him with a "closed till further notice" sticker!!!

If that fails...drink all the whiskey you can,then when you get that "hungry drunk" frame of mind happening,EAT THE HAMPSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Friday, everyone!

Great news....my hubby Steve's prostate biopsy came out negative!! We just found out this morning when his one of many doctors called!

Now on to the neurosurgery on 18 May with indepth electrodes and a whole week in the hospital connected to a monitoring machine and frequent doctors and nurses checking in on him day and night.......he gets iritable and grumpy when he misses sleep.....I'm not looking forward to this. Looking forward to the road test show 17 May in SF.

Hi Mr joe

can i ask a tech question

can i play super colossal with the octave setting available in the digitech whammy ?

Sammy Hagar, who was touring on the other side of the country with Van Halen in 1991, wanted to fly home and play the Golden Gate Park memorial concert for Bill Graham. He lined up former Montrose drummer Denny Carmassi, and called guitarist Joe Satriani to ask if Satriani would join him to play Montrose's "Rock Candy." Images The members of Chickenfoot (left to right) - Joe Satriani...CD cover of "Chickenfoot." View Larger Images

"You know what he said?" Hagar asks. "He said, 'I don't do other people's material.' I thought 'What an upbeat f-.' "

"I don't remember that," an astonished Satriani says. "Why would I say something like that?"

But Satriani finally did join Hagar for a brief jam session in February last year in Las Vegas with Hagar's Chickenfoot, a three-man weeknight poker circle that used to get together and jam at Hagar's Mexican beach cantina, Cabo Wabo, featuring Red Hot Chili Peppers drummer Chad Smith and Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony, long a Hagar partner-in-crime.

Now Satriani, rock's leading instrumentalist and hero of a thousand guitar magazine covers, has joined forces with rock's most irrepressible front man and his monumental rhythm section.

People make a bad habit of underestimating Hagar, 61, the Energizer bunny of hard rock, who is about to begin his fourth platinum career. The Chickenfoot album, produced by Led Zeppelin engineer Andy Johns, will be released June 9, and the band starts an instantly sold-out, nine-city Road Test tour next Sunday at the Fillmore, before heading off to tour Europe in June and July, and returning to do a proper tour of the states in August.

"You're not a band unless you gig, I say," drummer Smith says.

The band members are sitting around a giant Chinese lacquered table that Hagar found while bargain hunting with his wife in Chinatown. They are passing around Satriani's laptop and goofing with the video. Anthony and Smith are staying at the nearby Terra Linda Motel. Satriani drove up from San Francisco and Hagar came down from his Mill Valley mountaintop. They have gathered to rehearse for the shows.

"I've got ideas pouring out of me today," Hagar announces as he walks into his Red Rocker Recording Studio in this quiet nook of warehouses and industrial buildings outside San Rafael.

"After Van Halen, I said I would never work with a genius guitar player again," Hagar says. "But after jamming with these guys for a while, we decided, 'Let's get a good guitar player.' I got his number and started calling Joe. This time it worked."

Hagar put his regular band, the Cabo Wabos, on retainer ("As much as they've done for me, they can be on salary the rest of their lives") and started working up material. The band took Johns into the huge orchestral room at Skywalker Ranch to record.

"This record was pretty live," Hagar says. "I did half the vocals live. I spent 10 days singing eight hours in a row. I would sit out, thinking I'd save my voice, but they would sound so good, I would want to get in there. We sound like a band because we did it like a band."

"Old school, baby," Anthony says.

The album smokes - an hour of ripping hard rock based around Hagar originals such as "Sexy Little Thing," "Get It Up" and the leadoff single, already a Canadian smash, "Oh Yeah."

"Doesn't Sammy's voice sound big?" Satriani says.

Guitar wizard Satriani uses the finesse and power made famous on million-selling instrumental albums such as "Surfing With the Alien" and "The Extremist," but he is clearly comfortable in this supporting role, able to play in ways he couldn't as an instrumental soloist.

"He's playing so much," Hagar says.

"It's a whole new Joe," Anthony adds.

"My career sort of fell in my lap," Satriani says. "It was almost accidental. This is more in line with what I always thought I would be doing since I was 14 years old, Jimmy Page, standing behind some guy like Sammy, playing the song."

