slanshroom

I am wrong about everything....

that's the good thing about being a lunatic!!!!!

Oh wait....

I am right in saying JOE is fantastic though....LOL

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

hey we went for a walk yesterday...look at this sign we found...

http://community.webshots.com/album/553071042cZShyg?start=24

LOL well I thought it was funny!

Captain Steve - Mwhahahahahahahaha

Ooooooo Yeah!

you on my wave length all right...

but you know what that means don't you!!!!?????

We can only speak with others of our kind ya know....

webmaster - oooo thanks for that...YAY something for us brits to look out for....I am a happy bunny now..

SEE!!!!!

jblaze1 - Aww you took yer time! LOL

danny k - Ohmy word well done...thats a lot of people really!

2 TON TESSIE - ahahahahahahaa that killed me...welcome back by the way....that's my rig....SIMPLE...er no...I got an Ibanez....thats SIMPLE! LOL

So sorry Mari....you have email!

Hi joe...good to see you on the board....

I am very worried about a friend....

if anyone can contact MaxiMagnet...please tell him to get in touch with me urgently!

Phew its OK....problem over.

sometimes it can be a pain not being able to just nip up the road to a mates and knock on the door and say are you OK.

AAAAGH late gotta go...

Hi Joe...you know what...I was sitting in the garden yesterday listening to The Extremist....I have to say that Rubina's Blue Sky Happiness has always been one of my favourite tracks....it always makes me smile and feel a happy glow inside....it was even better yesterday coz I was sitting outside in the garden with Blue Sky all around....and its true that blue sky does make you feel happier anyway...awwww....Rubina must love that track so much!

what's your favourite roller coaster?

DannyK - Er that link was you in a Sum41 shirt holding your guitar with no people whatsoever....yikes...i hope that wasn't yer biggest gig LOL

gruskada - I have something very very important to say.....

YOUR FUNNY!!!!!!

and now for something even more important...

Hugs Satriella xx

PS .....Has anyone ever played guitar while riding a roller coaster?

JOE.....hey could you do it?....play guitar while riding a roller-coaster I mean?

Hi y'all...you know what...I am worried about me....I seem to be finding more and more things really funny and having more and more total fits of laughter even in the naffest places and I mean hysterical, tears down yer face fits for about 10 minutes

at this rate by the time I am an pensioner...watch it people...don't even go there...I will be laughing all day.

do you think I should see a doctor?

moving on...oh yeah doctors...

JS1200JS1000 - Did you have it yet....what did you have...don't keep us in suspense...yeah yeah I know you are busy now...but still...come on...us women need details, names, places, weights...that kinda thing! LOL

CONGRATULATIONS!

Only seems five minutes ago you were real excited when you got the news that you were gonna be a dad....now hopefully, you are...WOW...came at just the right time to take away some of your sadness too!

BadNomad - You have to do a LOT of saving for everything in America don't you...seems very complicated to me...I have changed my mind....would love to be over there with Joe....but I think I will stay in the UK...less complicated. LOL

gruskada - Oh my word...thank you so much for that link, it is firmly in my Joe Favourites folder..it's so lovely

THANK YOU!

ooooooo saturday morning cartoons.....Oh wow I miss them....when I were a wee lass it was cartoons all the way till 12 noon on a Saturday morning....awww don't cha just love em....they make you laugh so much...I love things that make you laugh...if I get a film ...9 out of 10 times its always summit that will make me laugh...shhhh...its the secret of youth ya know...don't tell everyone though shhhh....the other one would usually be a nice fantasy...never get horrors or bad things....We have been doing a marathon film watch over this weeek....Alien Autopsy, Meet the Fockers, Chronicles of Narnia, The Brothers Grimm, Nesbit, Ghost Rider, My super ex-girlfriend, school for scoundrels, Nacho Libre...hehe I love Jack Black he has such an energy about him....School of Rock is such a classic!

maybe that is why I laugh so much now....trained myself to find everything ....well nearly everything funny! whats your favourite cartoon?

shredguy - Congrats on the new amp...may it bring you much joy my friend!

AmirK - Hey welcome back, you have been gone soooooo long, have you heard all the news?

Daddariosoul - Morning....but I think I missed something....whats arriving quickly?

MariMariSRV - Thinking of you!

