Two Shay
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An old joke but still funny!
While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.
"I do so by asking them the right question," says the Queen. "Allow me to demonstrate." She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: 'Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?'"
Tony Blair responds, "It's me, ma'am."
"Correct. Thank you and goodbye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?" "Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that technique in the future!"
Upon returning to Washington, he decides he'd better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms. "I wonder if you can answer a question for me."
"Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?" says Jesse.
"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"
Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you Sir?"
Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately call a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem. "Now look here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me of course, you idiot."
Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust, "You're wrong, you idiot. It's Tony Blair!!"
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Tue Jun 1 '10 2:08:38 pm
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wolf2
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.Everyone doe`s know my real mother!.Believe me you know her people you know probation in Peterborough you know the real strick middle age goodlooking blond lady probation anyways im to strong for gas mary anne said yeah theirs the rcmp unleaded special cups etc the opp bore your cylinders it works for a while take tylenol when it happens anyways she said you cant ride no more or drive or it chews your brain gas is for weak people frank anyways i need tylenol later wolf2. officer Marry anne bachker.No word of a lie she`s my birth mother fouck man what my brain is going threw she told me about she said theres this feeling were there are few veins in your brain and it,s course and it hurt,sit,s coming up later they told me because you know why your here,im your mother now your too stron fos gasoling it starts to effect you in this atk you make brand new you add more oil in your gas then it hits it goes away take tylenol .I go on probation every time someones trying to kill her hey man she always grabs me because she tells them it my son like she said im safe now youre here the problem just dissapears
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Tue Jun 1 '10 3:12:04 pm
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GoldenGirl2
Millicent Moritz Santa Clara, California USA Plays: Guitar (15 years)
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Michelle--LOL! our girlfriend Al & his Enya! Somethin's wrong with this picture......girlfriend? Al? his? I tell ya it's so wrong! AND YET.....Bob Marley and One Love.....Now that's where it's at! Iron Maiden takes some getting used to. AND I happen to like Enya as well. ;-)
Tracie--You understand Joe so well because you are a social worker and Joe has to be one of the most social people on this planet! I don't know where the word social or socialism got such a bad rap.
GG2
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Tue Jun 1 '10 4:42:31 pm
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michelle
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Our girlfriend Al is in Cambodia. He visited the killing fields. Said it was very sad, but everything else is aok.
The new episode of The Deadliest Catch is on tonight. Is anyone else addicted to that show? lol! In eeeeeven better tv news, Rescue Me - the best show on tv - is starting again on June 29th. Last years finale blew me away! So excited to see how it picks up. Anybody else watch it?
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Tue Jun 1 '10 5:26:13 pm
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GoldenGirl2
Millicent Moritz Santa Clara, California USA Plays: Guitar (15 years)
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Michelle--Can't say I'm familiar with Deadliest Catch. Steve and I watch mostly HGTV and PBS shows. There's a cool Canadian guy on HGTV, Mike Holmes who solves homeowners house structure nightmares. He looks like a weight lifter and is as strong as one, too! When I watch TV I don't just want to be entertained, I want to learn somethin' like what it takes to build a really strong house that will last practically forever....."Done right the first time!" as Mike Holmes says. Did I say I love Canadian peoples......[ blushes}. I don't know why......there's just that special something about the human connection.......here I go again!
Joe--I so much love Flyin' in a Blue Dream and You Saved My Life......Any songs you write about the people you love hit home with me. And I am determined to play a cover of ZZ's Song with all the love and zen it deserves....Thank you for your generous sharing......so much to share in this life.
GG2/Milli
Edited Tue Jun 1 '10 6:26 pm
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Tue Jun 1 '10 6:05:09 pm
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GoldenGirl2
Millicent Moritz Santa Clara, California USA Plays: Guitar (15 years)
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Michelle samish! What channel/network is Rescue Me on?
Al-- Yer so brave to be taking a world tour......what a determined and curious mind ya have! Hope you're havin' a good time and learning a lot from yer travels.
GG2
Edited Tue Jun 1 '10 6:24 pm
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Tue Jun 1 '10 6:15:30 pm
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cheese101
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OMG u guys hafta see this!! So cute, and he's darn good for being so tiny!!
Tiny drummer]
Look at how his eyes light up when he spots his folks in the audience...and how he gets into the music....SO cute!!
Joe....if Jeff ever gets sick for a show, I think this lil guy could help you out, LOL! Maybe he'll be Mike Portnoy's next hero too.
Chelle, check it!! U love drummers!! U gotta watch to the end, LOL!! I think he's like....4 years old maybe?