When native New Yorker Satriani arrived in the Bay Area in 1978, he played with a popular Berkeley club attraction called the Squares before being drafted by the Greg Kihn Band, then in its final stages. Satriani was working on "Surfing With the Alien" when the Kihn band finally dissolved. At one point, he was signed to a second record deal with Epic Records as part of a group-to-be-formed, but he could never find a singer and returned the advance after a couple of years trying.

Memorabilia on the studio walls tells the story of the extraordinary career of Hagar, a working-class kid from Fontana (San Bernardino County) who came to San Francisco in 1970 with a band called the Justice Brothers before guitarist Ronnie Montrose picked him to form his new band, Montrose. There not only are gold and platinum solo albums and photos from his years with Van Halen, one of hard rock's all-time greats, but also posters of liquor bottles from his tequila business, his restaurant chain, even his mountain bike enterprise. He is wearing a faded T-shirt with his new band's insignia and the lettering "Pataepollo" - Chickenfoot in Spanish - already half worn out.

The record is not being released by a label, but by the Best Buy chain, which is distributing the CD on a non-exclusive basis. The chain has previously made exclusive deals for independent releases by bankable acts such as Journey, Guns N' Roses and Elton John, but this is its first new-band, widespread release.

"Obviously, they want to be in the music business," Hagar says.

"Plus we all get free TVs," Smith says.

The band's gear is set up in a tiny, crowded studio space down the hall. The musicians all wear earplugs. Tall, muscular Smith may be one of the loudest drummers this side of Keith Moon. At Satriani's feet is such a bewildering collection of foot switches, pedals and signal processing equipment, even he admits to getting confused and stepping on the wrong button sometimes.

Satriani spent a month in the studio by himself, overdubbing guitar parts with producer Johns, scrupulously layering in textures and weaving little details deep into the fabric (is this the first hard-rock record with banjo?). Johns and Satriani previously collaborated on "The Extremist," and Johns did a Van Halen record with Hagar ("I fired him from doing my vocals," Hagar says). On the Chickenfoot record, the veteran British engineer ended up in the hospital, and another engineer finished the mix.

"He cared so much," Satriani says. "We got the best of Andy."

"We almost killed him," Smith says. "Nobody dies on a Chickenfoot record."

The band played its first real date for an audience of Best Buy executives in March at the Grove Anaheim on three days' rehearsal. "We were excited," Hagar says. "The first song seemed like it took an hour."

"It was one of our longest numbers," Smith says. "The adrenaline was on 12."

"We really did play for an hour and nobody had heard one song before," Satriani says.

All the band members swear allegiance to Chickenfoot.

"I'm a decade man," Hagar says. "If I can get 10 more years out of this old body."

Smith mumbles something about Chili Peppers obligations as if they are annoyances. Right now, Satriani doesn't care if he ever makes another instrumental record.

"He had credibility up to this point," Hagar says. "But Chickenfoot is going to be way too successful for credibility. It sounds too much like a hit."

"I have been nurturing obscurity for years," Satriani says. {sbox}

Hi Joe, and hi everyone!. I'm new to the site and new to playing guitar. I've always been a synth-man, and I suppose because of that guitar is coming along quite nicely. Anyone know how Joe fingers an open A chord? does he use fingers 1,2,3 or 2,3,4. just curious. having a hell of a time getting that little finger over the fret to make the A sus.

Hey Joe...