Hey, we went to a theme park yesterday, hmmmmm the trouble with going to the Florida Theme Parks is..everywhere ya go after that...is...well...pretty naff...sigh...anyway the good thing is that although you can sit on thrill rides like you are riding a bus....you can concentrate more on watching other peoples faces ...oh its hillarious....there was this guy yesterday...you know the sort...tall, thinking he was gods gift to mankind in his vest top, all "I'm the man" in the queue for this ride which swings up to 100 degrees angle and spins at the same time...its shaped like a big claw, holds 20 and you all face each other...anyway his face, ah hillarious...he was actually doing kinda breathing exercises to stay calm, er which were not working by the look on his face...he got off very shaky...and by the time we had raced round and gone on it another 3 times he we still across the path holding on for dear life to a pole with the occasional kiss of life from his girlfriend..hahahaha

sorry yes shouldn't laugh at people...yes sorry

BUT IT WAS FUNNY!

haha like watching this family the other day doing all sorts of crazy stuff just to get away from a wasp...again involving a macho dad dancing around and doing a john cleese impression, a mum pelting hell for leather across the grass and kids all over the place, such entertainment!

Oh oh and a great one....macho garry boy trying to look cool walking across a stony beach in bare feet LOL

Hugs Satriella xx

Just a quickie...

first and foremost Hiya Joe

second CONGRATULATIONS CHAD and thanks for all the important bits

third maximagnet - I just hope you gonna be alright! Will try to call you at some point.

fourth - roffler yer back hiya

fifth Daddariosoul - hehehe I know I know

Hi Joe.....hey if you can do a message for Mari at the moment....that would be great... she really needs something to lift her spirits.....thanks joe..

PS - thanks for the dates... I think Spain and Germany already know though LOL

Mari - If only I could be there to Hug you now....you need it sooo much and I have never wanted to give it soo much....so sorry I cant...but BOY oh BOY you are in my thoughts and prayers Mari...hang on to that fiance of yours...support each other...its what your future marriage will all be about!

Badnomad - Oh...you poofed before I got the chance to say hello....you too quick for me!

Chad - yeah you have to keep things simple with babies...start with EH......then BEE....then SEA....LOL...not that he looks like you eh? Well i have seen you with a shaved head....so I think there is probably a good chance he looks like you!

Roffler - oh...er....yeah...I knew that LOL

jblaze1 - well its usually only strangers I laugh at...Oh and family....oh and friends.....so I am very selective! LOL

GoodSaintsman - welcome aboard if I didn't say so before!

Maximagnet - You can get out of that room with the ropes....make a ladder...don't be afraid to slip and fall!

Joe Satrini - so you think you can beat me eh!

The gloves are off and the sleeves are rolled up now!

mwhahahahahahaha

Hugs to all Satriella xx

It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

53. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT to never forget:

* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

========================================= HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Feed Him.
2. F*ck Him.
3. Be quiet.

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have recently raised their security level from 'Miffed' to 'Peeved'. Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to 'Irritated' or even 'A Bit Cross'. Londoners have not been 'A Bit Cross' since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from 'Tiresome' to a 'Bloody Nuisance.' The last time the British issued a 'Bloody Nuisance' warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from 'Run' to 'Hide.' The only two higher levels in France are 'Surrender' and 'Collaborate.' The rise was precipitated by a recent fire, which destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability.

It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from 'Shout Loudly and Excitedly' to 'Elaborate Military Posturing.' Two more levels remain: 'Ineffective Combat Operations' and 'Change Sides'.

The Germans also increased their alert state from 'Disdainful Arrogance' to 'Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs'. They also have two higher levels: 'Invade a Neighbor' and 'Lose.'

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say, "I love you too."

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent. Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

HIS DIARY

Hi Joe....waiting patiently for the box set....what was the last album you got?

Oh my word what a fantastic interview on Rockline...enjoyed that soooo much Thank you!

Cheese101 - Ah the pull to get back on the board is strong in this one....(that goes for both of us!) hehe...welcome back...glad the surgery went well....and well done for spreading the Joe word!....should be a compulsory part of treatment for anything really shouldn't it...a bit of Joe I mean!

Mahavishnu - G3 pics are great thanks for posting them...43600171 paul looks great on this...really getting into the swing 43600182 I have never seen Joes face look like that before...hillarious in that hat 43600166 john petrucci out a huntin ….oh my word 43600131 one of the best joe pics I have seen I love it!

js1200js1000 - Learn my friend learn quick....we want to see the pictures...pweeeeze! Whats happened by the way?

anibur - Hiya sweety....well of course the would have to be an enormously talented Instrumental Guitarist...that goes without saying....LOL

Zenfish - I haven't listened to all me Dire Straits albums in years...thanks for the reminder...Av to dig em out!

Kayla - So good to hear you on the Rockline too...well done for getting through! Good Questions!

BadNomad - Well its not hard really is it now....hehehe

*very cheeky grin*

Hugs to all ...especially all those having a hard time at the moment of which there seems to be quite a few...

