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Zinc Master
Zinc Master
Crown Point, IN
USA
3563 posts total | IP Logged

MALE VS. FEMALE AT THE ATM MACHINE

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.'

************ ********* ********* *

MALE PROCEDURE:

1.. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

###############################

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

What is really funny is that most of this part is the Truth!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine..

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up...

6. Attempt to insert card into machine...

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8.. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt..

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Redial person on cell phone..

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27.. Release Parking Brake.

SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH,

AND TO THE LADIES who can handle it.... they need a laugh, too!

Remember this! A lady sent it to me.

She was laughing, too.

Tue Nov 24 '09 8:12:22 am Set this message as last read

bubbles
Sheila Brocato
Chandler, AZ
USA
Plays: Other (2024 years)
63 posts total | IP Logged
What are the, Ten Words? I ha e always wondered this. :)
Tue Nov 24 '09 8:49:40 am Set this message as last read

Do The Stu
Austin Lewis, III
Costa Mesa, CA
United States
Plays: Bass (25 years)
4067 posts total | IP Logged

In the words of Joe, from the Super Colossal podcast:

"And of course the ten words, that's up to you, that's part of the mystery...you will fill in the blanks for me."

Probably not the answer you were looking for, but there you go.

:-)

...Austin...

Tue Nov 24 '09 9:10:19 am Set this message as last read

Two Shay

2755 posts total | IP Logged
Can some clever clogs tell me how I can check all my previous posts (without trawling through hundreds of pages)
Tue Nov 24 '09 10:30:08 am Set this message as last read

Donkey Hotay

3984 posts total | IP Logged
Cappy, advanced search by nickname
Tue Nov 24 '09 10:44:05 am Set this message as last read

cheese101

3965 posts total | IP Logged
Orrrr, just under yer name where it says 1734 posts total, click on that....it gives u all yer own posts, all 1734 of em.....
Tue Nov 24 '09 11:13:19 am Set this message as last read

njbeast
David Wren
Manchester,
UK
Plays: Guitar (25 years)
700 posts total | IP Logged

Hey Peeps,

Hope you are all well?.

Dave

Tue Nov 24 '09 11:15:05 am Set this message as last read

Donkey Hotay

3984 posts total | IP Logged
Yes cheese, that is infinitely easier for a Cappy.... hmmm Cappy trawling.....
Tue Nov 24 '09 11:21:17 am Set this message as last read

Two Shay

2755 posts total | IP Logged
Thanx clever peeps.
Tue Nov 24 '09 11:30:24 am Set this message as last read

Two Shay

2755 posts total | IP Logged

Bubbles - As Do the Burgers pointed out from Joe.

I posted the following quite some time ago but here it is again just for you.

TEN WORDS

I’ve been a thinking lately

That I am so much in love with you

We been through it together baby

And we’ve seen our problems through

Now is the time for me to speak out

I’ve got ten words for you

Just – wanna – spend – the – rest – of – my – life – with – you

Just – wanna – spend – the – rest – of – my – life – with - you

I know it’s been a long time coming

And you’ve been real patient too

I may be hard to live with sometimes

But I’d give my life for you

Now is the time for me to say it

I’ve got ten words for you

Just – wanna – spend – the – rest – of – my – life – with - you

(Instrumental)

I’ve been a thinking lately

That I am so much in love with you

We been through it together baby

And we’ve seen our problems through

Now is the time for me to speak out

I’ve got ten words for you

Just – wanna – spend – the – rest – of – my – life – with – you

Just – wanna – spend – the – rest – of – my – life – with - you



Edited Tue Nov 24 '09 11:38 am

Tue Nov 24 '09 11:37:46 am Set this message as last read

wolf2

6365 posts total | IP Logged
what!?where the HELL! was I!?its full of oil my 250tnt dunfords of havelock ski-doo dealership on my ride open house thier tommorow 25 .00 a gallonmy oil injection is wright full of it at the openhouse price where the hell was i though brighton or something! more coffee tnt is stillwarm later wolf2.
Tue Nov 24 '09 12:58:18 pm Set this message as last read