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Tue Jun 1 '10 7:58:57 pm
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Peace Lily
Debora Aylett Irrigon, Oregon United states
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Cheese & Michelle- Thanx for posting those links....so cute...needed a smile tonight..reality is really hitting the fan around the ol' homestead.............feelin kinda low. Gonna go listen to some Joe and chill........
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Tue Jun 1 '10 9:02:35 pm
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eebysubb
Knorr Thierry Strasbourg, France Plays: Guitar (44 years)
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Hi Jo [again]
what da ya think about Orianthi's talent playing with Master Vai on Highly Strung ?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7b-_YcACuQ
have a good day
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Wed Jun 2 '10 2:22:19 am
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oxley11
Hackensack, NJ United States Plays: Guitar (15 years)
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Bonjourno everybody!
That's right, it's finally June!
johnnai-I'm very to hear of your loss. I have a certain emotional attachment to the song Until We Say Goodbye.
I made a playlist last year, after listening to all of Joe's albums. It's all of Joe's most heartfelt ballads. 1.Until We Say Goodbye 2.Ten Words 3.Cryin' 4. Love Thing 5. You Saved My Life 6. Always With Me, Always With You 7.Just Look Up 8. I Believe 9.Starry Night 10. Home 11. Thinking Of You
Hope it makes you feel better. :)
Railton- I thought the answer to the creation of universe was 42. lol
michelle- Deadliest catch is a good show, but I like River Monsters better. (I'll put a link after 2:00 P.M.. I'm in school right now.)
Edited Wed Jun 2 '10 11:13 am
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Wed Jun 2 '10 7:11:55 am
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cheese101
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Just received this in my email, worth sharing, LOL!
A true friend
1. When you are sad,
I will jump on the person
Who made you sad
Like a spider monkey
Jacked up on Mountain Dew!!!
2. When you are blue,
I will try to dislodge
Whatever is choking you..
3. When you smile,
I will know you are
Plotting something
That I must be involved in.
4. When you're scared,
We will high tail it out of here.
5. When you are worried,
I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse
It could be until you
Quit whining, ya big baby!!!!
6.. When you are confused,
I will use little words.
7. When you are sick,
Stay away from me
Until you are well again.
I don't want whatever you have....
8. When you fall,
I'll pick you up
And dust you off--
After I laugh my rear off!!
9.. This is my oath.....
I pledge it to the end.
'Why?' you may ask;
-- because you are my FRIEND!
I actually have friends like this, LOL!! Have a good hump day peeps!
Love ya Joe!
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Wed Jun 2 '10 9:15:49 am
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campbell
paul campbell coatbridge, lanarkshire scotland Plays: Guitar (2018 years)
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Just bought one of those new 3d televisions, i was sitting watching it yesterday while having dinner, and this fat guy reaches out and steals one of my chips.
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Wed Jun 2 '10 9:53:37 am
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wolf2
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whaz up dont taze me bro! how you doing man the powerade worked beautiful I drank 2 medium ones late yesterday afternoon on my cmha meeting last night she broke I was fine then I went rideing again to this plaice called escolan o it,s far it,s in canada to sandras place and debbies in rennie they work for me at dennis kirk in minnesota it take,s about 2 hours and 12 minutes on the 406 man so now im trying to stay ahead of the atk406 dehydration I went to town bought 3 large cold bottle,s of powerade from the foodland drank one in town yeah i was rideing for about 6 hour,s and 31 minutes and the atk only went down about ahalf inch on fuel man 2 powerades in the fridge now now were good.You know in this month,s dirt bike team husqvarn rider talks about dehyrdation tacticts the first time out I had her beat 13 glasses of water a day for 13 days before the ride their was no porb after theat the next one slight problem next one big problem i always end up going for powerade man the stuff is primo oh you get abig bottle for a buck 50 it works did the grocery shopping yesterday man like 5 canvas bags full good sale every item was abuck each or abuck a pound primo hey bro anyways now were normal dehydration tactions as outline d by wolf2 3 rd place grand national champion vintage race for mottocorss do work later wolf2.
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Wed Jun 2 '10 10:18:35 am
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Railton
Mark Railton Denmark Plays: Guitar (16 years)
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Hello everybody.
How is everything going?
I'm going to play four songs here tomorrow with my school band live. I'm really exited as usual. I love playing live :P
Here's some of my newest speculations about light, the universe and everything. If you don't have any knowledge in space/physics, then it's probably nothing for you :P:
Is it really impossible to travel faster than light?
Have a great time!
- Mark Railton
Edited Wed Jun 2 '10 11:38 am
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Wed Jun 2 '10 11:37:11 am
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