Satriella xx

Hi Joe...really good to hear you on Rockline....I nearly flipped outta my seat to hear you hope to have a new album finished by the end of the year!....Me thinks the next G3 should come AFTER the next album tour though....do you think as you had so much fun with em...it would be John and Paul again....or are you looking to change players again?

http://s49.photobucket.com/albums/f297/Satriella/Joe%20Satriani/?action=view¤t=JoeInConcert266.jpg

Clarky - Just listening to Purple....very nice....is this a taste of things to come on the new album?

Dream3 - Glad you enjoyed Sabbath...but yeah any other concerts are just fill ins till the next Joe concert eh!

Joe Satrini - Awww missed yaz in the chat! Have a good weekend....surrender?

alexandrecaetano - Hey.....how ya doing ...good to see you on the board.... hey don't you own a record shop? Surely you of all people would know when Joes album will be available in Portugal? LOL

IRuleYouDrool - Wecome to the board....no its not difficult....just keep a postin!...er....raining ropes? as opposed to ladders? lol glad you enjoyed your G3 experience...something I have yet to do...but joe was fab last year and paul was great this year.

2 TON TESSIE - hope all goes well with the birth....let us know how it went....and hey...fathers get a fairly easy ride to start with...you will be fine!

gruskada - oooo that sucks they cancelled yer order!

keniko/Michelle - No spoiling any surprises for those of us who have to wait for the package! Enjoy in the meantime though!

Maximagnet - You so full of love for everything guitar! Good to see such nice words on here...there have been some quite nasty ones sometimes!

js1200js1000 - you on one big rollercoaster at the moment aren't you.....full of ups and downs and sudden corners! Glad to see you on an up turn again!

Slanshroom - well done...clap clap....make the peace..awwww

Hugs Satriella xx

hahahaha

Maximagnet - Stop it you....don't turn it around to mean you!

Nasty argueing and words between other people on here...not you not you not you!!!!

Isn't it a tad uncomfortable sleeping with yer guitar...I mean they are hardly cuddly and soft are they?

Captain Steve - LMHO not how I meant it....but yeah very true ahahahahahahahahahahahaha

HI JOE!!!!

Thanks for sharing your language with us!

Guitar God in Training - hahaha great talk to joe name...welcome to the board...why is Joe so good...easy....he plays allllllll the time and has been doing so for *cough* er many many years (just about 40 of em) lol

alexandrecaetano - Well there is a job for next week then....LOL Hugs ya muchly ....hey didn't you have lots of gigs to go to around now?

js1200js1000 - Enjoy the rugby...email?

roffler - Are you arguing with a woman.....

are you crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!







LMHO.......it all comes under feed me.....as in feed me beer!

Michelle - Nice little linky's hahahaha made me crack up when the cameraman went a little off....Joe pauses and pulls his head and eyes up to tell the person to lift the camera up...then carries on so fluently!

What a professional....what a guy!

Clarky - aka Prince - what do you think I am BONKERS!

Mari - Need a hug....you got a cyber one from me!

AmirK - Welcome Back....enjoy your summer holidays off school! You deserve the break!

jblaze1 - Hey...did you see the darwin awards film....the two guys who play the metallica fans are just like Beavis and Butthead!

Captain Steve - woof woof bark bark groooooowl bark bark

mwahahahahahahahaa

How many ice-creams does it take to make one tree?

Anibur - have you tried uploading anything onto webshots lately? Can't get mine to do it since they new and improved it? grrrrrrr

Hugs to all

Satriella xx

No one in satch chat....

No one in msn.......

No emails........

no-body loves me..........

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

ONLY KIDDING.....

Well no the first three are true

fourth one debatable.....

last one....KIDDING!

hehe

aaaaaaaaagh if you are squeemish....don't look.. http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Finger_Way_Up_The_Nose.htm

Job Descriptions

1. A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

2. An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didnt happen today.

3. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

4. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.

5. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand.

6. A mathematician is like a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isnt there.

7. A topologist is a someone who doesnt know the difference between a coffee cup and doughnut.

8. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."

9. A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

10. A professor is one who talks in someone elses sleep.

11. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

12. A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Like the way you think

Teacher:- "Right, there are five birds sitting on a telephone line. A farmer comes along with his gun and shoots one of them. How many are left?"

Little Johnny:- "None Miss".

Teacher:- "Could you tell me why?"

Little Johnny:- "Well Miss, when the farmer shot the bird, the sound of the gun would have frightened the other birds away".

Teacher:- "Well, the answer I was looking for was four. But I like your thinking."

Little Johnny:- "Miss, while were asking questions, could I ask you one?"

Teacher:- "Its a bit irregular, but go on then"

Little Johnny:- "There are three women sitting on a bench in the park, eating ice lollies. One of them is licking the lolly; one is biting it; and one is putting it in and out of her mouth. Which one is married?"