michelle

8476 posts total | IP Logged

For M. London & McKenna

Tue Nov 24 '09 1:14:53 pm Set this message as last read

death cube k

6054 posts total | IP Logged
Um..... Thanks ...
Tue Nov 24 '09 1:37:10 pm Set this message as last read

pat the hat

2 posts total | IP Logged
Hi joe we came to see you at the sheperds bush 02 and had a great time it would be great if you could repeat the performance again in the u.k. perhaps at the international music show you know we will be there to see and hear you and the guy,s keep on rocking cheers pat the hat
Tue Nov 24 '09 1:58:45 pm Set this message as last read

Didierrrr
Didier Strijdonk
Hulst, Zeeland
The Netherlands
Plays: Guitar (21 years)
4 posts total | IP Logged

So back to the Coldplay copyright infringement case... I'm sure a lot of you must've heard the songs (If I Could Fly and Viva La Vida) mixed together. I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I can't help but love them mixed together. So, what do you guys (and Joe, you too) think of this?

Some examples of what it could sound like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27syhPd08hw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZc82ZKI2AU

I personally think the first one isn't mixed properly, but it's definitely the coolest of the two, because it still has the lyrics.

One last thing though: I really don't like the song Viva La Vida, but mixed with If I Could Fly it really sounds awesome. So please Satch, consider this. I'll send a message/mail to Coldplay too, so if they ask you about mixing the songs together, then it probably was me who brought them up with the idea.

I hope to be hearing some good news about this in the near future. In the mean while, keep up the good work with Chickenfoot! (although I'd like to see one last solo tour...)

Tue Nov 24 '09 2:25:23 pm Set this message as last read

Blue_Moon
Alan McKenna
Dublin
Ireland
Plays: Guitar (23 years)
6317 posts total | IP Logged
The summerwind

came blowing in

froma cross the sea


and don't encourage him M
Tue Nov 24 '09 2:35:16 pm Set this message as last read

JSblues1000

5 posts total | IP Logged
Spent a lot of time today testing distortion pedals...did a shoot out of all kinds of pedals including the satchurator.... well ... I like it the most... just as promised... its like Satriani in a tiny redbox... amazing!!! Thanks !!!
Tue Nov 24 '09 2:46:53 pm Set this message as last read

Ethn Hayabusa

1205 posts total | IP Logged
Slanshroom-It's just not my thing.Not really into straight ahead simple rock.
Tue Nov 24 '09 2:51:21 pm Set this message as last read

Peace Lily
Debora Aylett
Irrigon, Oregon
United states
1510 posts total | IP Logged
Cappy Steve - Your Ten Word lyrics are lovely and dare I say .......romantic? Thanks for sharing again. Your multi-faceted individual, fer sure :-)
Tue Nov 24 '09 3:15:58 pm Set this message as last read

Peace Lily
Debora Aylett
Irrigon, Oregon
United states
1510 posts total | IP Logged
EDIT-DOUBLE POST

Edited Tue Nov 24 '09 5:10 pm
Tue Nov 24 '09 3:16:09 pm Set this message as last read

Glitz Man
Grant Stieglitz
Fort Wayne, Indiana
USA
434 posts total | IP Logged

Hello to you all.

It felt good to be back working at the guitar store. It will be even better when I'm there most of the week and weekend, especially Black Friday. Back in there tomorrow morning.

Skippygirl: I'll be running that 4-Miler on Thanksgiving. Wish me luck. AYE!!! CHICKENFOOT DOWN UNDER!!! AYE!!!

Cappy Steve: I second that (next to Peace Lily); I think those lyrics are awesome.

Peace Lily: Hope you're doing well. I went to my friend's visitation Sunday and it was good. I got there when things were slowing down. How are things holding up over there for you and the family? Keep in touch and have a good Thanksgiving Holiday.

