Blimey, have to be sharp to get a double post in here tonight!
High flying city type decides he has had enough of the rat race.
Buys a house in the middle of nowhere and settles down to a life of peace and solitude.
Ten months later, he is sat down, reading a book and having a quiet beer (proper English ale, not that fairy Belgian Stella shit!) and there is a knock on the door.
He opens the door and there is a man there who says 'g'day mate (maybe he is an Aussie!) I'm your nearest neighbour from 46 miles that way (points in direction).
I was just wondering if you would be interested in coming to my Christmas party next month.
High flier says, ' Great, thanks, I haven't spoken to another person for months, I will be glad to come.
Neighbour says, 'I should warn you though, there will probably be a lot of booze getting drunk'
High flier, 'No bother, I could do with a good drink'
Neighbour, ' With all the booze getting drunk there may be some fighting'
High flier, 'No bother, I can look after myself'
Neighbour, 'That's great but after that there may be some kinky sex'
High flier, 'I've been celibate for months, a little bedroom action wouldn't go amiss, but just tell me, should I dress casual or smart'
Neighbour, 'Doesn't matter mate, it will only be the two of us!'