Teacher (rather embarrassed):- "Err... I suppose it was the last one."

Little Johnny:- "Well Id have said the one with the wedding ring. But I like your thinking."

You see what happens when I am bored!!!!

Men are Happier

Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can be President. You can never be pregnant.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.

Car Mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.

You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

Same work, more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.

People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

One mood all the time.

Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.

You know stuff about tanks.

A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all of your own jars.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You never have strap problems in public.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.

You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.

You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.

You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier!

HI JOE....Gonna start on a new picture today....found two great ones to do! YAY....I hope I can meet you again next time you are round this way....I will bring my album, so you can see em for real! Extra big hug to ya

Oh OH spoke to Donnie Darko last night in the chat...he says hi to all!

js1200js1000 - No pressure, just worried is all....I know once a baby is on the scene...time is never the same again...

you realize just how much of it you had before!

Hugs all

HI JOE!!!!!

Oh OH and thanks for all the explanations of the songs, I think there should be a law on that, along the lines that it HAS to done on every album, coz it just makes the songs mean so much more....course its always different to what you thought it might be about LOL

Michelle - LOL loved the bowl and the ball!

Zinc Master - HAHA men turning into women....we are not like that are we? hehehe spot on!

eyeQ - HAHA don't know what a verb is but yeah cool new word!...Like Satchaholic, Satchurated, Satchified, Satchurday....and the list goes on!

IRuleYouDrool - HAHA I still don't understand....is it the same as raining cats and dogs?

MaxiMagnet - You are a star...thanks for your help.

AmirK - Don't keep us in suspense....none of us know....you are gonna have to spell it out!

Joe Satrini - Thanks.

anibur - Oh yeah....get ordering....its fantastic!

Hi Everybody....anybody

OK OK....Official ticket seller didn't have any left but said there wasn't a message to say sold out so try the club....

An hour to get someone to answer the phone and boy did I let it ring for ages each time coz I was ringing from work...

Finally get through and they say i need to ring a different office here is the number...OK OK

So Speed dial every two minutes for an hour and a half to be told no sold out....will there be tickets on sale at the door NO

OK so here is the dilemma....

DO I TRAVEL TO LONDON AND HANG OUTSIDE FOR A TOUT OR ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT SOMEONE ELSE NEEDS TO SELL ONE COZ THEIR MATE GOT SICK?

Bearing in mind that Billy Talent are a very unknown band and so the tout shouldn't be putting the prices up too much....the one for Paul Gilbert was only selling em for £2.50 more than the original price?

Have you ever done it? Did you get lucky....no no not like that...get that out of your mind....did you get a ticket?

Huh? Huh? what should I do?,......my boss has said OK to swopping my day and everything?

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh Gig is next Tuesday....so answers not on a postcard please.....email ASAP!

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp....I Really Really want to see em coz I am totally into em....I guess if I didn't get a ticket I would be first at backstage door??????

what to do what to do?

Joe likes the rain....

Michelle - thanks for being the only one to help on here...cor know who yer friends are when you need help! LOL

i like your thinking....yeah I got three things now from jumping up and down and being enthusiastic.....yeah I can get a ticket....course i can.....

yeah yeah.....

go for it ......

nothing to lose....only a day and a train fare....

better get practicing

Ahem.....swing swing...

boing

and rest

boing

and rest

BOING

BOING

BOING

BOINGY BOINGY

please please can i have a ticket huh huh?

BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY

please please can i have a ticket huh huh?

BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY

please please can i have a ticket huh huh?

BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY BOINGY

please please can i have a ticket huh huh please please?

yep....I am raring to go now!

Oh my word I had the most amazing lifelike dream with Joe in it last night....it was so casual....but I seemed to be the only one who knew who he was, so I had a great chat...it was so intense....reall bummer to wake up and realize it wasnt true....i was so lokking forward to showing you all what he wrote on the magazine too!

waaaaaaaaahh

Maximagnet - you are welcome my friend.

Gruskada - Yeeeeeew that was the most awful rendition of I believe I have ever heard!Good interview though….hmmm wonder what a pile of fruit on an amplifier sounds like?

Kayla - Sorry to hear about your sister! Hope you are good sweety

Anibur - yeah I thought £12.99 from my local store was good....worth it just for the write up and the pictures! would love to do a drawing of the moment with the clapperboard....might be able to catch it on me camera!

IRuleYouDrool - hmmmmmm

alexandrecaetano - you have to explain the sea eyes, I have been wondering too long what it means now! LOL

roffler - first concert was Motorhead....ace of spades tour...around 1980 at the Hammersmith Odeon in London...I was 14!

anyone got a log cabin miles from any people that I can live in for the rest of my life?

or maybe I nice hole to crawl in.....