Caroline5765: Thank you for the reply. Wow, that's great that you run as well. I run for a local Track Club here (no teams, just individually). I have a 4-Mile Run coming up on Thanksgiving (morning). As for me, I enjoy all of Joe's songs [so that makes two of us]. ;-)

Blue_Moon: Congratulations on your JS1200. Just saw your vids and they are awesome. Congrats to you, and all of your successes!

Roo: I like your guitars. I want to place a rating for them (all of them 5 Stars).

Don1963 & Darl: Happy Thanksgiving to you both. Like the whole Joe and Chad thing.

Scubadaz: Good luck on the audition. That song isn't bad. I listen to it on the radio sometimes.

Zinc Master: Like those posts you put on. Are you still continuing your running?

Joe satriiani: Like that post as well.

mikesb: That is excellent news! HOORAY!!! Hope things work out. CANADA EH!!

GoldenGirl2: Hope you're feeling better.

I will be running on Thanksgiving (a 4-Miler). Wish me luck. There are a couple of runs in December. One of them has a 50K, (a 31 mile run), and the other is a 1 loop (10.8 Mile) Run. Thought about doing the 50K, since I did do that marathon. Should I do this event or not? That is the question. Help me decide y'all, you to Joe.

Talk with you all later.

Edited Tue Nov 24 '09 3:28 pm

Tue Nov 24 '09 3:24:41 pm Set this message as last read

Skippygirl

2103 posts total | IP Logged

Glitzy - good luck for the Thanksgiving Day run (I presume that is BEFORE turkey??) a 4-miler should be a piece of cake for you :0).

Cappy - shouldn't it be "Ten Syllables" haha? And I like your lyrics alot too, you're a sweetheart. I recall somebody posting here "and I truly love you, and I always will" which I think fits the harmony beautifully. I wonder what Joe's ten syllables are?

And I still can't play it, either :(.

Al - how's the lady in red, she exhausted yet ?

Heaps of vids in the Chickenfoot contest, lots of really good ones. Good luck to T2Jers and I hope you are there on teh night they announce it.

Tue Nov 24 '09 4:03:43 pm Set this message as last read

Blue_Moon
Alan McKenna
Dublin
Ireland
Plays: Guitar (23 years)
6317 posts total | IP Logged
thx indeedy

its unbelievable, still have a hard time not playing it, its cleaned and its in its case again tonight, its amazin

ill make another vid with it tomorrow, its so good


Edited Tue Nov 24 '09 4:16 pm
Tue Nov 24 '09 4:15:21 pm Set this message as last read

Skippygirl

2103 posts total | IP Logged

How to make a crowd go nuts - Rory Gallagher

For you Al - Too Much Alcohol



Edited Tue Nov 24 '09 4:33 pm

Tue Nov 24 '09 4:30:35 pm Set this message as last read

wolf2

6365 posts total | IP Logged
....Hey manIrealy don`t go to places on my dirtbike`s their good yeah but likethe tnt is what 36 years old thats like 36 year old ignitionthe atk is what 20 years old built from a wrecking yard hey their fine for alittle ride around the backyard.You can`t go anywhere man if they die that leaves me in the middle of the bush wilderness lost no food broke down however many miles you went like that` s scarry to me man! and that is real and reality of what could happen to me,.I`m to sick too you do to much get too big you get medcation failure I can`t leave my mom alone.I have to be home first thing in the morning and evening to take my medicines schizophrenia and cholesetrol medicne .I might have to take blood pressure pills soon to the other day my doctor check it it was borderline needing pill,sto lowerit I have to go to his office and have aproper test insetad of his place.Plus i have a second degree complete heart block half my heart doesnt beat!the bottom doesn`t tell the top when to beat plus my 15% dillusion disoredr i cant be out in the bush man .You know what I mean 8pm risperdal time 5 milligram`s at night 8 am 5 milligram`s every day later wolf2.
Tue Nov 24 '09 4:43:06 pm Set this message as last read
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