I'm 16 and became obsessed with the Guitar about 5 years Ago. I would practice Hours and Hours On End after i Learned my First Song Ode TO Joy.. I was a Metal head, wanting to Learn every song by Metallica, Maiden etc.. I got into my own music about 2 years ago, Stepping away from What i can play from others and developing my own style. I Guess that was just the Immature Stages of a Guitarist, but It certainly taught me Technique.. Along the Road i read one your articles/Video's on youtube/Guitar world speaking about Emotional Playing.. And my GOD it's like a Drug! At Times i would get Overwhelmed with this feeling and I'd start to shake and Had to Scream.. These licks would Come out of Know where on the spot and i Had no clue where it came form.. Thus i realized it came from the Heart and Not Head. It's Intense I've finally reached the lvl of playing I've dreamed to have ever since i heard Kirk Rip his Solo's From Ride the Lightning To and Justice.. You where his teacher at one point so i knew I had to Throw in some Satch in My Vocab. And might i say an Inspiration you were to my playing.. I'm renown here in Charlotte, Nc as a Vai Junior, Little Satch, Mikey Van Halen from all The guitar center's/Sam Ash's; Friends Relatives that hear me.. And i Promise I am soon to be One Of The Next greatest virtuoso's the World has ever heard.. Through my knowledge of Quantum Physics, Metaphysics, Sacred Geometry, String Theory "The law of Attraction," Spiritualism; I've been called with a Very high spritual calling in this world and the next, that, I am Defiantly aware of the "hidden" aspect's this cruel world has... As well as Other's

My main Point of this message was to tell you Two night's Ago (Morning of 5-7-09) i had a Dream on what i believe to be a Coast somewhere/ Fishing Dock where you had some apartment complex.. You took me up to your House and Should me some techniques of yours on the Guitar.. You where plugged in to your signature JSX and then handed over to me your Guitar, And said "Play with your Heart". You stepped outside onto some balcony and closed the Door behind you so your presence wouldn't distract me, but you still heard me.. So I Played.. And i Played My Heart out.. It was the most amazing Guitar work I've ever heard.. When i finished you came back in and Said, "Perfect".. When i was to leave i saw around 4 Little Boxes of Dimarzio pick-ups, Not sure Which model's, but you gave me two, To put in my Bridge and neck, And you said "There, That should Help your Journey.. I then woke up from my slumber and started playing my guitar, and having these revelations.. Strange Dream Huh

I've read the content and purpose of dreams are not fully understood, and can virtually Mean anything.. I've had prophetic dream's before of The Gates of hell That arose in a vast waste land and Satan with his back towards me walking away, IN Which during that time My wind chime in my Room Had these Specter Balls of Light Circling around it.. I've been told by Priest's at the Ministry i attend the Purpose for it.. But for this dream i had of us.. I don't Joe. lol Maybe there will be an epic battle in the Future In which musician's will activate some Mind conscious state to where Frequency, space and time will be Visible and Physical and enter a Magic Universal War; That we may cross path's.. After all we Musician's are Magician's in a way.. Manipulating Time, Frequency, Rhythm, Vibration etc. lol But that's my Imagination ;)

Cheese- I have seen this first hand and it WILL work.

Anytime you open your mouth to eat anything, MAKE SURE you balance your protein and carbohydrates equally. Go a little over on protein. Eat Chicken and fish. Cut out the fat especially animal fat so pork and beef are to be kept to rare occasion. Get your fat from good sources like eggs nuts and good oil (olive oil).

Sample meal breakfast: oatmeal unsweetened 2 eggs

snack protein bar ( the more balanced the better)

lunch: Lean Cuisine Chicken Tuscan and a Protein shake

snack: another bar

dinner Lean Cuisine Grilled Chicken and Penne Pasta , protein shake

before bed: another bar.

Drink 6 -8 oz. glasses of water a day.

Do this and you can't help but drop pounds. Even with minimal exercise.

I recommend EAS protein powder ( Sam's Club) and for the bars Pure Protein (Sam's) or Balance Gold (Sams)

Do this for a month and you will never change the way you eat. You will not get hungry as long as you eat more often and balance protein and carbs.

Cheese after you have done this for 3-4 weeks use Saturday for a cheat day. Eat something you really like, but jump right back into the routine on Sunday or use Sunday as a cheat...

I was not really fat, I was very muscular about 270 lbs, very solid very strong.

After 40 My knees would not hold up to suit my active lifestyle. I last a lot of muscle but I lost the excess fat around my middle.

I have never had a 6 pack, but now with just a little ab work I can have it.

read your labels..I got off cholesterol meds as well as blood pressure. and I will never go back to that again. It is a lifestyle change that was very doable. It works like nothing else.

Tonight is my cheat night. I'm going for a huge plate of grilled chicken and pasta with Asiago sauce...yummy. That is what I crave, and of course you can't overload on pasta during the week because of the carbs.

bop badda shubby doo wah